Tag Archives: school

Quote #22691

“Im going to college to become a preschool teaching trying to become a preschool teacher thats my passion and my profession.I like to go the computer and watch tv and watch movies too and I love to go swim.
I dont act like anybody else or be something Im not.I like all kinds types of music except Jazz.I like to go partying and drinking just have a good time. And I love beer and I love to smoke weed and hookah. I want to just to find nice,good and sweet,kind gentle man guy.Ive never been to a rave or strip club yet at all.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

The Secrecy of Knowing Nothing: The Destruction of Cal State Emptierton

There once was a man who knew literally nothing.  He would go to work, sit in his chair, stare at the wall for 8 hours, and then go back home and stare at the wall for another 16 hours.  He didn’t sleep because he can’t dream because he has nothing to dream about because he knows nothing, like I said earlier.

He was literally paid to stare at a wall and make sure it did not fall down.  There wasn’t even any paint to watch peel off or dry because it was literally just a wall.  This man, named Gabriel Nosenovich, was good at his job, as dumb as it may seem to you.  He did do other things, though.  He had a desk, with a phone, and a pad of paper.

He would receive work orders from other parts of the campus and write down what was requested to be done at the school.  This school, known as Cal State Emptierton , employed a large workforce of idiotic manual labor workers who created a huge bureaucracy for the purpose of inflating payroll.  When a light bulb or something like that blew up, they would call Gabriel and tell him that it was broken.  Gabriel would then write it on a piece of paper and then give said paper to another person who would evaluate the cost of said project which would then go to another team to go investigate and see if the prior estimate was valid.  Then this new estimate would be re-evaluated by another department which would then be reviewed by the initial estimate and the process would repeat itself until a number that everyone decided on was agreed to.  Considering it took forever and a half to get a light bulb fixed, what would come next would be surprising on more than one level.

One day, he got a call from a disgruntled bookstore manager.  The Emptierton College Bookstore just fired one of their book managers and he thought he might play a trick.  He requested a work order to demolish the bookstore.

Gabriel, obviously knowing nothing about anything, wrote the work order request as normal and handed it over to the next department.  Obviously no one in the Construction Ward had been notified that the bookstore manager had been fired, so no one questioned the intent.  After the whole bureaucracy of deciding how much it would cost to demolish the bookstore, it soon happened.

There was outrage from all corners of the campus.

“How could you have demolished the bookstore?” the President of the college, President Tasyst had asked.

“There was a work order.  You can’t question a work order,” the head of the Construction Ward, William Vable stood firm in the policies created by the Construction Ward of Cal State Emptierton.

The next day, another three requests came in to destroy other buildings on the campus, and soon there were no buildings left on the campus other than the Construction Ward.

Finally, one last call was given and someone had put a work order in to destroy the Construction Ward itself.

It took no less than a day to destroy the Construction Ward, and there wasn’t even much deliberation over whether or not they should do it.  There was a work order, after all.

Moral:  Don’t hire maintenance people who are idiots.

Bizarro Facebook #22527: Obamacare Isn’t a Tax…

A facebook friend shared this picture on his wall, which spurted the following conversation:

 

Obamacare Isn't a Tax...

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: 1.7 trillion over 10, sounds like the best for our country right now… Socialism bitch slap from across the ocean just reached America.

Travis: Please educate yourself… http://www.reddit.com/tb/vbkfm

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: LOL! educate yourself.

David: Looks great, aside from the extra cost of all that additional necessary stuff. Pricing us right into nationalized healthcare. On someone else’s watch (because if he doesn’t get re-elected, then he can blame this mess on someone else. If he does, then it was all part of his plan and it’s “doing just fine”)

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: It’s just disgusting. It’s a complete failure to America. Why not have states compete? Wait for the date people push HC for their pets. You’ll get more for that then family or friends or donations

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: ObamaCare is just a way to let socialist into this country and see how good socialism works around the world. check it yourself on more than one page.. many places and learn it yourself read up on it understand it.. Fuck OC as in obamacare.

davepoobond: Yeah those fuckin people with preexisting sicknesses can go fuck themselves. If they want to die then they can go die on their own dime.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: You are either funny or ignorant? You figure it out. We have more problems with ObamaC then we are now. Over the years if a panel thinks you shouldn’t live cause your 60 with cancer you get cut from medical help. You’re baby has 103 temp and sick if they are too young can get denied help. DO YOUR WORK FOOLS!

