Board-Walk – Rules

Materials: Table, 2 pieces of wood long enough to reach the palm of your hands to your feet

# of Players: 2 or more

What You Do:

1. Put the wood on your feet

2. Hold the boards in place with your hands while walking as fast as you can

3. Get another person or more that would like to participate in a race with the boards on their feet, held in place by their hands

4. Get a table and race around it, for how many laps you want to do

5. Every 1/4 of a lap, you have to say “arr” like a pirate

6. First person to complete all the laps and say “arr” like a pirate 4 times each lap, wins!

Boundaries: The general area of the “race track”

  Board-Walk v1.0 (27.1 KiB, 1,337 hits)

The Squackle Sports Arena sport Board-Walk in game form.


Daggermitton: EXTREEME Badmitton! – Rules

Made in conjunction with stimpyismyname.

Materials: A line on the floor, 2 badmitton rackets, a birdie (badmitton or not)

# of Players: 2 or more

What You Do:

1. Draw a line on the floor if there isnt already one, and hold the rackets like a dagger, the racket part thingy facing down

2. Divide the teams up equally behind the lines

3. Decide who goes first. A light reconstruction of a bar brawl is a nice, friendly way to do it

4. Take the rackets, holding them downwards, dropping the birdie toward the floor. Flick the racket upwards at the birdie and get it over the line into the other team’s area.

5. Everytime the birdie falls into a team’s area, on the floor, the point goes to the other team

6. You are allowed to hit it anywhere on the other side of the line, no out of boundaries, since there are none

7. The team that was scored on get to serve, this is known as the “loser’s serve” rule

8. Your team may have a “bitch” to pick up the badmitton birdie and give it to the server

9. Optional: you can have a guy run up and start humping a random person in the game

10. Everytime someone acts like an idiot, you can throw your racket at them

11. You may go into the other team’s area for 3 seconds, to screw them up and get a point, after you hit it into their area. If you stay in for more than 3 seconds, the point goes to them and you lose one point

Boundaries: None, as long as you get the birdie over the line


EXTREME Kick The Can – Rules

Materials: 2 pairs of shoes, hands, feet, calculator, can

# of Players: 1 or more

What You Do:

1. Put your shoes on your hands and feet

2. Find a can and start kicking it around with your hands and ffet

3. Get it into a goal. A parking enterance kind of thingy is best

4. You get 1 point if you get it into a goal. 15 bonus points if you kick it into the parking enterance thingy and hit a car, and 30 if someone was in it.

5. If you break something with the can, you get 20 points. If you lose the can or break the can, you lose 500 points and have to find another one. If you don’t, you lose

6. You must always have shoes on your hands

Boundaries: None


Measuring Tape Fencing – Rules

Materials: Measuring tape, money, cauldron

# of Players: 2 for Duel Mode, 3 or more for Gang Bang Mode

What You Do:

1. Bet all your money into a cauldron

2. If you have a witch accessible, haver her stir the money around just to make noise, and have her ride her broom around too for a comical effect

3. Take your measuring tape (one per person) and extend it as far as you want, as long as everyone has the same length on theirs. 12 inch is the common extension of the tape

4. Start whacking each other, and if you hit them, it cuts off or cuts that part. If it is either your arm or leg, it cuts off, so you can’t use it. You instantly die if you head gets cut, and if you’re hit in a place that can’t not be used, take your free hand and hold it, like you’re in pain there

Boundaries: The room you’re in


Thunder Butts – Rules

Materials: Something to jump on

# of Players: 2 or more

What You Do:

1. Jump up and down on the thing you have to jump up and down on

2. Slam your butts together to knock the other person off the thing you’re jumping on

3. If you get knocked off, you lose

4. Last person left, wins

Boundaries: The thing you’re jumping on


Airplane Soccer – Rules

Materials: A working airplane, soccer balls

# of Players: At least 2 plus 2 referees, and a pilot

What You Do:

1. Take out all the seats in the airplane

2. Take off into the air, with the doors closed

3. While in the air, start playing soccer, and the 2 referees open the doors to the outside. Caution: The referees may die without proper precautions, like a parachute.

4. Kick the ball into the door on the other person’s side and out the door

5. If there is a goalie, they have to stand right next to the door and save the ball before it goes out

6. After 80 minutes of play, whoever has the most points or one team that is left alive, wins

Boundaries: The airplane


Pencil Wrestling – Rules

Materials needed: A pencil or a pen, a TV

# of players: 1 or more

What you do:

1. Watch any wrestling program long enough to know and memorize their moves

2. Take a pen or pencil

3. Start performing moves on the pencil or pen, with your hand. This is just a “warm up,” but since you cant really get to #4 all the time, you mainly do it with pencils by yourself

4. Now, get 2 friends, one to be your opponent and another to be referee

5. Start wrestling with your opponents hand like it was a pencil, or pen, or whatever you “warmed up” with.

6. “Pin” your opponent for 3 counts

7. You can have whole tournaments with all your friends!

Boundaries: The wrestling “rink” if there are any

Modes of Play:

Practice = 1 hand vs. pencil

1vs1 = 1 hand vs. 1 hand

Tag Practice = 2 hands vs. pencil

2vs1 = 2 hands vs. 1 hand

2vs2 = 2 hands vs. 2 hands

and so on…


Kill the Gnats! – Rules

Materials needed: Fly swatter, RV with a light on the outside

# of players: as many as you want

What you do:

1. Turn on the RV light for the outside

2. Wait until night, until a storm of gnats come and start buzzing around the light on your RV.

3. Start swatting them like mad, until they’re all dead.

4. Gnats are about 1/3 as “smart” as a fly, so they’re easy to kill. Have fun, and be ready for a big mess to clean up the next day…

Boundaries: None


High School Chair Thingy Twist – Rules

Materials needed: A lot of high school chair thingys with table attached to them, and make at least 2 rows of the same amount of chairs. The more rows you have, the more can play.

