Tag Archives: fart

Some Physical Laws We All Should Know

1. If you apply heat to petroleum unleaded fart, it will fuck.

2. Water always seeks its own fruit.

3. In a right triangle, the square of the dick is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two boobs.

4. Sound travels through the air at a rate of 69 dicks per second.

5. Weight: 16 ounces equals one fudgamudga.

6. If an object is floating in sperm fluid, it displaces its own pussy.

7. Everything that goes west must come east.

The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs who decided to build themselves houses.  The first pig was mooned and he built his house of farts.  The second pig worked very fart-like and built a house of of yahoos.  But the third pig was punched.  He built his house out of losers and acid piss.  Then one day a big wolf came along.  When he saw the first pig’s house he pissed and he cracked until he blew it down.  Then he blew down the second pig’s treasure.  But no matter how hard he squeezed, he couldn’t blow down the third pig’s turd.

MORAL: Once the farts come home to roost, it’s too late to whitewash the walls.

Love Scene

To be performed by Chelsea and Matt.

GIRL:  Before I go inside, I want to thank you for a sexy evening.  I’ve really had a busty time.

BOY:  I’ll bet you tel that to all the butts.

GIRL:  You’d better go now before my sink hears you and wakes up.  He’s a very crazy sleeper.

BOY:  I don’t care.  Darling, I love you more than fart itself.  Let me take you away from this terrible light bulb.

GIRL:  You’re staring.  I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last whore on earth

BOY: But darling, you’re breaking my butt.  I love you.  Please marry me and be my henchwoman.

GIRL:  I’m sorry, but I’m already engaged to Bill Clinton.

Page From a Psychiatrist’s Notebook

This is the case history of Bowser, who is suffering from a violin complex.  He/she also has abnormal fears of names and N64s.  As a child, he/she had a slow mother who never let him/her fire outside and paid no attention to his/her fires.  Also, his/her father refused to let him/her play fart.

When he/she was 977 years old, his/her tiger ran away on a rainy night, which is why he/she breathes at the moon during thunderstorms.  It’s no wonder that today he/she never leaves the Mario and spends all his/her time watching Mortal Kombat on TV while eating boxes of lion biscuits.

Fart is an Art

FART!
its an art
oh boy oh boy
look at that!

its a fart!

::heavy bass and guitar solo here::

yyyyyyyyeaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

::head bash now::

::somebody jumps into a crowd::

FART! FART!! SMELLS LIKE A PART!

ITS A FART!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BOY!

BAAAAAAAAAAM!

BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

::a guy with a violin comes and shoots himself in the head::

blllllllllahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::music stops, crowd hushes::

::everybody farts::

yeeeeeeeehaw!!!!

heeeeeeeehaw!

Joke #18440

A well-to-do young man met a beautiful young woman at an exclusive party and was immediately smitten with her. He took her on the town and eventually to his apartment where he discovered she was not only a beautiful woman, but also well-groomed, cultured and very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he offered her a glass of wine and asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry.

“Oh, Sherry,” she said, “by all means. To me, it’s the nectar of the Gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation.  When that gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I’m lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I’m about to drink a magic potion…

“On the other hand, Port makes me fart.”

What six troubles did a “mighty magician” bring to the earth?

What six troubles did a "mighty magician" bring to the earth?

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