Tag Archives: grandma

Nom Nom Apocalypse (PC) Review

Developer/Publisher: Deadleaf Games || Overall: 7.5/10

Overview:

Nom Nom Apocalypse is a shooter roguelite. It tries to mimic some titles that came before it, such as Nuclear Throne, Enter the Gungeon, and others. However, unlike the superior examples in this genre, Nom Nom Apocalypse comes up a bit short in the excitement factor.

Graphics:

There are a lot of food-themed monsters and the art is actually pretty charming at times. The bosses are all very unique, like a stack of pancakes that shoots butter bombs, a bacon monster, and what I guess is a very mutated pile of mashed potatoes. There is a lot of imagination when it comes to the enemy design and most of the player characters give you a “50’s diner” feel, although there are things like a Sushi chef that feel more contemporary. The levels are nicely detailed and aren’t boring to look at.

Sound:

The sound is ok. The gun effects are nice, but the music is basically the same couple of tracks over and over as you’ll be hitting up the same levels over and over. The first level is always the same, but there seems to be some randomness in which order you progress from there.

Gameplay:

The goal is to get through five different areas for a complete run. You’ll find a multitude of diversely themed weapons along the way, many of which kind of do the same thing as each other or have no appreciably noticeable perk that affects your actual monster-killing. At times the fighting can get pretty hectic and you’ll need to use the terrain well enough to avoid damage.

The levels seem to be a combination of procedural and randomized. There are some rooms that look constructed and never change (such as boss rooms and vending machine rooms), but it feels like the other normal levels change the objects enough so it doesn’t often feel like you’ve seen that exact layout previously.

Crappiest Part:

The rooms are too big for what goes on in the game; they should have been reduced considerably. On top of that, most guns are too weak/take too many shots to kill enemies. If they tightened up these two mechanics in the game, it could have been less frustrating for me.

There will often be times where there is one enemy left and you can’t find them in the large room. It especially sucks when you have to run around for ten seconds AFTER you clear the room to get to the next room, and sometimes its hard to find the right way to go because the minimap is zoomed in and doesn’t show the whole room. The minimap isn’t as useful as it could be as a result.

Conclusion:

Nom Nom Apocalypse ends up being an okay game with great enemy design. The developers really took the food concept as far as it could go in many aspects, so props there. There’s also 4 player co-op available, which is a nice feature for when you’ve got your great-grandma, great-grandpa, and great-great-grandma over, because they love video games.

Jingle Bells Song #24438

Dashing through the snow
On a broken pair of skis
Oh no I’m heading for the tree
As I go to stand up I realize
I have just broken my knees

The snow is turning red
I think I’m almost dead
I spent my Christmas Eve
In a stupid hospital bed

OH
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Grandma had a gun
pulled the trigger
and lost her finger in 1981

Hey!

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Grandma had a gun
pulled the trigger
and lost her finger in 1981

Hey!

Dream #23034: The Moon Blew Up

I wrote this in 2002.

I had a dream that I was out in the desert or something. The sand was red and there weren’t any trees, but big rocks every so often. There were a lot of people there, and there were a lot of houses. I wasn’t too far from my house. I looked up at the moon (which was very close). It was really hot, and the moon turned around pretty fast, and it looked the same except it had its own “red eye storm” like Jupiter. It’s kind of hard to describe. Anyway I pointed it out to my mom, and she said “that’s normal, they throw all our trash up there, you know?”

I thought “hmm, all that plastic up there is burning making it hot down here…” It seemed like it was raining fire from the moon. All of a sudden, it blew up. Everyone started screaming and went back inside their homes. After the moon rocks fell, I went over to my friends house, and there was my Grandma. She said his family wasn’t there because my friend was at the hospital. She pointed out the window shutters on the window, and said something about how cheap they were because a rock fell through. Then she disappeared.

Then it rained rocks again.  Afterwards, I was crying and I turned on the TV. To get my mind off everything, I turned on the TV and watched cartoons, while there was another TV with the news on. It had a bunch of people talking about the moon blowing up, and how it was more horrible than September 11. The rocks fell again all of a sudden for the last time. I went outside to see what happened, and there were a lot of people on hospital beds, screaming because trash and rock shot into their body.

I woke up then. What a weird dream. I could barely describe it all. You should’ve dreamed it yourself…to truly understand.

Squacklecast Episode 10 – “The Art of Covering Shifts”

This entry is part 10 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

This week we become overly insensitive assholes (moreso than usual?  Or maybe not at all!) and lambast a girl over the 70+ e-mails that she has sent out in the past 6 months regarding shift covers.  It is truly an art form in itself when you have TO GUILT TRIP YOUR WHOLE DEPARTMENT INTO COVERING SHIFTS FOR YOU.  Not to mention it is your “second” job which only gives you at most 4 to 8 hours a week!

There aren’t that many trailers or pictures that apply to this week’s podcast, so here’s a link to the pictures section so you can laugh while you laugh.

This is the real cancer we were talking about, obviously:

Cancer Constellation