I had a dream about a party at my parent’s house with tons of random “family” members, even dead ones.
Melissa Joan Hart was there and she knew me and waved. A pair of twin brothers named Eddie and Edik I hadn’t met before were also there.
There was some sort of evaluation sheet that allowed me to jump back and forth to see their degradation in smartness or something and if they changed over time, it would give a status about them.
In the family room, I wanted wine but my mom would keep pouring watered-down sparkling water and then pour some wine afterwards, despite not wanting that. I finally took the wine myself and then left to go to another room.
In the other room was a room full of young hipster-type people. I was done with my “family” and decided to go into the next room with those people. They were all huddled around the couch playing some board game, and there was about 15 to 20 of them and not all of them were playing. They all looked at me but didn’t know who I was. I said “Hi, my name is Dave and I’m an alcoholic” as a joke, but they thought I was serious and asked if I was an alcoholic.
I remember something about “The Mayor” (not a real person) showing up at the party and then all of a sudden there were gun shots or something like that, someone was trying to kill him or me, I don’t know. I woke up at that point.
I’m in a dungeon with this guy; I’m the healer. He kept dying a lot. Eventually I get a trinket at the end of the run…
Decota: game just dosent get i need purple shit
Decota: nah got that
Decota: trad ya
Decota: for the trink
davepoobond: trade what
Decota: [Obelisk of the Void]
davepoobond: for a ring i dont need?
Decota: ok buddy
Decota: you shuld learn to heal better
davepoobond: maybe dont afk
Decota: dam 2.5mil crit
Decota: god dam it get your thumb out of your ass
davepoobond: you should learn to live better, mage
Decota: fuck you
Decota: learn to heal
davepoobond: my trink is not yours
davepoobond: you are not entitled to it
Decota: you need that and more
davepoobond: get your head out of your ass
Decota: let the tank die
Decota: with 4mil lol
davepoobond: you let your mom die
Decota: see ya dum as
These can also double as “your mom is so fat” or “your momma is so fat” etc…
You’re so fat…
…when I tried to swerve out of the way, I ran out of gas.
…your belly button gets home 15 minutes before you do.
…when you jumped into the ocean the whales started singing “We are Family.”
…when you did the Nae Nae you hit the sun then people thought it was the end.
…you could sell shade.
…Goodyear wanted to fly you over the Super Bowl.
…when you fell in love you broke it.
…when you have to haul ass you have to take two trips.
…when you were diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave you 10 years to live.
…you can’t fit in this joke.
…the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.
…when you sit around the house you sit AROUND the house.
…the post office gave you your own zip code.
…when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the house.
…when you sat on an iPhone it turned into an iPad
“Being a single mom is hard. Or so I hear. I wouldn’t know, I don’t have kids.”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Your momma is so fat her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Tic tac toe
Barney got shot by G.I. Joe
Momma called the doctor
and the doctor said
Uh oh Barney’s dead
xylamom – n. a mom that you can play like a xylaphone
;} n. a mom that can play a xylaphone
Written for the movie Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets.
1st off fuk ur bitch n yo fat ass mom
i fn’ed fuken her but caz of her lose pussy i couldn’t cum
yea i no dats wrong
but tryin to battle against me
you won’t last long
like the weed in ma glass bong
they call me long shlong
Guy: We’re gonna give everyone else a chance.
davepoobond: Give your MOM a chance!
– conversation at high school
“Heres the thing, im not dating ever again. period.
I hate dating.
I dont want to know about your mom.
I dont care about the baby eagle you rescued when you were 18.
I just want a steak, and to go home.”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Submitted through the Anti-Barney song submission form.
This form was submitted: May 04 2005 / 06:19:57
name = jo mama
use_email = no
song = barney is gay he should die and i fucked his mom