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Hey everyone! Did you like the new rap song I made? Dinosaur Habitat and DJ Davy A are my alternate nicknames for music creation.
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Anyway, this week we scratch the surface of the Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise marriage split!
5 Years is a long time for a marriage that wasn’t going to work.
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Just what the hell is scientology? Something that breaks apart marriages, obviously (see above). That’s all I could understand from the Wikipedia article.
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Mormonism? You get your own planet? I don’t know if that’s right…
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In heaven, everyone wears these awesome fire kicks:
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Rock of Ages lost money, no shocker there.
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Tom Cruise a short lumpy lookin guy, huh?
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Who wouldn’t want to watch the chaos that ensues around Katie Holmes life when there’s a boring reality show about Clint Eastwood’s wife and daughter, not even with him in it.
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Ringer was canceled after a season.
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Jim Carrey dropped out of the Farrelly brother’s latest movie. Wait, how do you say Farrelly? Peter Far-LEE? Bobby Far-Re-Lee?
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Magic Mike makes male stripping look cool…?
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More Tyler Perry bashing this week. Wait, someone recorded that Madea bullshit as stage plays and thought it was good enough to make it into a movie? They couldn’t see that it was shitty before they spent money on making it?
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Fur-assic Park is my Jurassic Park parody.
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Who said anything about DATING Katie Holmes? I’d just do her and call it a life.
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Buff Bagwell will be my choice to play Tom Cruise on the made-for-TV movie about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.
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See ya next week!