Category Archives: Lists

Lots of funny lists!

You Know You Are From A Small Town When…

You Know You Are From A Small Town When…

– The local phone book has only one yellow page.

– Third Street is on the edge of town.

– The “road hog” in front of you on Main Street is a farmer’s combine.

– You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it’s still there, on the same chair.

– You don’t signal turns because everyone knows where you’re going, anyway.

– No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

– You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

– Everyone knows all the news before it’s published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.

– The McDonalds only has only one Golden Arch.

– A “Night on the Town” takes only 11 minutes.

– You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you’re from.

– Headline news is who grew the biggest vegetable this year.

– You can name everyone you graduated with.

– School gets canceled for state sporting events.

– Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.

– Directions are given using “the” stop light as a reference

– It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.

Foodland’s Top Ten Movie Stars

Cheryl Lard

Rabbit Redford

Goldie Hen

Lauren Bagel

Barbra Streisandwich

Vincent Slice

Jane Fondue

Ingrid Burgerman

Pea Marvin

Beet Midler

And their favorite comics of all time:

Peter Fork

Bread Buttons

Joan Livers

David Steinburger

Lico-Rich Little

Phyllis Dill-Pickle

Bean Martin and Cherry Lewis

A Ghost’s TV Schedule

7 A.M.: Good Moan-ing America! on A-Boo-C

8 A.M.: Ghoul-igans Island

9 A.M.: Father Knows Beast

10 A.M.: Name That Tomb

11 A.M.: Squeal of Fortune

12 P.M.: Noose at Noon

1 P.M.: The Newly-dead Game

2 P.M.: The Broody Bunch

3 P.M.: Bury Manilow Spe-chill

6 P.M.: Entertainment Tomb-night

7 P.M.: Groaning Pains

8 P.M.: Dead of the Class

9 P.M.: Boonanza

10 P.M.: St. Else-scare

12 A.M.:  Late Night with David Lettermoan

Great Places to Haunt

Massacre-chusetts – Don’t miss Booston!

Gory-gone – Right on the West Ghost!  And don’t skip the Petrified Forest!

New Hexico – Plan to stay a spell!

Moantana – Truly terrifying scenery!

Wy-ooohhh-ming – Lots of moantains to climb!

New Hauntshire – Be sure to visit Discord, the capital city.