All posts by davepoobond (DPB)

davepoobond of Squackle. Items under this user name are original works by davepoobond.
Find Your Name

Find Your Armenian Name

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First name: Take your street name, and take off the letters before the 1st vowel. If your street has a vowel in the beginning of the word, just take off all the letters before the 2nd vowel. If your street name is two words, make it one word.

Last name: Add “ian” to your first name (not the Armenian first name). If your name ends in a “i” or “y” just put “an” on the end. If it ends in a vowel add a “yan” to it instead. If it ends in a “ia” or “ya” just add “n”

Not everyone will have a good Armenian Name for this formula, but there are some pretty good ones that come out!

Leave a comment to tell us your Armenian Name!

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Armenian Names:

Armel Davidian (davepoobond)

Ibson Alanian (Evil Hell Cow)

Pect Dylanian (BALTAUR SAMA)

Ice Michaelanian

Esert Davidian (Redneck Reo)

Ak Jordanian (Soy Beans)

Oneglen Stimpyian (stimpyismyname)

Eland Elmoyan (elmoisfurry)

Ould Noseyan (Nose)

Essica Brooksian

Aigmoor Evanian (i like celery)

Iore Sherrisian

Ott Georgeyan (Holmes)

Ayfox Amandayan

Erson Alycian

Inden Stevenian

Ing Emmayan

Illery Steveyan

Ing Mikeyan

Anc Jessicayan

Orton Kellyan

Ent Hilaryan

An Danian

Aa Ardayan

Oreville Gingerian

Arlane Eugeneian

Itsy Sarahian

A Mikeyan

Ottonmouth Davidian

Haikaz Tombakian

Ilgrim Ekayan

Armene Hasmig Yapoujian

Inchester Kevinian

Stepan Tiratsuyan

Ifhorn Shaneyan

Unset Denayan

Amsgate Scottian

Am Fultonian

Oca Damienian

Idger Kimian

Lside Colinyan

Edar Marissayan

Ari Teseyan

Ethany Elizabethian

Eey Dylian

Ing Davidian

Estnut Tayalian

ESSEY NANCYAN

Er Jefferyan

Ission Annetteyan

Aven Lisayan

Osh Jian

Hovsep Gasparysn

Unnyhill Jessician

Eland Paulian

Ilton Wayneyan

Aci Lacian

Anterbury Jessicayan

Ercer Scottian

Kantarian

Obert Amandayan

Chbridge Emmayan

Inney Mckinneyan

Quotes

Mrs. DYKE Conversation: Puppies

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Note: this didn’t really happen, this is just what we think she would say if we talked to her

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davepoobond: “hello Mrs. DYKE! do you like puppies?”

Mrs. DYKE: “why, yes, I was taking a shower for 15 minutes and I thought about a puppy!”

davepoobond: “….”

(Mrs. DYKE sticks her tongue out and bites it)

davepoobond: “ew!”

Mrs. DYKE: “did you do your Regional Studies homework?”

davepoobond: “…no!”

Mrs. DYKE: “why NOT!!??!!?”

davepoobond: “my parents threw out the newspaper already. I don’t want to make a ‘current events wall’ anyway!”

Mrs. DYKE: “You don’t like my idea????”

davepoobond: “Hell no, bitch”

(end)

Lists

You Know You’re Sick When…

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You know you’re sick when…

– you vomit and the vomit mysteriously spells, “fart.”

– you are butt-fucking a goat in the backyard while your mom and the whole neighborhood is watching you, regularly.

– you watch, “I Love Lucy” and fall in love with Ricky and the way he bongs on his bongos and can’t stop thinking how he’d bong your bongos.

– you think the Home Alone Series is intellectual and educational, and your favorite part is when Kevin’s mom screams.

– you have the game “Shaq-Fu” for SEGA Genesis

– you say “cheek cheeky boom boom” when you get arrested when they say, “whatever you say can and will be used in a court of law.”

– you get up in the morning and feel like reading the Encyclopedia Brittanica from A-Z with all the special issues and add-ons for the 5th time in 3 days.

– you throw marshmallows at someone you have a crush on

– you play Bingo with yourself and shout, “BINGO!!” when you get it, you also live with 4 friends that now think your crazy.

– you think a cool thing to do is to dangle a cap from a string and hypnotize people.

– you think walking into a church naked is a funny prank, but even better, is walking into a nudist’s church with clothes on.

– you eat your intestine as a bedtime snack.

– you stick pencils up every hole in your body and run through town, naked, with the pencils in your holes, screaming, “I’m a walrus!”

– you get bees up your pants regularly.