(next day)

davepoobond: oh, the part where they scrapped the “death panel” thing you’re talking about? http://articles.latimes.com/2009/aug/14/nation/na-health-end-of-life14

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: Wow one thing gone, if thats true.. So your telling me you know all about this HC plan that I’m pretty sure no one has read the whole plan yet? Like Pelosi who said you’ll have to pass it to find out what’s in it? Or do you just like it cause you hear it’s good? You think I would really tell someone whose sick to go fuck themselves? Guy there are better ways that our easily more explained and can help more people that this nonsense… Even your liberal buddy Bob Beckel who couldn’t receive HC after his heart attack and open heart surgery went across state lines and received HC, so why shouldn’t we just open that door to everyone and let HIC compete then rates will drop and you don’t have to write a new plan over 900 or some odd pages. And we wouldn’t have to change this country in to something it should never be. Also when did it become every hard working Americans job to take care of everyone else. You know that’s how America wanted to be at first then they realized how many people took advantage of it and didn’t do shit. So they came about capitalism and competed to keep people working for what they need. Obamacare is a complete failure to this country and everything we gone through to get what we become.

davepoobond: wow. i find it absolutely hilarious you wrote all that, but it still doesn’t deny the fact that i researched the topic you brought up, proved it as false, and then you dismissed it like it was nothing. it isn’t even an issue of whether or not the bill is something to get behind or not. it is about you hiding behind the fact that you were wrong and now you cant accept it. hahah.

davepoobond: im not even liberal. my views are generally more of a neo-conservative. so i’m sorry that i stepped on your toes.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: How was I wrong when what you put up hasn’t even be denied just talk about how it should be taken out, so in the long run I was tight.

davepoobond: how does the sentence “A Senate panel has decided to scrap the part ” imply any part of temporary status regarding that part of the bill?

davepoobond: also from the article: “Legislation passed by the Senate’s health committee does not include the consultation measure.”

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: I didn’t see a date to the one, cause last I heard after the date above Aug, 14 2009 it was still going. SO unless you can put a date to that for me. I will believe if the plan holds up and you don’t see it happening. Obama has already lied several times before whose to say he wont again.

davepoobond: From wikipedia: Passed the Senate as the “Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act” on December 24, 2009 (60–39) with amendment.

Passed the House on October 8, 2009 (416–0)

So you’re saying within 2 months after that article was written, they reincluded the “death panel” clause in there and it got approved after it was taken out? They removed something only to put it back in, is what you are saying. Not only that, the onus of proof is on you at this point. I’ve already proven my point.

Also, I find it hilarious that you would think they would be able to revise the bill and approve it unilaterally in the house in 2 months and then added back in the next month in the senate. That’s some fast government work if i ever heard of it! It’s like they almost didn’t want to add something like that back in…

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: Will see what happens when my 70 year old parents get sick.

davepoobond: So instead of “doing your own work” on research like you were preaching earlier you’re going to take the lazy road and not show any proof of what you were proclaiming as the truth and presenting a fallacious strawman of your parents getting sick in some undeclared point in the future to prove your point? Get out of here with that crap, man. Put your money where your mouth is. Show me proof that the death panel exists and is in the law.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: Really, This is what I read in your wiki. “Death panel” is a political term that originated during a 2009 debate about federal health care legislation to cover the uninsured in the United States.” Then if you read all of it later down the line you see in 2010 a dem supporter still talks about how your medical conditions will be put in front of a group of an elected few to some and reviewe… Now if that’s not the true meaning of death panel in its own sick way then believe what you want, and when it comes to haunt you then you can go complain to someone like yourself who will post some article from the left then use wiki, without reading the whole page. I’m done now I have proved you wrong when there was something about it before 2009 then they change the words and keep it in the bill but you don’t care for that either.

