The dream starts with me launching two ICBMs while on the freeway. Unsure where they went, but they didn’t explode. I got arrested but was taken to a school convention instead of a jail. I left overnight, then woke up and was arrested again outside the market place I was dropped off at. I then called elmoisfurry to warn him about the whole situation since he was supposedly there too.
Then I woke up.
Deck the halls with gasoline
Fa la la la la la la la la
Light a match and watch it clean
Fa la la la la la la la la
Watch your school burn down to ashes
Fa la la la la la la la la
Man: “How’s your history paper coming?”
Woman: “Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful.”
Man: “Really?”
Woman: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!”
“I want to do the best I can, and learn how to study.”
– davepoobond
davepoobond: Hola!
SuperiorDonald: Hola!
(end)
– conversation written for Spanish class
“Tu esperes que no tenemos escuela.” (You hope that we don’t have school)
– davepoobond
I found this note at school.
–
Peter
You know Greg, you’re really starting to piss me off
Greg
I’m pissing you off!?
Well, shit, it piss me off
that I’ve come to a new place
and I’m trying desperately to
fit in and thrive in a new school
while your rich, pretty boy ass
hides in big daddy’s pocket
as he shells out mass amount of
Ben Frankling for your fu resplendent
future as a professional jerk off
Peter
That’s it you little bitch. I’m
bring you down one way or
another
–
Suffice to say, I do not know who these people are or the dramatic ending to this story that probably ended 10 years ago.
I found this at school.
–
The tea is too cold
The tea is too hot. I can’t drink it.
I can’t put my dictionary in my pocket. My dictionary is too big.
An elephant is too big. A mouse is too small.
I can’t buy a boat because it’s too expensive, but Anita can buy one if she wants to.
We went to the Rocky Mountains for our vacation. The mountains are too beautiful.
I can’t eat this food because it’s too salty.
Amanda doesn’t like her room in the dorm. She thinks it’s too small.
I lost your dictionary. I’m too sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.
A: Do you like your math course?
B: Yes. It’s too difficult, but I enjoy it.
“$13 Billion + California public schools = A good thing.”
– ?
Loading ...davepoobond: i have 4 classes tomorrow that we watch a movie in
stimpyismyname: woot
stimpyismyname: roxor
davepoobond: isn’t that weeeeeeeeird
stimpyismyname: woot
stimpyismyname: haxortheinternet.com
davepoobond: ahh?
davepoobond: what is it
davepoobond: that’s not a real site..
stimpyismyname: so what
stimpyismyname: whatcha gonna do about it
stimpyismyname: bitch
stimpyismyname: :-):-P;-):-(:-P;-):-)>:o
stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-P:-(;-):-P;-):-(
stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-*:-(=-O:-P
stimpyismyname: ;-):-(>:o:-P=-O
davepoobond: wow
stimpyismyname:
:-):-(;-):-P
:-(;-):-P:-)
;-):-P:-):-(
:-P:-):-(;-)
stimpyismyname: theres a lot of courses for film at bu
davepoobond: whats bu
stimpyismyname: boston university
davepoobond: yeah i’m sure to get in there
stimpyismyname: dont care
chewy17171717: hahhah i like your profile it matches mine
davepoobond: reallllly
chewy17171717: ya
chewy17171717: isn’t that so cool
chewy17171717: r u from china
davepoobond: definitely
chewy17171717: ?
davepoobond: oh yes i’m chinese
chewy17171717: what part
davepoobond: the place they speak mandarin
chewy17171717: hahah me too
chewy17171717: what part
davepoobond: coool
davepoobond: the place where they sell the fish frying in deep oil
chewy17171717: so what r u doin tonight
davepoobond: i’m going to jack off
davepoobond: what about you
chewy17171717: hey i have a kid in a room
davepoobond: a room?
davepoobond: what do you do with this kid in a room
chewy17171717: no my kid
chewy17171717: i um take care of it
chewy17171717: u perv its my kid
davepoobond: really?
chewy17171717: ok anyway
davepoobond: wait a seconddd
chewy17171717: actually i live in hong konk
chewy17171717: kong
davepoobond: your profile says you’re 14 and you go to catholic school
davepoobond: how can you have a kid
chewy17171717: i did like 3 weeks ago
chewy17171717: i need somone else to help me out
chewy17171717: like a father
davepoobond: and you think you’ll find one online
davepoobond: i getchya
chewy17171717: will u
chewy17171717: no im jk
chewy17171717: her name is Laurel
chewy17171717: i hate catholic skewls
chewy17171717: its so devestating
davepoobond: actually, i wouldn’t mind being your husband
chewy17171717: is your name dave
davepoobond: i’m 42, and have a decent job
davepoobond: yes i am
chewy17171717: really
chewy17171717: ooo u arn’t the pervert in the 17 magazine
chewy17171717: r u
davepoobond: no. i think he’s my cousin though
davepoobond: i’m a subscriber to it
davepoobond: i get every issue
chewy17171717: really have u read the recent one
davepoobond: i usually jack off to it everyday at 7:36 PM
davepoobond: no i haven’t
chewy17171717: what r the magazines about
davepoobond: i was going to open it at 7:33:23 to look through it
davepoobond: i dont know, i dont read the articles
davepoobond: there’s just stupid topics about stupid kids
davepoobond: i dont like them, i just fuck them
davepoobond: oops did i just say that
davepoobond: oh well
chewy17171717: hey im one those kids
chewy17171717: oo would u like to fuck me
davepoobond: well then, there goes by parole
davepoobond: sure
chewy17171717: your 42 and a redneck
chewy17171717: great
chewy17171717: what i always wanted
davepoobond: who says i’m a redneck?
chewy17171717: my name is Brigid
chewy17171717: i do
chewy17171717: sob
davepoobond: your profile says you’re julie
chewy17171717: jk
chewy17171717: hahah
chewy17171717: my bitch is fuckin me
davepoobond: oh no
chewy17171717: thats my friends name im spendin
chewy17171717: hahah jk
chewy17171717: so u must be one of those perverts arnt u
davepoobond: sure
chewy17171717: u guys r the ppl who did this to me
davepoobond: sowwy
chewy17171717: stop talken to me
davepoobond: i thought you wanted to fuck
davepoobond: you fuck
chewy17171717: um no
chewy17171717: excuse me but my daughter is to young
chewy17171717: u should no better
chewy17171717: u young kids should be thinking about skewl not girls
davepoobond: how old is she
chewy17171717: 9
davepoobond: so you had a baby when you were 5
chewy17171717: i think u would know better than that
chewy17171717: no this is the mother of the girl u just talked to
chewy17171717: so i said good day
–
Just then I get warned “anonymously.”
–
davepoobond: and then what did i say
Previous message was not received by chewy17171717 because of error: User chewy17171717 is not available.
“One day I was walking home from school, when all of a sudden somebody came over to me. He took my glasses and stomped on them. He took my clothes off and then burned them while I watched mournfully at the bon fire in front of me. I cried for 3 weeks straight afterwards.”
– davepoobond
“Hello, My name is Shawn and I need to buy a few books still after I bought books for the liberal studies class I’m taking the books I need to get still are: … ”
*insert list of books*
” … and I’m wondering if there are used copies, am I able to rent them for the semester and are they in stock
okay thanks”
– an e-mail from davepoobond’s job