Tag Archives: island

Giraffe and Annika (PC) Review

Developer: atelier mimina | Publisher: PLAYISM || Overall: 8/10

Overview:

Giraffe and Annika is a quick adventure game set on Spica Island. As Annika, you’ll explore the island and discover secrets, run through dungeons, and do some other interesting things. While waiting for “the shoe to drop,” I was expecting a heel turn from Giraffe, since despite being a titular character, he is suspiciously powerful and doesn’t do much. I wasn’t exactly correct in my assumption, but the mystery of what is going on in the big picture is hinted at but not spelled out until the end. What ends up happening is that we get a nice little adventure game with a heartfelt story, similar to the movie Spirited Away, in a sense.

Graphics:

So, it is a mixed bag here. The graphics aren’t terrible, but they certainly don’t look modern. A lot of the assets feel like stock assets included in whatever engine the game is using. At the same time, there’s a lot of customized graphical work that has some charm, so it isn’t for a lack of effort the way the game looks — probably just resources. The team seems pretty small and a lot of the effort went into music.

There are a number of characters you are introduced to on the island, probably around 12 in total, half being rabbits. There are also some non-hostile ghosts who do some of the “manual labor” of the island such as operating boats/trams/etc, but they don’t have any real personality outside of the hat they are wearing. Lily, the main antagonist in the story, actually has motion-captured animations and dances around during the boss fights, which is nice. Additionally, you could probably jerk off to her since she’s kinda hot, so there’s that.

Sound:

The music is an integral part, though not emphasized enough to call this a “musical game.” While most of the game is actually a series of light puzzles where you run through stages, the “boss” of each stage is a song/rhythm mini-game. The rhythm game is actually pretty simple; you either move Annika left or right and press a button at the right time for each orb that is lobbed towards you. Some orbs are dangerous and have to be avoided, but generally there isn’t much trouble getting through it.

However, to get 100% on the boss stages is a different story, and you’ll likely have to memorize at least a portion of the boss stages to get through with a high rank. There are also 3 difficulty levels for each boss stage and you can play at any time (once you beat them), so there’s certainly “enough” of a point to the boss mini-game to have it exist. There are only 5 boss stages, however, which goes to the brevity of the overall experience.

Gameplay:

Most people should be able to get through in less than 8 hours. I fell asleep a couple of times while playing, so there’s definitely some time that could have shaved off my total. Generally, the game is a very light puzzle/platforming/running game with sprawling levels. One level actually has well-designed puzzles that require you to time things correctly — but it’s still pretty easy.

In general, I’d suggest the game could be playable by young kids, maybe around 8 years old, though they may not understand anything that’s really going on. The story isn’t particularly “for adults,” but does deal lightly with death and puts the story in that context once you complete it. It’s probably a game for “everyone” at the end of the day, especially since there is no combat.

There is also a collection of “Meowsterpieces” to find across the island, which are pieces of art. When you find them, they get added to a collection, and at certain points you can turn them in for prizes, such as clothing for Annika. There is a minimum requirement to gather around 16 of them to get a ticket to advance to the last stage, so you do need to collect some, but not all, of the art.

Crappiest Part:

I guess the crappiest part is the running animations. It all looks like everyone is gliding across the ground instead of actually walking on it. It makes the game look cheap and more low-effort than it actually is, which isn’t a great impression when you first load up the game.

I would probably have enjoyed it more if there were more difficult platforming puzzles in the dungeons. However, I wasn’t particularly inclined to put that much effort into it if I got stuck, so it would have been a fine line to walk. I took a long break after not being able to find the rabbit kids in enough time, and that is about two hours into the game.

Conclusion:

I enjoyed the game enough to beat it, which isn’t something I usually do. The game held my interest enough at a certain point to continue with it and try to beat it. The story is pretty thin, but interesting. I’m glad I played this, though I suppose I was hoping for something a little more weird/off the rails.

Storm Boy (PC) Review

Developer/Publisher: Blowfish Studios || Overall: 6.0/10

Storm Boy, a story I have never heard of, written by Australian author Colin Thiele, who I also have never heard of, has several adaptations, which I have not heard of either… until a Google search today. It’s not really possible to review this in the traditional sense of it being a game, since it is basically a re-telling of a children’s story. Just know there is copious amounts of death and sex. Well, not really. But… it is implied! Heheheheheheheheeeeee….

Simply put, there’s not really much to do here. I could shit on the story, which I will sort of, but it’s kind of low-hanging fruit. My thoughts are sort of along the lines of “why is this a thing?” It is obvious that the developers have some sort of connection with this story, and is probably something commonly encountered in Australian media. The game is designed for children, around 6 or 7 years old, but they’d have to be mature enough to be okay with a Pelican being shot dead in front of their face.

Throughout, there are a number of simple activities that you probably won’t spend more than five minutes on each. There is one activity in which you collect up to 100 shells (if you’re a mad man like me), and that’s about the longest you can spend on any one thing. The art and music is very well done, considering what is trying to be accomplished here. With only at most 45 minutes of time spent on this title it seems like a lot of effort for something so short.