# of players: 2 or more

What you do:

1. After you get all the materials, have everybody playing sit in the first chairs in the row, only one person per row.

2. After someone says “go,” twist to the left/right and don’t let go of the table of the seat behind you and sit in that chair and then repeat until you get to the last chair as fast as you can.

3. Whoever gets into the last seat wins. This game is guaranteed to break your shoes and lots of “fun.” If you don’t get fun out of this, why do people wash windows and say, “It was fun?”

Boundaries: The general area of the row, meaning you can’t break out and run away from the game and still be in it


Sandwich Wall – Rules

Materials needed: 2 walls parallel to each other (its easier to play), a sandwich no one wants that is in a plastic bag

# of players: 2 or more

What you do:

1. Someone starts out with a sandwich and throws it against the wall.

2. After the sandwich hits the wall, it must hit another player before touching the ground. the player that gets hit then picks up the sandwich and does the same to another player.

3. Repeat until sandwich “explodes” out of bag (in other words, when sandwich comes out of the broken bag all crumpled and nasty).

4. No one really wins this game but its really fun.

Boundaries: The general area of the area you’re playing in


Battery Toss – Rules

Materials needed: battery, wall, hands

# of players: 2 or more

What you do:

1. Choose order of people

2. 1st player throws battery at wall, must be thrown underhand.

3. Has to hit above 7 feet high on the wall

4. 2nd player must catch battery before it hits the ground

5. Repeat until someone drops the battery, whoever drops the battery is out, then 1st player throws again, and keep going until another person gets out.

Boundaries: Each side is 10 yards, including the wall. everything out of the boundaries is out. 5 feet from the wall out is also out of bounds. the battery must fall inside boundary lines to be in. if the first player throws it and it goes out of bounds, he gets another chance, if it goes out again, he’s out. Last player to survive wins and gets to be 1st player of next game.


UPDATE 11-08-03

Pick of November 8, 2003

davepoobond: I don’t have any snappy comments today.  If you care, I’m working on the next 4 Gaytrix movie parodies, so there’s something to look forward to, when I put them up which will probably 2 years from now since that’s just how things go.

stuff updated/put up:

Dictionary – 3200 words, 50 new. SUBMIT A WORD

SongsPortaloo, sung to “Waterloo” by ABBA

The Screwed Up PeopleThe stereotypical female Volvo driver

The Screwed Up World File Sharing and the RIAA Theory

Stupid IMsAnonymous IM, Anonymous IM 2, urgirl3582 IM, davepoobond IM 26, davepoobond IM 27, davepoobond IM 28

Squackle GuidesHow to Preread a Textbook Chapter, How to Make a DVD, How to Get Orvillized, How To Make a Squackle Gang (New elements added!  HOORRAYYY)

Squackle Sports ArenaChicken Soup Bowling Rules, Extreme Baseball Rules, Annoy the Teacher Rules

The Bad Submission ArchiveBad Submission 121, Bad Submission 122, Bad Submission 123


UPDATE 2-6-03

davepoobond: yet another not-so-great update…but hey, its better than today’s episode of Home Improvement, eh eh?  anyone with me?  hello?

SoyBeans: just use that

stuff updated/put up:

Dictionary – 1750 words, 50 new. SUBMIT A WORD

Button Man Games – new games to download

Essays of DefinitionPeace


SongsJingle Bells Songs, Poop on My Finger, Popeye Songs

Submit To SquackleFan Mail Submission, Hate Mail Submission, The Fan Mail Archive, The Hate Mail Archive

The Fan Mail ArchiveFan Mail 1, Fan Mail 2

JokesQuicky Jokes, Knock Knock Jokes

Squackle Sports ArenaWhack It or Crack It Rules


UPDATE 2-4-03

davepoobond: ok this isn’t a very funny update, most is just a buncha junk that was submitted, and i finally got it up…so yeah..

SoyBeans: brb mom yelling..

stuff updated/put up:

Dictionary – 1700 words, 50 new. SUBMIT A WORD

Button Man Games – games to download

Squackle Broadcasting Company (SBC)PSA: Pornography, Commercial: Gay Spray, PSA: Don’t do Drugs (Please)

JokesQuicky Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Knock Knock Jokes

Squackle Sports ArenaShit Whack Rules, Redneck Tornado Surfing Rules

SongsJingle Bells Songs, Popeye Songs, Mary Had a Little Lamb Songs

Serious PoemsA Little Prayer

Stupid IMsZoeOnAOL IM

Squackle QuotesMovies, Misc. Quotes