davepoobond: The page I linked does not have that quote. I typed it in verbatim and nothing. The only mention of the word “council” on that page is for the national prevention health promotion and public health council which is for developing a health promotion strategy. Are you just making stuff up now?

davepoobond: Look up “death panel” on wikipedia. Right there it says it was dropped. Do I really have to keep proving this? I guess you can just keep on spouting disinformation. Doesn’t hurt to get your facts straight.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: That’s where I looked guy..

davepoobond: You are being painfully obtuse. Now that I know you’re looking at the “Death Panel” wikipedia article instead of the actual article I was REFERRING TO about the PPACA initially, it says IN THAT VERY LINE THAT YOU ARE QUOTING, NOW THAT I’M LOOKING AT THE RIGHT ARTICLE: “nothing in any proposed legislation would have allowed individuals to be judged to see if they were “worthy” of health care.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_panel

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: All I can say is any article I have read says death panel is nothing and means nothing, but the more you read into Obamacare, I still read that there will be a group of PEOPLE no medical doctors or your opinion counts. When it comes to them, and the only way to get around it is private assistance what means leaving the country. Look at the whole Obama campaign with that little girl they use. Still in the mandate and still has people deciding when you get to an age who give the upwards or downwards signal of the thumb. You must agree with abortion and disagree with the death penalty.. cause this is the complete opposite. Once again all you feed me is a bunch of nonsense. I told you death panel was used as a political term in an earlier post and explained who decides your faith if you can’t find it then I’m not going to explain it… When the fucks who passed it wont keep it for themselves then you know its bad…. so you can go read the 2100 pages of his bill and when you get through it come talk to me then… LIKE I SAID I’M DONE WITH YOU.

davepoobond: you’re not even making complete sentences. you are completely going crazy, i hope you realize that nothing that you wrote out makes any sense. “Earlier” when you somehow said this exactly, and I’m copying and pasting: “Over the years if a panel thinks you shouldn’t live cause your 60 with cancer you get cut from medical help.”

That is not saying that you are saying that the death panel is nothing and means nothing. You have not shown me any proof or articles describing what it is you are talking about. You are telling me to go read a 2100 page health care bill. LOL. Can you not debate in a non fallacious fashion? Is all you can say “go find the proof for yourself”? That is not how it works. You are supposed to convince me of something with PROOF. You have NONE at this point in time. You are building up strawmen and that is a FALLACY. The onus of proof is on you to prove to me that whatever it is you are talking about exists.

And don’t think you can just make assumptions about what i believe about abortion and the death penalty. That isn’t even the point of what we are talking about. What are you trying to get at? Are you trying to hit at some other part of what I believe so you can just say that my opinion is less than yours? How is that going to help you? You said that there are death panels, you did not say “DEATH PANELS ARE USED AS A POLITICAL TERM” when describing about how your 70 year old parents will get sick in some future point of time and have their fates determined by a death panel.

You are trying to deflect, terribly. Learn how to think for yourself and actually learn how to argue your points. For all you know I am against the health care bill. What I AM for is the anti-disinformation. There is no point to lie about what is included in the health care reform bill whether or not you agree with it. It is okay to say that you were wrong, but you are so adamantly defending your position and twisting your own words to cover your own ass for some reason I can’t even begin to fathom.

Sorry, bud, you lose this one.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: WHy do I need to prove anything to you… I’m here to point out what I know and seen of the plan. You haven’t proved otherwise to me. If you can believe an article from someone you don’t know who is person like you or me but can’t believe what I say from my own intelligence of doing research what’s the difference… Why do I need to waste my time talking to a mindless zombie who cuts and paste but when I prove a point you say it’s nonsense and is no proof. Well I’m the proof, all I need is my mind to know count on memories… What would you do with out a computer carry around newspaper articles all day? I just need to know the research I done is in my head and everyone I talked to who isn’t an Obama lover agrees with me so I don’t know where you stand but I know you must only sit in front of your computer all day. So sorry bud when you stop working out and Obamacare cuts you from everything then you can write back to me… PEACE OUT, good luck with your articles hope they don’t brainwash you like the word death panel from the obvious fact there are people who sit on a panel and decide what your worth..

davepoobond: You are declaring yourself an expert on the topic, now? Seriously? You can’t honestly think that anyone in the world would take something as asinine as “I know it because I know it” as proof of anything. “You’re the proof.” You’re the proof, alright, of many other things. Not of anything that we are talking about. You are going bananas and off on tangents that do not make any sense. I behoove you, please realize you have just said that you need not prove what you say because what you say is infallible. You are essentially saying you are all-knowing.

