Tag Archives: shopping

Quote #23910

My self-summary

“I like to fuck guys”

I’m really good at

“Sex! What else?”

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

“Pornos, Enchiladas, I’m not a reader :(”

The six things I could never do without

“Sex, Lingere, Food, Men, Living, Breasts”

On a typical Friday night I am

“Watching pornos and eating chinese food. Also shopping w my girlfriends.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

Joke #18731

After a long day of shopping, my mother and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my mother there waiting for me.

“Mom,” I said, “what are you doing in here? I left the motor running.”

“It’s all right, dear,” she replied reassuringly. “I locked the doors.”

Joke #18719

When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen.

But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents’ private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.

“Yes!” the 4-year-old said, “and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!”

Joke #5317

There was a brunette mother who had two teenage blonde daughters.  She asked them if they could paint the house while she went shopping.

They both agreed, and right before the mother left the house, she asked them not to get their clothes dirty. So then she took off, and the two blondes obeyed their mother by taking off their clothes so they wouldn’t get them dirty.

Then when they were about halfway done, they heard a knock on the door, so without opening the door, they asked who it was, and the person on the other side answered “the blind man.”  So the two blondes thought, ok, he’s blind, he cant see anything…so they opened the door and the blind man said, “nice tits, ladies, but where do you want the blinds?”