Little Boo Peep
Dr. Spook’s Advice
Moldy Lox and the Three Bears
Winnie the Boo
The Weirdzard of Oz
Ra-moana Forever
Little Wo-moan
Pin-ooohh!-chio
Dr. Boolittle
Tails of Peter Rabid
Black Booty
Category Archives: Other Junk
Random junk that doesn’t go anywhere else.
The Unfriendly Restaurhaunt and Coffin Shop Moan-U
The following is a menu offered at the Unfriendly Restaurhant and Coffin Shop Moan-U.
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A die-ning delight that will lift your spirits!
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SAND-WITCHES
Boo-loney
Boo-gels and Scream Cheese
Hallow-weenies
Liver-worst
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BOO-VERAGES
Milk Shaaaakes
Ice Scream Floats
Orange Crrrush
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HEX-TRAS
Clammy on the Half Shell
Chilllled Tomb-ato Juice
Deviled Eggs
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SOUPS AND SALADS
L-eeek! Soup
Cream of Asparaghost
Arti-Choke Hearts
Lettuce Alone Salad
Marinated Brussel Shouts
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SIGHED DISHES
Baked Beings
Cre-mated Spinach
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DESS-HURTS
Creep Suzettes
Banana Scream Pie
Sheet Cake
Key Slime Pie
Hot Sludge Shun-dae
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TODAY’S SPE-CHILLS
Spook-ghetti
Souther Fright Chicken
Ghoul-lash
Turkey with Grave-y
Pasta-way
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Breakfast Served from Midnight to 3 A.M. Daily
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CEREALS
Ghost Toasties with Evaporated Milk
Shrouded Wheat
Scream of Wheat
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EGGS
Terri-fried Eggs — Over Easy
Scream-bled Eggs
Three-moan-it Soft-booled Eggs
Stormy-side-up Eggs
Eggs Boonidict
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Cust-tomb-ers: We accept Die-ners Club, Monster Card, and American Hex-press Credit Cards
Great Places to Haunt
Massacre-chusetts – Don’t miss Booston!
Gory-gone – Right on the West Ghost! And don’t skip the Petrified Forest!
New Hexico – Plan to stay a spell!
Moantana – Truly terrifying scenery!
Wy-ooohhh-ming – Lots of moantains to climb!
New Hauntshire – Be sure to visit Discord, the capital city.
Purr-fect Pet Proverbs
Don’t put the cat before the horse.
It takes one to show one.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a Manx healthy, wealthy, and wise.
No mews is good mews.
A stitch in time saves nine lives.
He who laps last laps best.
A rolling bone gathers no moss.
Mice guys finish last.
Top Dog and Cat Movies
The Love Pug
The Gr-r-reat Gatsby
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kit
Cur-age of Lassie
Heel-o Dolly
Fangenstein
Cur-eature form the Black Lagoon
The Pet and the Pendulum
The Invisible Manx
The French Poodle Connection
Cat Ballou
A-cur-demy Award-winning Mew-vie Stars
Kat-herine Hepburn
Jane Hounda
Collie Stevens
Mickey Meowse
Fang Sinatra
Bitey Davis
Angora Dickinson
Alfred Hitch-cocker Spaniel
Goldiefish Hawn
Rabbit Redford
Mary Tyler Moo-er
Johnny Curson
Top Dog and Cat Songs – Ten Great Mewsical Hits
Pup Goes the Weasel
My Old Kenneltucky Home
The Alley Cat
What’s New, Pussycat?
Tommy
Chow Much Do I Love You?
Melan-collie Baby
Sergeant Purr-per’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Purr-sonality
Pet Your Arms Around Me
I Saw You Last Night And Got That Old Feline
You Have Bad Luck If…
How can you tell if you’re one of life’s losers? …You don’t have any luck at all if:
– When you put a coin in the soda machine, you get your soda before the cup drops into place.
– You find a ten-dollar bill and get arrested when you try to spend it because it’s counterfeit.
– You get your big break and make the football team only to trip over the bench and break your leg.
– You start to go bald at the same time you reach puberty.