I wasn’t even the one who used the word “panel” originally. You did! How am I the one being brainwashed? Have you never written a report for school before? In the Cited Works section did you just say “Me” for everything you wrote and didn’t even research the topic? That’s not how it works if you want to be seen as a legitimate source of information for anything.

You need to prove something to me because you keep saying everything I say is false. I say “show me how its false.” You say “no, I know its false so thats why its false.” HOW do you know this? Did you absorb the content of the bill by osmosis and then construe parts of the bill that do not exist in your head?

davepoobond: I posted an article from a person who is an actual journalist and has access to finding out information from the source. I can’t just talk to a senator if I want to. Do you not understand the concept of news?

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: Fine so you now are not doing your work and want me to send you crap from someone to read.. I can’t talk to a senator either but I don’t believe every freak reporter or I would be a mindless idiot like most other people look up Phil Roe- no smoke blown or IPAB (10) you can read all about a group of 15 people who decide your faith cause like your proving to them we need someone else to make your decision for you… Now that I proved my point from some article or so read you get you can stop and realize you run with the pact. Later guy now do your own work next time.

davepoobond: you’re not understanding that I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO ANY WORK TO PROVE YOUR POINT

davepoobond: i can’t believe how hard it is to have you post a link to anything. not to mention it probably wouldnt even be a reputable source outlet, but that’s beside the point.

(10 hours later)

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot:  You are a tool!

davepoobond: I would absolutely love to know the reasons why you think that I am a tool. Please, indulge me.

davepoobond: You don’t even have to provide any links.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: hahahaha You just proved it… lol You don’t even need a link. Fuck your links.. just like every leftist I know.. I need a link. I gave you stuff to look up but probably to much homework for you.

davepoobond: im going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that was just a funny joke. now, how about actually answering the question

davepoobond: and i just said you dont have to, so that means i DONT need a link. does that make me aligned to the right?

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: Go reread everything. This is my point to you. I told you what I know. I should need to prove anything to you by links but thats all you wanted so when I gave you links to look at you just blew it off go do your homework… I’m done with this tool it can’t be fixed I’m throwing it out.. You are a tool. point made many times but your just going to think your right. There is a panel of people who decide what to do about sick people and it is a tax and if Romneys boy really says Romney doesn’t thinks its a tax then no matter what this country is fucked.. I’m done with you if you reply I will not cause again there is no fixing this tool time to get rid of it like obamacare will do if your to old to them. so peace out guy.

davepoobond: you didnt give me any links!!!! describing an article is not linking something!!! you are the most ridiculous person in the world!!!

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: TOOL last chance Phil Roe- no smoke blown, or IPAB (10) you can read all about a group of 15 people who decide your faith. You must not read.

davepoobond: do you understand the internet? a link is a url not the name of a web site. ALSO, i’ve never even heard the name Phil Roe, but obviously he can’t be taken seriously as a journalist since he has an amazingly huge conflict of interest — he is a republican congressman! of course you’re not going to bother learning what conflict of interest means so i’m just going to also tell you I can’t even find the article on his stupid web site that you’re even REFERRING to. How about you actually copy and paste a link for me to actually look at!

Or would that be too leftist for you to do? Making it easy for someone to find what you are talking about!

davepoobond: here’s something for you look at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independent_Payment_Advisory_Board

With regard to IPAB’s recommendations, the law says “The proposal shall not include any recommendation to ration health care, raise revenues or Medicare beneficiary premiums under section 1818, 1818A, or 1839, increase Medicare beneficiary cost sharing (including deductibles, coinsurance, and co-payments), or otherwise restrict benefits or modify eligibility criteria.”

There you go. They have nothing to do with approving individuals getting coverage they need.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: lol

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: goodbye guy

davepoobond: what’s so funny about that? hello?

davepoobond: it took me all of 5 minutes to disprove you again. you are the worst at life and the internet.

