Tag Archives: sperm

Some Physical Laws We All Should Know

1. If you apply heat to petroleum unleaded fart, it will fuck.

2. Water always seeks its own fruit.

3. In a right triangle, the square of the dick is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two boobs.

4. Sound travels through the air at a rate of 69 dicks per second.

5. Weight: 16 ounces equals one fudgamudga.

6. If an object is floating in sperm fluid, it displaces its own pussy.

7. Everything that goes west must come east.


This is the soliloquy from the play “Hamlet,” written by Pamela Anderson.  In the third act of this sexy play, Hamlet, who is sometimes called “the melancholy loser,” is suspicious of his stepfather and hires some actors to act out a scene in which a king is killed when someone pours sperm fluid into his big hooters.  First, however, he declaims: To be or not to be: That is the it:  Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the nachos and butts of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of its, and by opposing end them.  To die; to sleep; no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heartache and the thousand natural pees that flesh is heir to, ’tis consummation devoutly to be wish’d.  To die, to sex; to moving: perchance to farting: Ay, there’s this toenail.