– you pelt yourself, and other people, with pudding every Sunday.

– you use “what is the name of your telephone number” for a pickup line.

– you beat dogs, just cause they show their butthole to the whole world and still “smile.”

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You know someone in your family is really sick when…

– the telephone rings and your teenaged daughter doesn’t feel well enough to run and answer it.

– you offer to take your wife shopping for a new dress and she doesn’t feel well enough to get of bed.

– you visit your mother-in-law and she’s too sick to even talk.

– you give away your tickets to the Super Bowl because you feel too ill to go to the game.

– your seven-year-old stays in the house all day and is good as gold.

– your teenaged son gives you back the keys to the car and tells you he’s going to bed instead of to the drive-in on Saturday night.

Lists

30 Things to Do With a Paper Bag

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Not all of this is too funny, because it was an assignment at school.

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1. Put your lunch in it

2. Blow in it then pop it

3. Put it over your head and make eye holes in it

4. Suffocate someone

5. Write on it

6. Rip it and use it as a bookmark

7. Put something heavy in it and chuck it at someone’s head

8. Lick it and put it on your head so it’ll stick

9. Make a bracelet

10. Litter with it

11. Watch it

12. Use it as a parachute

13. Put things in it

14. Put dog poo in it and toss it at a house after putting it on fire

15. Torch it

16. Put it in your fireplace to burn

17. Give it to someone as a present (optional to have something in it)

18. Sit on it

19. Crumple it up and toss it at someone

20. Play catch with it

21. Blow your nose in it

22. Strangle someone

23. Make a face with it

24. Have conversations with it

25. Make it into a hat

26. Paint it

27. Put your pet lizard’s next meal in it

28. Put your neighbors bad kitty in the bag, staple it, then flush it down the toilet

29. Make a paper plane out of it

30. Wipe stuff off your shoes

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Annoy the Teacher – Rules

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Materials: something that makes an annoying sound

# of Players: 1, if organized attempt, 2 or more

What You Do:

1. Take the annoying noise making thing, and make noise with it every once in a while while the teacher has his/her back to you or something

2. Hell with it. Throw your chair at the teacher and run for your life

Boundaries: classroom. After throwing chair: none

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Chicken Soup Bowling – Rules

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Materials needed: bowling pins, large amounts of bowls of chicken soup

# of players: 1 or more

What you do:

1. the scoring is just like bowling, I don’t know how it is, so I can’t tell you how it is

2. take the chicken soup, and bowl it at the bowling pins

3. everytime you take a bowl at the bowling pins, you have to get a new bowl

4. after knocking down all the pins, put them back up and do it again.

Boundaries: The bowling alley, you must stay behind the bowling line to bowl, if you don’t you are disqualified from that throw

Download the computer game version of Chicken Soup Bowling here:

  Chicken Soup Bowling (202.4 KiB, 2,052 hits)

Chicken Soup Bowling from Squackle Sports Arena. Made by someone we don't know.

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Look At The Kleenex – Rules

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Materials: Kleenex boxes (1 is enough), tape

# of Players: 1

What You Do:

1. Take the Kleenex out of the Kleenex box, one by one and put tape on it, so that one end of the tape is hanging off the Kleenex

2. Put the Kleenex on the ceiling, walls and oors or whatever.

3. Lie down on whatever and look at the Kleenex

4. Optional: If you have supernatural powers or something like that (matches are fine), you can set fire to all the Kleenex and watch them burn. Its more interesting, but be careful, you may burn some stuff you didn’t want burned, burned. If you actually do this, this is what we have to say about you: “ha.” Oh, and another thing…don’t mention anything about reading it here. Didn’t think a game called “Look at the Kleenex” could be so dangerous, huh?

Boundaries: None

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Whack The Flutes – Rules

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Made in conjunction with elmoisfurry.

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Materials: A box (or more) of Chupa Chus, tape, string

# of Players: 1 (or more if more than just you does this)

What You Do:

1. Eat all the Chupa Chus you have. This may take a few days, or hours

2. Keep the sticks left over. These are your “flutes”

3. Get some tring, and get enough equal pieces for each flue you have. Tie the string so that the flute will hang from the string. Repeat until all of them are the same.