Since he stopped replying, the next day I went through and Liked all his posts.

Jeffrey DouchebagIdiot: holly pooh dude are we still on this page you should have tomorrow off go play with something, ladies offer you a lot. Just realize they have have a few bitches behind them giving you a bad name… Like if you should go home with them or not,.. Happy 4th guy!

#22497: Automatic Man -> davepoobond

Automatic Man messaged me what I had written on Squackle as an update…

Automatic Man: Yesterday, I was driving on a freeway back from KFC, with a large (the really big one) box of Popcorn Chicken (mmh mmh do I love Popcorn Chicken) when all of a sudden something brown flew through the air and then smashed into my windwhield and made two huge holes in it. Glass flew everywhere, and I don’t know what the hell it was or whether someone threw it or if it got thrown up by another car’s tires. If it was someone throwing it, I want to kill them, because now I have to replace the windshield of the Turbo Diesel Ground Force (the name of my car).

Automatic Man: ahahahaaha

Automatic Man: it was me!

davepoobond: wtf?

davepoobond: what are you talkin about

davepoobond: you didn’t throw that shit

Automatic Man: shhh! yes i did

davepoobond: what was it then

Automatic Man: a big brown thing, possibly a rock

davepoobond: unh hunh..

Automatic Man: its true

davepoobond: why aren’t you more specific

Automatic Man: cuz i was high at the time

Automatic Man: because i got high

Automatic Man: becuase i got high

davepoobond: i saw you right after i came into the school parking lot, jackass

Auto response from Automatic Man: stupid research paper! brb

Automatic Man: ya i drive and run just that fast

Automatic Man: mmm english muffin

Automatic Man: >:o

davepoobond: english muffins are good toasted

davepoobond: you know what else is good toasted?

davepoobond: the En Vogue CD “funky DIVAS”

Automatic Man: lol

Automatic Man: i had a toasted english muffin with yogurt butter on it (its like butter, but made from yogurt so its not as bad for you)

davepoobond: yeah i have that yogurt butter crap too

davepoobond: its good

davepoobond: better than substitute shit

Automatic Man: brummel and brown baby

davepoobond: yeahhh!

davepoobond: me too

davepoobond: the big ol’ tubs

Automatic Man: its good shit

Automatic Man: i have a small 1

davepoobond: we used to get small ones

Automatic Man: but we dont use it that much

davepoobond: they stopped sellin them small or something

davepoobond: there’s these tubs

davepoobond: that last about a month or something

Automatic Man: hmmm

davepoobond: around here anyway

Automatic Man: like a regular size butter 1? or the gigantic dave size TUBs?

davepoobond: you know the “i can’t believe its not butter” tubs

davepoobond: that size

Automatic Man: ya

Automatic Man: thats wut i have

Automatic Man: bout 3 inches in diamter

davepoobond: its a pound

Automatic Man: hmm

Automatic Man: i dunno

davepoobond: it says what it weighs on there

Automatic Man: but were having too deep a conversation about butter

davepoobond: its not butter

davepoobond: its 35% veggie oil

Automatic Man: whatever the hell it is

davepoobond: 25% yogurt

davepoobond: and the rest is butter i guess

Automatic Man: lol

davepoobond: do you know who En Vogue is

Automatic Man: singer?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: its a group

davepoobond: of 4 black females

Automatic Man: oh

Automatic Man: o well

davepoobond: there’s a movie named “duets”

davepoobond: and i have the soundtrack for some reason

davepoobond: it has the guy from big fat liar that was colored blue

davepoobond: i dont know his name

Automatic Man: o

davepoobond: did you finish your research paper

Automatic Man: not yet

Automatic Man: almost

davepoobond: i’ve got 8 pgs

davepoobond: 8 full pgs

Automatic Man: oh

Automatic Man: well

Automatic Man: see right now im using wordpad cuz this POS comp doesnt have word so i have to move it to my good comp after i finish so i can actually break it down into PAGES

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: the spice girls are kinda funny

Auto response from Automatic Man: id like to talk, but im on the home stretch of my research paper, and i wanna finish soon

Quote #22191

::davepoobond is sitting at a desk at work, using the computer::

::Armando picks up the phone::

Armando:  Dave, Megutron wants to talk to you.

davepoobond: To me?  About what?

