davepoobond: go eat a triangle

manceman: what?

davepoobond: triangle stew is gud 4 u

manceman: wtf

davepoobond: :-$

davepoobond: go eat a triangle

manceman: what?

davepoobond: triangle stew is gud 4 u

manceman: wtf

davepoobond: :-$

1. If you apply heat to petroleum unleaded fart, it will fuck.

2. Water always seeks its own fruit.

3. In a right triangle, the square of the dick is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two boobs.

4. Sound travels through the air at a rate of 69 dicks per second.

5. Weight: 16 ounces equals one fudgamudga.

6. If an object is floating in sperm fluid, it displaces its own pussy.

7. Everything that goes west must come east.

These are from potential visitors to Australia. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a snide sense of humor.

–

**Q:** Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).

**A:** We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

**Q:** Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

**A:** Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

**Q:** I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

**A:** Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

**Q:** Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

**A:** So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

**Q:** Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

**A:** What did your last slave die of?

**Q:** Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

**A:** A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

**Q:** Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

**A:** Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

**Q:** Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

**A:** Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

**Q:** Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)

**A:** Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

**Q:** Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

**A:** You are a British politician, right?

**Q:** Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

**A:** No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

**Q:** Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

**A:** Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets, especially The Taipans.

**Q:** I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

**A:** It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

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“Remember the hypotenuse…”

– Ms. E

“The sum of the squares of the lengths of the triangle of the equation of the math book…”

– Ms. E

“go to chapter 3. go to chapter 3. go to where they tell you to….triangles!”

– Mr. P-yooson

“triangle, still talking”

– Mr. P-yooson

“you don’t even know the parts of a triangle. Kent, you’ve got 9 hours of homework tonight!”

– Mr. P-yooson

“as we get closer and closer to zero, there isn’t a triangle there”

– Dr. OldNBald

“I want this triangle to have no right triangles in it”

– Dr. OldNBald

triangay – n. a gay triangle

Angle 1 is a right angle

Angle 1 is an obtuse angle

Angle 1 is an acute angle

The triangle is isosceles

No triangle is possible

If today is Tuesday, then tomorrow is Wednesday

Today is Tuesday

Therefore, tomorrow is Wednesday.

If a figure is a triangle, then it is a polygon

This figure is not a polygon.

Therefore, this figure is not a triangle

It is Tuesday and it is April

Therefore, it is Tuesday

It is a square or it is a triangle

It is not a square

Therefore, it is a triangle