There were three blondes on an island and they didn’t know how to go home. A genie came along and granted each of them a wish.
The first blonde said: “I want to be smart enough to get off the island.” So she swam back home.
The second blonde said: “I want to be smarter than the first blonde!” So she built a boat and went home.
Then, when the genie asked what the third blonde wanted, she said: “I want to be smarter than all of them!”
So she walked across the bridge!
I found this at school.
The tea is too cold
The tea is too hot. I can’t drink it.
I can’t put my dictionary in my pocket. My dictionary is too big.
An elephant is too big. A mouse is too small.
I can’t buy a boat because it’s too expensive, but Anita can buy one if she wants to.
We went to the Rocky Mountains for our vacation. The mountains are too beautiful.
I can’t eat this food because it’s too salty.
Amanda doesn’t like her room in the dorm. She thinks it’s too small.
I lost your dictionary. I’m too sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.
A: Do you like your math course?
B: Yes. It’s too difficult, but I enjoy it.
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, “Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it.”
So she drove the boat to shore.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him,
switched the TV channel, and said to him, “Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I’m having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes.”
Q: What’s the difference between a boat builder and a mail order mannequin company?
A: One shapes ships, the other ships shapes.
Q: Where do sick boats go?
A: To the dock-tor.
Two Eskimos went fishing in their kayak.
After a while it got so cold they lit a fire under the boat. The boat soon went up in flames and sunk.
MORAL: You can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
CRUISE TRAVELLER: “How close are we to land?”
CRUISE CAPTAIN: “About three miles.”
CRUISE TRAVELLER: “In which direction?”
CRUISE CAPTAIN: “Straight down.
Yankee Noodle Dandy
It Had to be Stew
Of Tea I Sing
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat
Fry Me to the Moon
There’s No Business Like Dough Business
“HELP CRUSH THE MENACE OF THE SEAS”
::a picture of an airplane shooting a boat is underneath::
“BUY LIBERTY BONDS”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“We have a motorboat with a 4-hour supply of gas. How far can we go from the marina in 5 minutes?”
– Ms. E
“It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean.”
– from the Internet
One night a banking tycoon fell overboard form his yacht.
He was saved because he could float a loan.