Toe Fu (tofu)
Toe Fu (tofu)
You Know You Are From A Small Town When…
– The local phone book has only one yellow page.
– Third Street is on the edge of town.
– The “road hog” in front of you on Main Street is a farmer’s combine.
– You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it’s still there, on the same chair.
– You don’t signal turns because everyone knows where you’re going, anyway.
– No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
– You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
– Everyone knows all the news before it’s published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
– The McDonalds only has only one Golden Arch.
– A “Night on the Town” takes only 11 minutes.
– You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you’re from.
– Headline news is who grew the biggest vegetable this year.
– You can name everyone you graduated with.
– School gets canceled for state sporting events.
– Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
– Directions are given using “the” stop light as a reference
– It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
“I’m in the Mood for Larva (Love)” by Kate R. Pillar
“Leggy Sue” by Cent I. Pede
“Jump” by Gus Hopper
“You Bite (Light) Up My Life” by T.C. Fly
Yankee Noodle Dandy
It Had to be Stew
Of Tea I Sing
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat
Fry Me to the Moon
There’s No Business Like Dough Business
Auntie Em (& M)
The Wicked Sand-witch of the West
The Straw(berry) Man
Stew unto others…
Let’s berry the hatchet…
A starch in time saves nine…
Give me liver-ty or give me death…
Early to bread, early to rise…
And their favorite comics of all time:
Bean Martin and Cherry Lewis
(They’re reel good!)
The Pie-rates of Penzance
The Grape Muppet Caper
The Three Mustardteers
The Cod Father
The Bride of Frank ‘n’ Stein
Cherry-ots of Fire
20,000 Leeks Under the Sea
The Grapeful Dead
The Peach Boys
Hall and Oatesmeal
The Bean Gees
I Love Juicy
Mag-yum yum P.I.
Starchy and Hutch
Pork and Mindy
The Fats of Life
7 A.M.: Good Moan-ing America! on A-Boo-C
8 A.M.: Ghoul-igans Island
9 A.M.: Father Knows Beast
10 A.M.: Name That Tomb
11 A.M.: Squeal of Fortune
12 P.M.: Noose at Noon
1 P.M.: The Newly-dead Game
2 P.M.: The Broody Bunch
3 P.M.: Bury Manilow Spe-chill
6 P.M.: Entertainment Tomb-night
7 P.M.: Groaning Pains
8 P.M.: Dead of the Class
9 P.M.: Boonanza
10 P.M.: St. Else-scare
12 A.M.: Late Night with David Lettermoan
Little Boo Peep
Dr. Spook’s Advice
Moldy Lox and the Three Bears
Winnie the Boo
The Weirdzard of Oz
Tails of Peter Rabid
Massacre-chusetts – Don’t miss Booston!
Gory-gone – Right on the West Ghost! And don’t skip the Petrified Forest!
New Hexico – Plan to stay a spell!
Moantana – Truly terrifying scenery!
Wy-ooohhh-ming – Lots of moantains to climb!
New Hauntshire – Be sure to visit Discord, the capital city.
Don’t put the cat before the horse.
It takes one to show one.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a Manx healthy, wealthy, and wise.
No mews is good mews.
A stitch in time saves nine lives.
He who laps last laps best.
A rolling bone gathers no moss.
Mice guys finish last.
The Love Pug
The Gr-r-reat Gatsby
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kit
Cur-age of Lassie
Cur-eature form the Black Lagoon
The Pet and the Pendulum
The Invisible Manx
The French Poodle Connection