Armando: I’ll transfer her to that phone.

::davepoobond picks up the phone::

::Megutron explains that the camera she is using is not recording audio.  davepoobond tells her he doesn’t know what it could be, since he never used the school’s cameras, and suggests it could be the heads not recording sound::

::Later… about 1.5 hours later::

::davepoobond goes out to where Megutron is filing and tells her to go to the menu settings and eventually he fixes the audio problem in like 2 minutes.  It wasn’t set to Audio In::

Megutron:  Agggh!  Fuck!  Oh my God!

– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07

The Wise Tennis Ball

Tenny the Tennis Ball has been stuck in the same fence for 15 years.  Oh, the stories he could tell you about Rochestor Elementary School.  Tenny wasn’t always in a fence, though.  At one point, he was used as a tool for mass infliction of pain!

But, ever since he was thrown into the very top rung of the fence, Tenny observed the school and all of the events that transpired below.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Tenny is a romantic.  He longed for the days when he was trapped between two other tennis balls to whom he could have constant contact with in the metal tube he came from.  He is into the multi-racial thing, too, as one was green and the other was orange.

It isn’t easy being stuck in a fence at a lowly school in Missouri.  No one ever says, “Hi,” to him and when the seasons change, he weathers the weather without so much as a glimpse from a 5th grader.

There Tenny stayed stuck in a fence, never minded upon, simply unnoticed, always observing.

That is, until an electrical storm forced an alien spaceship into the atmosphere!  They were planning an attack on a K-Mart building that had gained sentience and was threatening to collect on the layaways the aliens had at the store.  The Layawaliens’ plans were foiled when the K-Mart Building #1335 created an electrical storm to foil them.

The immense radiation blast that came from the Layawaliens’ ship was focused solely at Tenny the Tennis Ball.  His simple existence of being stuck in a fence had instantly become something more… and as the Layawaliens tried to restabalize and exit the atmosphere, a second large burst of radiation hit Tenny and he sprouted legs, and arms, and a brain, and a head, and a kidney… two even!  He had become what he only knew… and elementary school kid.  A 5th grader, to be exact.

But he was still stuck in a fence, body organs hanging out every which way because there was no room for him to grow “naturally.”  There he groaned and lamented in pain as his tennis-ball-fur-covered organs hung and bounced around as he tried to free himself to no avail.

How he longed even more for the days of being a normal tennis ball!  This being a half-human-half-tennis-ball thing got old after about ten minutes of having two swinging kidneys.

There he stayed over the weekend until the children went out to recess.  It’s sort of hard to not notice this weird human hybrid monster thing hanging at the top of the fence.  Some children started to throw rocks and insults at Tenny for no reason.  He hated being “human” and hated humans, too!

Just then, the K-Mart Building #1335 developed space flight capability and empathically felt Tenny’s pain.  If K-Mart Building #1335 wanted a life-hating space captain, Tenny was it.

As the K-Mart building lifted off it made a tractor beam shoot out and rip off the piece of the fence that Tenny was stuck in and levitated it into its roll-up doors and exited the atmosphere.  Tenny the Tennis Ball was given a chair that fit the contours of his new body perfectly.  Even though he was still stuck in afence, he was able to integrate his thoughts with the space-bound building.

First order of business, was a volley of phasers and rockets and contact solution as well as several types of canned goods at Rochester Elementary.  There were tons of screaming children as they were splashed with exploding cases of contact solution and pelted with canned cucumbers and peaches.  The phasers targeted the handball and four-square courts to the children would never get to play at recess again.  This would lead to diabetes in 3/4 of the children and they wouldn’t be able to eat any fun food for the rest of their lives.

The K-Mart building communicated to Tenny that it was going to follow the damaged Layawalien ship back to its home planet and collect on its layaways in full, even if that means taking over their planet.

