Two rabbis walk into a bank.
While waiting in line, bank robbers storm inside, not only robbing the bank but also forcing the customers to hand over their own money and jewelry.
One rabbi slips something into the hand of the other rabbi.
“What is this?” the rabbi whispered.
The other rabbi replied, “It’s the fifty bucks I owe you.”
A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, “Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?”
A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, “I’ll fight you!” The little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him.
Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, “Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?”
This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too.
So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom.
Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, “There’s a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass.”
Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, “Tell that damn black guy his fur coat is in the toilet.”
A young black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi, I’m tired of handouts, I want a job.”
The man behind the counter replied, “Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You’ll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes — the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided for and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year.”
The black guy said, “Ah c’mon, you’re bullshitting me!”
The man behind the counter said, “Well, you started it!”
A man goes into a shop and sees three jars on a table.
The first jar says “Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint”. The second says “Asian Brains, $10.00 a pint”, and the third says ” Black Brains, $100.00 a pint.”
“Hey, why are these Black brains $100 bucks a pint?” asked the man.
The shop owner replied, “You know how many blacks you have to kill to get a whole pint of brains?”
Q: How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she’s pregnant?
A: When she pulls out her tampon and it’s half eaten.
Q: Why don’t blacks have checkbooks?
A: They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.
Q: What do you call a black guy having sex?
Q: When is the only time you smile and wink at a black guy?
A: When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.
Q: What do you call a black guy with a regular job, who doesn’t drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn’t collect welfare, and doesn’t rape white women?
A: An inmate.
Q: What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
A: Canoes tip.
Q: Why were wheelbarrows invented?
A: To teach blacks to walk on their hind legs.
Q: What is white and has a black asshole?
A: The Washington D.C. Mayor’s office.
Q: Hear about the new perfume for black women?
A: It’s called “Eau de doo dah day.”
Q: What’s the first thing taught in a ghetto driving school?
A: How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.
Q: What do you call a black midget in Ireland?
A: A lepra-coon.