4. get some tape and stick it to the string, then onto the ceiling

5. When you are done, you can run through the room and whack all the flutes around or off the ceiling.

6. If there is more than 1 person playing, keep track of how many each player whacks down

Boundaries: The room you put the flutes in

Squackle Arcade, Squackle Sports Arena

Telephone Tag – Rules

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Materials: Parts of a telephone or a telephone itself, large areas are prefferable for this

# of Players: Recommended at least 6 people.

What You Do:

1. Figure out who is “it” in your own way

2. If you are “it” do whatever you can to get someone else “it”

These tactics can be used to get someone else “it”:

– Whack somone square in the face with the phone

– Swing the phone with a chord in the air, and whack them. If it is swung in a ciricular-way, its called “The Around The World” tactic

– Strangle someone with the phone chord, and slam them down to the floor

– Trick them by putting your voice on an answering machine and put it somewhere, playing it over and over then hitting them when they think you’re over there, and you hit hem however you like

Boundaries: The area you decide on for the game

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Hot Pudding – Rules

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Materials: Pudding

# of Players: Recommended at least 6 people.

What You Do:

1. Warm up the pudding, however you choose

2. Get everyone into a circle

3. Toss the pudding at people really really hard, so that i pops

4. Repeat until the pudding pops

5. Get some new pudding and repeat until one person is left

6. If you are the last person, you are the Hot Pudding Champion. if you lose, then you are the Hot Pudding LOSER (insert farting noises)

Boundaries: The general area of the circle

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Board-Walk – Rules

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Materials: Table, 2 pieces of wood long enough to reach the palm of your hands to your feet

# of Players: 2 or more

What You Do:

1. Put the wood on your feet

2. Hold the boards in place with your hands while walking as fast as you can

3. Get another person or more that would like to participate in a race with the boards on their feet, held in place by their hands

4. Get a table and race around it, for how many laps you want to do

5. Every 1/4 of a lap, you have to say “arr” like a pirate

6. First person to complete all the laps and say “arr” like a pirate 4 times each lap, wins!

Boundaries: The general area of the “race track”

  Board-Walk v1.0 (27.1 KiB, 2,604 hits)

The Squackle Sports Arena sport Board-Walk in game form.

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Daggermitton: EXTREEME Badmitton! – Rules

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Made in conjunction with stimpyismyname.

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Materials: A line on the floor, 2 badmitton rackets, a birdie (badmitton or not)

# of Players: 2 or more

What You Do:

1. Draw a line on the floor if there isnt already one, and hold the rackets like a dagger, the racket part thingy facing down

2. Divide the teams up equally behind the lines

3. Decide who goes first. A light reconstruction of a bar brawl is a nice, friendly way to do it

4. Take the rackets, holding them downwards, dropping the birdie toward the floor. Flick the racket upwards at the birdie and get it over the line into the other team’s area.

5. Everytime the birdie falls into a team’s area, on the floor, the point goes to the other team

6. You are allowed to hit it anywhere on the other side of the line, no out of boundaries, since there are none

7. The team that was scored on get to serve, this is known as the “loser’s serve” rule

8. Your team may have a “bitch” to pick up the badmitton birdie and give it to the server

9. Optional: you can have a guy run up and start humping a random person in the game

10. Everytime someone acts like an idiot, you can throw your racket at them

11. You may go into the other team’s area for 3 seconds, to screw them up and get a point, after you hit it into their area. If you stay in for more than 3 seconds, the point goes to them and you lose one point

Boundaries: None, as long as you get the birdie over the line

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

EXTREME Kick The Can – Rules

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Materials: 2 pairs of shoes, hands, feet, calculator, can

# of Players: 1 or more

What You Do:

1. Put your shoes on your hands and feet

2. Find a can and start kicking it around with your hands and ffet

3. Get it into a goal. A parking enterance kind of thingy is best

4. You get 1 point if you get it into a goal. 15 bonus points if you kick it into the parking enterance thingy and hit a car, and 30 if someone was in it.

5. If you break something with the can, you get 20 points. If you lose the can or break the can, you lose 500 points and have to find another one. If you don’t, you lose

6. You must always have shoes on your hands

Boundaries: None

Squackle Sports Arena, Squackle Arcade

Measuring Tape Fencing – Rules

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Materials: Measuring tape, money, cauldron

# of Players: 2 for Duel Mode, 3 or more for Gang Bang Mode

What You Do:

1. Bet all your money into a cauldron

2. If you have a witch accessible, haver her stir the money around just to make noise, and have her ride her broom around too for a comical effect

3. Take your measuring tape (one per person) and extend it as far as you want, as long as everyone has the same length on theirs. 12 inch is the common extension of the tape

4. Start whacking each other, and if you hit them, it cuts off or cuts that part. If it is either your arm or leg, it cuts off, so you can’t use it. You instantly die if you head gets cut, and if you’re hit in a place that can’t not be used, take your free hand and hold it, like you’re in pain there

Boundaries: The room you’re in