Category Archives: The Squacklecast

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Squacklecast Episode 23 – “Episode 23.14159265359”

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This entry is part 23 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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Happy Pi/Pee Day, everyone.

There is this video that Billy was talking about, I don’t know why I even watched it as it was kind of terrible.

I go on a rant about month-long commemorative holidays, similar to an opinion article I wrote in the past.

Month long Zombie Awareness Month is this coming May 2015!  Also, Month-Long-Holiday Awareness Year starts this year and every year before and after.

We start talking about Star Trek and Star Wars all of a sudden, not sure why, which leads into Interstellar.  This is the video Billy talks about where the author of the book The Prestige says Chris Nolan only has a couple of good movies:

Then we go into the different movies Nolan has made and how he is as a general filmmaker nowadays.

Nolan’s Memento is similar in structure to Irreversible, according to Billy.

We finish out the Nolan discussion and then talk about Gotham a little bit.  Gotham pretty much jumped the shark the first episode.

fishmooneyspooning

Then we go into where Gotham is actually supposed to be located.  We talk about this map on comicvine, which may or may not be canon:

We also talk about Agent Carter, as well.  And then we go into the Superman movies and how Superman 2 was cut in two different ways.

For some reason I saw Da Hip Hop Witch before any of the Superman movies (yet to see) or probably even the Rocky movies.  We talk about Da Hip Hop Witch a little bit, too.

We talk about how crap movies like Da Hip Hop Witch is able to get on Netflix and inspect the process of actually getting on Netflix insofar as a Google Search can tell us.

Squackle: The Movie? I guess it would just be my YouTube channel…

Pi ya’ll! See you in National Poetry Month!

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Squacklecast Episode 22 – “U Is My Luv”

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This entry is part 22 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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On this special Valentine’s Day episode of the Squacklecast, we take a hard look at what makes Valentine’s Day tick in our personal lives.  A hate for Candy Hearts and no luck with girls doesn’t prevent us from giving you, our listeners, the very best in dating advice that one can offer when they have absolutely no success or experience in dating.

gross
gross

We talk about what sort of pictures you may encounter or want to have on your dating profile, and what sorts of things an unsuccessful profile (dave’s) has.  We also talk about what things NOT to say when you are “flirting” with a potential match.

Taking pictures at the DMV is also covered.

DMV
DMV

A couple of crazy work stories are also mentioned.  Some random customer wanted to “track down” Kevin Smith, the director, and call him on the phone or something to get him to do something.

Kevin Smith’s movie Tusk is discussed a little bit.  And we talk about Mike Tyson as an actor, as well as a little bit about the movie Enemy with Jake Gyllenhaal.

We take a Buzzfeed quest for some god-awful reason.  Candy Corn vs. Candy Hearts debate.  Candy Corn tastes like “not even a good eraser” and Candy Hearts are just compacted chalk.

There is also a “poo physics” lesson.  More Transformers/Michael Bay confusion.

Media, The Squacklecast

Squacklecast Episode 21 – “The Week-Late Year-End Review”

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This entry is part 21 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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Hey everybody!

We recorded a “Year-End Review” Squacklecast towards the end of 2014.  Then things happened and I didn’t have a chance to post it!  So now you can listen to something we recorded two weeks ago!  How cool is that?

We talk about what was good about 2014, I think.  We also talk about the Sony hacks a little bit, The Interview, Phase 2 of the Marvel movies, The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies, and some other stuff.

We also rank all of the Hobbit movies and the Lord of the Rings movies.  We also talk about Star Trek.
Sorry it was so late and I don’t even have pictures cause I was so lazy!

Okay fine, this one, I liked:

James-Franco-in-The-Interview_article_story_large

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Squacklecast Episode 20 – “The Empire Skypes Back”

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This entry is part 20 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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HEY WHATS THIS??  It is a new Squacklecast.

When I was naming this episode, I thought I was so clever, calling it “The Empire Skypes Back” due to our issues with Skype that we had during the recording that I discovered this little gem:

 

 

Anyway, this Squacklecast we had the Unnamedhero, also known as “Ed”– who has been mysteriously writing some game reviews for Squackle — on the show as a guest.

We principally talked about three teasers.

The Jurassic World Teaser:

The Star Wars Teaser:

Terminator Genniysisieriguiowt:

 

We ended it probably earlier than we wanted and having to repeat the same things over and over than we’d like, but at least we got the point across that Dino Lord shouldn’t sport the ‘stache in whatever next movie he does.

Until next time, folks!

Media, The Squacklecast

Squacklecast Episode 19 – “The 18th 15th Anniversary Special Edition”

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This entry is part 19 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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October 18 is Squackle’s Anniversary!!!!!!!!  It is now 15 years old!!!!  Holy shit, does anyone even care???

