seivinss – n. an asshole who uses his hazard lights whenever he has his car stopped so he makes people less likely to be behind him. He will only put them on when he is stopped at a red light but when he starts moving will turn them off.
Posts tagged with 'traffic'
enavitmbe – v. to drive in stop and go traffic conditions, driving at five different constant cruise speeds, ranging from 40 to 72 Km/h (25 to 45 MPH) over a 10 minute period.
Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #24621
I hate you,
You hate me
Let Barney hang on a traffic light
Then he will drop and get ran over by cars and die.
No more purple dinosaur.
The Driving Test
You must look for bicycle riders…
Correct answer is C.
When a traffic signal light is not working, you should…
Correct answer is A.
Q: How do you get a black person to commit suicide?
A: Toss a bucket of fried chicken into traffic.
One evening I was driving my six-year-old daughter to her grandparents’ home for an overnight stay. It was late, there was little traffic and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, “I have a question.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Mom, when you’re driving,” she asked, “are you ever the idiot?”
A hesitant driver, waiting for traffic to clear, came to a complete stop on the freeway ramp.
Shortly, the traffic thinned out but the driver still waited.
Finally a furious voice from the vehicle behind him cried, “Hey, you jerk! The sign says ‘Yield’, not surrender!”
Have you licked a manatee?
You Know You’re Getting Fat When…
Being a little overweight is okay. But you know you’re really getting fat when…
– your son plays cowboys and asks if he can use your belt as a lasso.
– your refrigerator handle wears out from overuse
– the shocks in your car wear out twice as fast as other people’s shocks.
– you sit on a metal bar stool and it becomes a metal foot stool when you get up.
– you stand in a room all alone and feel crowded.
– you have to walk through doors sideways.
– you stand on a curb and your stomach blocks traffic.
– you have to use a mirror in order to see your shoes.
– you drop money and don’t bother to bend over and pick it up unless it’s more than a quarter.
– you go for a stroll and the sidewalk creaks.
Caller: Operator! Operator! What’s the fastest way for me to get to the hospital?
Operator: Have you tried playing in traffic?
ucanhar – n. extreme traffic
xefoler – v. to direct traffic with your penis
Joke #9309: The Judge Shows No Class
In the traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time.
A wild gleam came into the judge’s eyes. “You’re a schoolteacher, eh?” he said. “Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I’ve waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not drive through red lights’ 500 times!”