The Layawaliens ship finally made its way back to its home planet of Layaway Planet, where everything on the planet took a decade to pay for, so it was all old-looking shit.  The defensive capabilities of the planet were no match for K-Mart Building #1335, and soon it landed on the planet, creating a fortress around itself and infecting the population with a derivative of salmonella from its sliced Turkey products that the Layawaliens foolishly took it out on layaway from the store.

Three weeks after the fortress had been completed and 90% of the Layawalien population had food poisoning and stomachaches, Tenny declared Layaway Planet the property of K-Mart Building #1335.  The Layawaliens were forced to sign a treaty agreeing to this fact, so that they would be able to get antacids and cures for the salmonella poisoning that threatened their race.

Tenny thought back to his simpler days of being stuck in a fence as a normal tennis ball.  Look how far he had come, in such a short time.

Moral:  When your life is changed drastically, think of the consequences it has on others as well.

WoW Chat #21144

I hearth back to Stormwind and see Jake talking in General Chat…

[1] [Jake]: and im gonna contest it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[1] [Sharlo]: gl with that

[1] [davepoobond]: contest?

[1] [davepoobond]: what do you win

[1] [Jake]: your mom

[1] [davepoobond]: sounds like a loser’s prize

[1] [Jake]: it is

[1] [davepoobond]: so what do you actually win

[1] [Jake]: don worry bout it

[1] [davepoobond]: who’s he

[1] [Jake]: you migh be one of the smartest people in wow

[1] [davepoobond]: wow, thank you.  if it wasnt laced with an amazing amount of credulity i might just be appreciative

[1] [Jake]: shut up

[1] [Jake]: you are your child’s best role model

[1] [davepoobond]: im going to contest that statement Jake

[1] [Jake]: im going to contest you

[1] [davepoobond]: wow thank you, sounds fun

[1] [Jake]: are you trying to troll me or something? do you realize that’s a word?

[1] [davepoobond]: yeah you can make up words every day

[1] [Jake]: lol aright mang

[1] [davepoobond]: see you just did it again like 5 more times

[1] [Jake]: yeah

[1] [Jake]: i made up the word contest

[1] [davepoobond]: you’re cool bro, tell me more about how old you are! LOLOL

[1] [Jake]: im 45 fat balding

[1] [Jake]: and getting ready to blow my brains out

[1] [davepoobond]: lemme guess you walked to school in the snow and it was uphill

[1] [davepoobond]: you’re so old you listen to justin bieber lol

Thank You Note Samples For You To Use

Nothing says thank you like a piece of paper with words written on it.  In fact, they call it a “Thank You” note.  But why do you have to reinvent the wheel when you can just copy what I’ve wrote in the past and modify it towards your specific situation?  These samples are only really useful for someone who has graduated from high school but has yet to go to college.  Nifty, ain’t it?

I think I did a damn fine job with these Thank You notes, so here they are!

SAMPLE 1 (For a college graduate):

Dear (INSERT NAME HERE),

Thank you very much for the very generous (INSERT ITEM HERE, OR SAY “GIFT” OR “PRESENT”), as I know this will most certainly help me in my college years, and also help prepare me for my future life after college.

I want to express how much it means to me that you’ve always been there for me throughout my life.  If you had not been able to take me to my medical, dental, and other appointments when I had no other way to get there, it would have been too hard to get to those appointments.  I also want to thank you severely for all the times you came over to our house and made food for us.

SAMPLE 2 (For moving away to college):

Dear (INSERT NAME HERE),

I want to thank you for the (INSERT ITEM HERE, OR SAY “GIFT” OR “PRESENT”) you gave me.  It was very generous of you to do so, and I will definitely make use of it when I go to college.  It will help make college easier for me, because I will have the ability to buy things for my room, making my day-to-day life easier.

I’ve always thought of you as family, and appreciate your compassion and support through the years.

SAMPLE 3 (For a High School Graduate):

Dear (INSERT NAME HERE),

Thank you very much for being able to attend my high school graduation.  It means a lot to me that you were able to take off work and drive all the way over to (INSERT YOUR CITY) to see it.  It was very meaningful to me that you both have supported me as much as you could through the years, and helped me out as much as you can, even though you live far away.

I appreciate the very generous graduation present you gave me.  I will always remember your generosity and support.