As a special celebration, special guest and special friend of Squackle.com, Charlie Sheen is with us today for a special Squacklecast!

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The following is also talked about:

Halloween and Halloween movies.  We go over Rotten Tomatoes’ list of Halloween movies.

Great Pumpkin

South Park’s newest season.

Black Dynamite was mentioned.

Old Cartoons, like Wacky Races, and other 60’s/70’s-era cartoons, as well as Tom & Jerry.

Tom & Jerry was recently remade, if you weren’t aware, so we started talking about bringing back older cartoons as new series, such as:

The 2011 Thundercats. Masters of the Universe the movie and that newer Masters of the Universe show.

If I could bring back a show for a reboot, it would be Street Sharks.   Make it live action!!  WHY NOT.  Swat Kats would also be cool, wouldn’t it?

Street Sharks
Street Sharks

Or rebooting Reboot.

We also dote upon the history of wiping after pooping.

The Random Wikipedia Article of the day is this thing:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Sindhi_festivals

Also, kids in movies (and life) suck.

I Hate Children
I Hate Children

 

Mauvais sang is one of those movies we watched in film class.

We also review our current Netflix Queues and how we tackle our movie viewing schedules.

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Thanks ya’ll!  15 years down the drain.  Here’s to the next 15 years.

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Squacklecast Episode 18 – “Leaked Avengers Comic Con Video”

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This entry is part 18 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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This episode we talk about that LEAKED AVENGERS COMIC CON VIDEO you have heard all about!!!!!

There’s also talk of Guardians of the Galaxy, movies from 1995, and several other fantastic things, like all of the things you see in the following pictures:

guardians-galaxy-650-430 Internet_in_1995_1 Nicole-Kidman-Batman-Forever-promo-shoot-nicole-kidman-and-naomi-watts-aussie-bffs-15062945-618-768

See you next time!!!!

Media, The Squacklecast

Squacklecast Episode 17 – “Sexy Asian Girl Feet”

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This entry is part 17 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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This episode we talk about sexy Asians and how cute their feet are.  We also talk about all of these hot Asian girls in this post here:

sexyasiangirls

Sexy Asian Girl
Sexy Asian Girl
Sexy Asian Girl Feet
Sexy Asian Girl Feet

 

Sexy Asian Girl 2
Sexy Asian Girl 2

And we talk about X-Men: Days of Future Past.

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Squacklecast Episode 16 – “The 1.5 Year Hiatus”

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This entry is part 16 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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Welcome to what could be said is “Season 2” of the Squacklecast!

The main things to link here are:

 

We talked about lots of other stuff, like:

The Coachella line up.

Facebook buying Oculus

The Avengers, X-Men, and Spider-Man movies, as well as the DC comic book properties.

There’s toooo many Whedon’s on my lawn!

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See ya guys next year!

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Squacklecast Episode 15 – “Crappy Movies Under the Stars”

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This entry is part 15 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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Hey folks!  We’re back after a mini-hiatus.  We failed at coaxing our only previous guest from attending this podcast, so we catch up with the freelancing gig I’m doing tomorrow instead.

And it looks like its going to be a disaster!  Just like the rest of this week’s episode… full of technical problems!  Technically the problem is davepoobond.  (Get it?)

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Billy watched The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2.

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Total Recall (the new one) sucked balls.  I didn’t see it yet, but its just an example of dumbing down and mainstreaming the source content for no apparent reason.

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Len Wiseman is a terrible director.  Fuck that guy.  He’s going to ruin the Mummy reboot, just like he ruined Total Recall.

The new Mummy should be in space.

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Guess I know what’s going on my shelf in the near future!

 

Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story

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Wouldn’t you do Red Sonja back in the day?

Brigitte Nielsen as Red Sonja

What about Maria Shriver?

Maria Shriver Looks Like Predator

I think I know which Arnold Schwarzenegger movie counterpart I’d do.  And that would be the predator — that mouth is so sexy.

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Deep Space Nine introduces a character named Vic Fontaine halfway through Season 6.  There is… A LOT of singing.  For no apparent reason.  They just hang out there a lot for no particular reason.

Vic Fontaine

They couldn’t think of anything better?

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iPhone 5 came out this past week.  Did I get one?  No.  Will I get one?  Maybe.  The maps suck on it though.

iPhone 5

Who woulda thought upgrading to iOS 6 Maps would be about as useful as that Fox News app?

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Who’s going to make the world’s first nutritional supplement replicator?  Apple or Google?

I say Apple.

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First thing I’m going to do with that new Replicator thinger is replicate some alcohol to put in my piss and sell it.

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So, how much would you pay for the Crappy Movies Under the Stars Film Festival?  HMMMMM???