– The guarantee on your used car expires two hours before the car’s engine does.
You Know It’s Freezing Outside When…
America just made it through another snowy winter. Last year record lows were established. It was cold, but it could get worse.
You know it’s freezing outside when…
– your water bed turns into an ice cap.
– your false teeth chatter and they’re not even in your mouth.
– you run outside sobbing and your tears freeze.
– conservationists find “Big Foot” frozen to death.
– city workers can’t get the snow plows started.
The Real Difference Between Young and Old
As every minute passes, we all grow older. But people say that you’re only as old as you feel. So what is the real difference between young and old? It’s not the years. It’s how you look at life:
– When he’s young, a man can’t wait to grow a beard… but when he gets old, the same man just hates to shave every day.
– When she’s young, a girl loves to fix meals… but when she becomes an old married lady, the thing she hates the most is fixing breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her family every day.
– When he’s young, a man enjoys watching girls… but when he gets old, the same man prefers watching the market.
– When she’s young, a girl loves to make herself look older by putting a gray streak in her hair… but when she gets old and finds a real gray streak in her hair, she cries her eyes out.
You Know You’re Getting Fat When…
Being a little overweight is okay. But you know you’re really getting fat when…
– your son plays cowboys and asks if he can use your belt as a lasso.
– your refrigerator handle wears out from overuse
– the shocks in your car wear out twice as fast as other people’s shocks.
– you sit on a metal bar stool and it becomes a metal foot stool when you get up.
– you stand in a room all alone and feel crowded.
– you have to walk through doors sideways.
– you stand on a curb and your stomach blocks traffic.
– you have to use a mirror in order to see your shoes.
– you drop money and don’t bother to bend over and pick it up unless it’s more than a quarter.
– you go for a stroll and the sidewalk creaks.
Tongue Twisters
– Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
– Seventy sailors sailed seven swift ships.
– Joe jumps joyfully in June and July.
– Davy Dear ducks Dinah Dear daily.
– Fast Freddie Frog fries fat flying fish.
– Hairy Harry Hartley hurries home.
– Slippery southern snakes slide swiftly down ski slopes.
– Billy Bunny burst his big beautiful blue balloon.
– Fran fans Fred frantically.
– Fast Frank fries frankfurters and french fries.
– How many bagels could a Beagle bake if a Beagle could bake bagels?
– Seven silly skunks sighed sadly.
– Little Linda Lamb licks her lovely lips.
– “Shoot, Sally,” Slim Sam shouted shyly.
– Wee Willy whistles to wise Wilber Whale.
They Have Schools For Everything
These days they have schools for everything:
– I went to card shark school, but failed out because I didn’t cheat on the tests.
– I went to oven repair school and it was a gas.
– I dropped out of butcher school because I couldn’t hack it.
– I graduated from astronomy school and came out starry-eyed.
You Know You’re Living In the Past If…
You know you’re living in the past if:
…You think children are to be seen and not heard.
…Detroit stopped making parts for your car ten years ago.
…The last time you went to the movies, they were still censoring people who kissed each other on the mouth.
…You think the most suggestive dance you ever saw is the Twist.
…You think the family car belongs to the parents.
…You think a picket line is a fence.
Your Blind Date is a Dud If…
If you’re a fellow who goes out on a lot of blind dates, you’ve got to beware of real duds. Your blind date is a dud if:
– She’s the kind of girl who uses too much perfume and not enough deodorant.
– She yells downstairs that she’ll be ready as soon as she finds her wig and false teeth.
– She sticks her bublegum behind her ear to kiss you hello.
– You have to stand on a chair to kiss her hello.
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If you’re a girl who goes out on blind dates, you’ve got to beware of losers. Girls, your blind date is a loser if:
– He has more hair on his face than he does on his head.
– He picks the lock of your front door instead of knocking.
– He shows up driving a hearse.
– He asks you if you’d like something to drink and takes you to the water fountain in the park.
– He takes you to a fancy restaurant wearing a tee shirt with another girl’s picture printed on it.
– When he meets your parents, he picks a fight with them.