The story is generally about a boy, named Storm Boy, who lives with his dad “Hide-Away Tom” on a remote island. After his wife died, Hide-Away decided to live on a remote beach away from society. They are also friends with an Aboriginal named Fingerbone Bill. Despite the cool-sounding name he doesn’t do shit. And Hide-Away Tom is an asshole, because he doesn’t give his son an actual name. Applying to colleges must be a pain in the ass.

Storm Boy finds three baby pelicans on the beach one day, with the third being in bad shape. He nurses them all back to health, then his dad, being the anti-social asshole he is, makes his son send them away. But Mr. Percival (the one who was the most sickly) comes back and Storm Boy becomes best friends with him. As the story progresses, Mr. Percival is shot while trying to save ducks from hunters. The story is essentially about life and death, but I was left scratching my head wondering why half of the things in the story even happened.

I’m sure there are fans of the original story and there is more to the book than what is presented in the game, but I kind of don’t see the point of this being made other than as a passion project. It isn’t particularly fun, and there isn’t anything that lets you learn “extra details” about the story if you were so inclined. It could be a good way to “present” this story to a young child without forcing them to read 94 pages.

I suppose I’ll always wonder what happened to the other two pelicans, and why they didn’t give a shit about Storm Boy.

Joke #24792

There were three blondes on an island and they didn’t know how to go home.  A genie came along and granted each of them a wish.

The first blonde said: “I want to be smart enough to get off the island.” So she swam back home.

The second blonde said: “I want to be smarter than the first blonde!” So she built a boat and went home.

Then, when the genie asked what the third blonde wanted, she said: “I want to be smarter than all of them!”

So she walked across the bridge!

Joke #21169

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
– Two Italian men and one Italian woman
– Two French men and one French woman
– Two German men and one German woman
– Two Greek men and one Greek woman
– Two English men and one English woman
– Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
– Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
– Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
– Two Irish men and one Irish woman
– Two American men and one American woman

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a “ménage à trois.”

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.

The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they’re satisfied because the English aren’t having any fun.

The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut the fuck up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn’t they bring a goddamn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this godforsaken deserted island in the middle of friggin’ nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping…

Joke #18570

A botanist had just returned from an expedition to the South Pacific Islands and was dicussing their adventures with their colleagues back at the university where they taught.

“What was the most exciting discovery you found there?”, asked a fellow professor. One of them replied, “The people native to this one island had discovered the most amazing cure for constipation. Using only the leaves of the local palm trees they concocted a suppository which quickly cured the ailment.”

Another professor asked, “A palm leaf suppository? Did it really work?”

Replied the botanist, “Sure! With fronds like these, who needs enemas?”

The big mystery on “Gilligan’s Island” was

The big mystery on "Gilligan's Island" was

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The Mammoths In the Ocean

Once upon a time, there lived a magnificent civilization under the sea.  While you might be thinking it is a society of merpeople or single fish, you are wrong.  This society was created by mammoths. Mammoths wearing scuba gear.

Everyday they would refill their oxygen tanks at the Oxygen Station.  They would comb their hair and eat pop-tarts for lunch, dinner, and sometimes breakfast.  They would eat water for breakfast.

So, anyway, humans evolved and started shitting on the ocean and dumping their Twinkie wrappers in the middle of the Pacific like assholes.

This soon created a Trash Island that became as big as the Pacific itself.  Eventually, the Insectoid Empire declared the Trash Island as their sovereignty and announced war against the humans.  After a long, arduous game of Monopoly, the humans lost and agreed to fly to the moon and remake their society there since no one gives a shit about that place.

The Insectoid Empire enjoyed a long and prosperous reign on land but they wanted more.  The Ocean Mammoth embassy on the Trash Island gave the Insectoid Empire an idea.  Why not take over the Ocean Mammoth civilization?

A surgical strike at the mammoth’s Oxygen Stations sealed the deal and soon enough the streets of the Ocean Mammoth civilization were filled with drowned mammoths.  Eventually large schools of barracudas and piranhas came and ate all of them and destroyed all of their inventions, losing all of their technology forever.

The Insectoid Empire relished this victory and soon became an imperialistic power taking over one planet after the next.  They were parasites after all.

Moral of the story:  Foreign dependence is bad.

Joke #9119

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life –until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies…nothing…only bananas and coconuts.

Four months later, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”

“I rowed from the other side of the island,” she says. “I landed here when my cruise ship sank.”

“Amazing,’ he says. “You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.”

“Oh, this?’ replies the woman. “I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were
whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.”

“But, but, that’s impossible,’ stutters Ed. “You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?”

“Oh, that was no problem,” replies the woman. “On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forge-able ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.” Ed is stunned.  “Let’s row over to my place,” she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?”

“No, no, thank you.’ he says, still dazed. “Can’t take any more coconut juice.” “It’s not coconut juice,”the woman replies. “How about a Pina Colada?”

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,

“I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.”

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. “Wow! This woman is amazing!” he muses, “What next?”

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. “Tell me,” she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve been out here for a really long time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for all these months. You know…” She stares into his eyes.

He can’t believe what he’s hearing: “You mean—“, he swallows excitedly, “I can check my email?!”