Media, The Squacklecast

Squacklecast Episode 14 – “An Eternity of Dog Food Commercials”

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This entry is part 14 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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Welcome to the “try-weekly” episode of the Squacklecast.  This week we talk about this super sappy and emotional dog food commercial that will make anyone have a tear come to their eye because they’ve been puking their guts out at how much it makes you sick:

Another thing, is that they’re preparing Mac and Cheese for this asshole hours before he even gets home.

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Imagine getting out of your car one day, closing the door, and seeing a huge dog all of a sudden appear in front of you.

Mean Dog

OH SHIT!

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Wouldn’t you like to live forever?  It would give you enough time to finish off all of the Star Trek series before passing onto the next world, after all.

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If there’s one, two, or three movies you need to see before you die, it would be the 3 Ninjas series, with High Noon at Mega Mountain being the best.

It features a dangerous course full of fire built by a decrepit old man for his grandsons.  I think that constitutes as child endangerment.  Good thing he dies.  Whoops, spoiler.

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Surf Ninjas was pretty awesome too.  Here’s the others we were talking about:

Santa’s Slay

Santa with Muscles

ThanksKilling

Next Squacklecast, we’ll talk about more movies on our Netflix queues…

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What I learned from World of Warcraft is:  “You don’t have something until you have it.”  It’s a life lesson.  Or something.

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Ras Al Ghul from Batman Begins became an eco-terrorist with his eternity of time to live.

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Total Recall (the real one) foretells a time of three-titted babes on Mars.  I can’t wait to live there during my fifth lifetime.

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Curiosity is just using Instagram filters to take its pictures of Mars.  Behold.

Before Instagram (aka before being cool):

Curiosity Taking a Picture of Mars

After Instagram (aka now its cool):

Curiosity Taking an Instagram of Mars

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Facebook City?  Also known as Las Vegas…

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Jonathan Frakes kind of overacts during his “Riker-focused” episodes in Star Trek.  Here’s a select few where he’s always trying to bang a chick, a job once reserved for a Captain, now given to the Second-in-Command.:

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See you guys next month!!!  GET ITTTT???!?!?!?

Media, The Squacklecast

Squacklecast Episode 13 – “About the Olympics or Something”

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This entry is part 13 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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The Squacklecast is back from yet another hiatus to recap the Olympics!  Well, only some parts of it.

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The best highlight of the Olympics?  Of course that goes to Carmelo Anthony receiving a nut punch.

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Soccer on the international level is grade A bullshit.  No wonder the whole world loves it because they’re a bunch of fucking idiots.  America doesn’t like soccer because its fucking dumb!!!!

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Ryan Lochte is a good looking guy… and then he opens his mouth…

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And this is the Funny or Die we mentioned.  I didn’t think it was that great, but it serves to illustrate our point about Mr. Lochte.

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This Danny Boyle guy should never touch another Olympic event ever.

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Spice World is a great campy movie.  It has a lot of popular cameos of famous UK actors/singers.

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It From the Pit will be a new Olympics game, I can feel it.

It From the Pit Box

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The Pile Driver with the guy’s face in the other guy’s underwear.

Pile Driver In Underwear

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The 2012 Icons are pretty shitty.  They should just put words instead of stupid stick figures, wouldn’t you say?

2012 Olympic Sports Logos–

Well, that’s that!  Finally we can get back to our normal programming on NBC that I already don’t watch.

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Squacklecast Episode 12 – “It’s Not a Car. It’s a Squacklecast.”

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This entry is part 12 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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BE ADVISED:  THERE ARE DARK KNIGHT RISES SPOILERS IN THIS PODCAST!  DO NOT PLAY IT IF YOU CARE TO WATCH THE MOVIE

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This week we talk about Dark Knight Rises!

IT’S NOT A CAR!!!!

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Dark Knight Rises took a couple of queue’s from the 1960’s Batman for the main “threat” apparently…

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Bane’s computer of choice is the flipscreen netbook.  Not really that impressive or futuristic…

Flip Netbook

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Dark Knight Rises… wait a minute, I’ve seen this movie before… its just Rocky III!

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Why didn’t the ships in Star Trek just launch warp cores as weapons instead of puny photon torpedoes?

That was the best video I could find of Star Trek explosions.

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That’s all for this week, folks!  If you’d like to be on next week’s podcast, let us know!

Media, The Squacklecast

Squacklecast Episode 11 – “Team Cruise vs. Team Jesus”

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This entry is part 11 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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Hey everyone!  Did you like the new rap song I made?  Dinosaur Habitat and DJ Davy A are my alternate nicknames for music creation.

–

Anyway, this week we scratch the surface of the Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise marriage split!

5 Years is a long time for a marriage that wasn’t going to work.

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Just what the hell is scientology?  Something that breaks apart marriages, obviously (see above).  That’s all I could understand from the Wikipedia article.

What is Scientology?

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Mormonism?  You get your own planet?  I don’t know if that’s right…

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In heaven, everyone wears these awesome fire kicks:

Fire Kicks

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Rock of Ages lost money, no shocker there.

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Tom Cruise a short lumpy lookin guy, huh?

SmallTom

Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder

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Who wouldn’t want to watch the chaos that ensues around Katie Holmes life when there’s a boring reality show about Clint Eastwood’s wife and daughter, not even with him in it.

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Ringer was canceled after a season.

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Jim Carrey dropped out of the Farrelly brother’s latest movie.  Wait, how do you say Farrelly?  Peter Far-LEE? Bobby Far-Re-Lee?

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Magic Mike makes male stripping look cool…?

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More Tyler Perry bashing this week.  Wait, someone recorded that Madea bullshit as stage plays and thought it was good enough to make it into a movie?  They couldn’t see that it was shitty before they spent money on making it?

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Fur-assic Park is my Jurassic Park parody.

Anne Frank: Not Remembered Too Well is the first movie featuring the grandpa from the Fur-assic Park movie.

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Who said anything about DATING Katie Holmes?  I’d just do her and call it a life.

Katie Holmes

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Buff Bagwell will be my choice to play Tom Cruise on the made-for-TV movie about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.

Buff Bagwell

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See ya next week!

Media, The Squacklecast

Squacklecast Episode 10 – “The Art of Covering Shifts”

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This entry is part 10 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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This week we become overly insensitive assholes (moreso than usual?  Or maybe not at all!) and lambast a girl over the 70+ e-mails that she has sent out in the past 6 months regarding shift covers.  It is truly an art form in itself when you have TO GUILT TRIP YOUR WHOLE DEPARTMENT INTO COVERING SHIFTS FOR YOU.  Not to mention it is your “second” job which only gives you at most 4 to 8 hours a week!

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There aren’t that many trailers or pictures that apply to this week’s podcast, so here’s a link to the pictures section so you can laugh while you laugh.

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This is the real cancer we were talking about, obviously:

Cancer Constellation

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Squacklecast Episode 9 – “We Make Them Only to Kill Them”

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This entry is part 9 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

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Summer movies are in full swing, and this time we take a look at Prometheus as well as the upcoming summer schedule of movies.  Its a big year for super heroes but not much else to get excited about.

WARNING: THERE ARE SOME PROMETHEUS SPOILERS!  You can skip to about a third of the way through and skip all the Prometheus stuff if you care.

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Prometheus is a film that raises more questions than answers, like:  “Why would you kill Charlize Theron?” and “Why didn’t we see that scene with Charlize getting it up the butt from the big black dude?”

And there’s also all that hullabaloo about the origins of man and the beginnings of the Xenomorphs, but that’s all secondary.

Inception noise?  Meet your match:  PROMETHEUS NOISE!

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Adam Sandler is intentionally making shitty movies.  Its the only explanation.  He just needs to stick with family comedies and dramatic movies, apparently.

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This summer has a list of movies it wants to murder, and its gotten a few of them already:

Battleship: Sunk

The Dictator: Assassinated

Dark Shadows: Black Eye

Chernobyl Diaries: Nuked

Prometheus: Hospitalized (In the baby ward)

That’s My Boy: Murdered

Rock of Ages: Murdered

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: Pending Assassination

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Brave is another one of those Pixar movies that I’ll probably just hate.  I hate more Pixar movies than I do like them, apparently.

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Owen Wilson:  I don’t like his voice, and I don’t like his face.

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Finding Nemo had the worst characters of any Pixar movie ever.

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The Good Dinosaur is probably just The Good Shepherd but with real dinosaurs, not people you could call dinosaurs.

Its actually worse than that.  It has Lil’ Wayne in it.

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Pixar has an impressively boring list of upcoming movies.

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Magic Mike has Channing Tatum in it.  Like, OH EM GEE.

Directed by Steven Soderbergh, no less.

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How does Tyler Perry keep making movies?  He’s like Adam Sandler but successful.

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Katy Perry: Part of Me: Pending Stage Collapse

Savages: Dead on Arrival

Step Up Revolution: Someone Will Step Down (In the government.  Get it? Revolution?  Government?  Step Down?)

The Watch: Legally murdered.  Maybe.

Total Recall: Unfortunate Death Due to Lack of References.  Please resubmit an application.

Expendables 2: Expendable (get it?)

ParaNorman: Already Dead

Resident Evil: Retribution: Been Dead

Sean Bean: Died 20+ times.  Save Sean Bean!

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That’s it for this week, folks.  Hope you like our rudimentary coverage of what’s to come for this summer in the movies.

If you want to be on the Squacklecast, let us know!  We can schedule you for an interview and you can hang out with us for an hour.