Tag Archives: Automatic Man

I Got the Ung

#23319: davepoobond -> Automatic Man

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series The Case of the Stolen Backpack

During High School…

davepoobond: my backpack got jacked

davepoobond: during lunch

Automatic Man: LOL

davepoobond: when i was buying my lunch, i bet some kid thought it was his

davepoobond: but there wasn’t any extra backpacks out there

davepoobond: my cell phone, calculator, binder full of all the papers for the year so far, my english binder, and my english notebook are all gone

Automatic Man: that sux

davepoobond: i’m pretty much screwed on the next sociology test

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: and the next time my english teacher collects the notebooks

davepoobond: and my squackle notebook was in there too

davepoobond: its vucking gay

Automatic Man: ya

Automatic Man: ull get it back prlly

davepoobond: i dont know though

davepoobond: there wasn’t an extra backpack anywhere

davepoobond: that doesn’t really make sense does it

Automatic Man: the world doesnt

davepoobond: why would someone come back pick up their backpack and keep mine

davepoobond: unless they wanted to keep my shit

davepoobond: for some stupid reason

Automatic Man: ill give it back to you tomorrow

Automatic Man: 😛

davepoobond: did you seriously take it

davepoobond: i dont think you did

Automatic Man: no, i didn’t. and it sux that it was taken.

davepoobond: i had a lot of pens and markers too

davepoobond: and white out

davepoobond: and lead

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: scissors. my favorite scissors

davepoobond: my favorite calculator

Automatic Man: lol

davepoobond: my glasses case

Automatic Man: u had a fav.?>

davepoobond: yeah i have a favorite everything

davepoobond: i prefer the scientific calculator i had to a graphing calculator

Automatic Man: lo

#22509: davepoobond -> Automatic Man

davepoobond: hot in. dun dunnn…………hot in HEEERRRREEEE

Automatic Man: ?

davepoobond: <>?

davepoobond: >^<

davepoobond: <^>

davepoobond: ^^>><<^^

davepoobond: ^^>><<>><<^^

Automatic Man: wtf?

davepoobond: >:o

Automatic Man: wtf are you doing

davepoobond: :-X

Automatic Man: how come i see ur messeges in a window, then i send em in a different 1?

davepoobond: me no no

davepoobond: 😛

#22497: Automatic Man -> davepoobond

Automatic Man messaged me what I had written on Squackle as an update…

Automatic Man: Yesterday, I was driving on a freeway back from KFC, with a large (the really big one) box of Popcorn Chicken (mmh mmh do I love Popcorn Chicken) when all of a sudden something brown flew through the air and then smashed into my windwhield and made two huge holes in it. Glass flew everywhere, and I don’t know what the hell it was or whether someone threw it or if it got thrown up by another car’s tires. If it was someone throwing it, I want to kill them, because now I have to replace the windshield of the Turbo Diesel Ground Force (the name of my car).

Automatic Man: ahahahaaha

Automatic Man: it was me!

davepoobond: wtf?

davepoobond: what are you talkin about

davepoobond: you didn’t throw that shit

Automatic Man: shhh! yes i did

davepoobond: what was it then

Automatic Man: a big brown thing, possibly a rock

davepoobond: unh hunh..

Automatic Man: its true

davepoobond: why aren’t you more specific

Automatic Man: cuz i was high at the time

Automatic Man: because i got high

Automatic Man: becuase i got high

davepoobond: i saw you right after i came into the school parking lot, jackass

Auto response from Automatic Man: stupid research paper! brb

Automatic Man: ya i drive and run just that fast

Automatic Man: mmm english muffin

Automatic Man: >:o

davepoobond: english muffins are good toasted

davepoobond: you know what else is good toasted?

davepoobond: the En Vogue CD “funky DIVAS”

Automatic Man: lol

Automatic Man: i had a toasted english muffin with yogurt butter on it (its like butter, but made from yogurt so its not as bad for you)

davepoobond: yeah i have that yogurt butter crap too

davepoobond: its good

davepoobond: better than substitute shit

Automatic Man: brummel and brown baby

davepoobond: yeahhh!

davepoobond: me too

davepoobond: the big ol’ tubs

Automatic Man: its good shit

Automatic Man: i have a small 1

davepoobond: we used to get small ones

Automatic Man: but we dont use it that much

davepoobond: they stopped sellin them small or something

davepoobond: there’s these tubs

davepoobond: that last about a month or something

Automatic Man: hmmm

davepoobond: around here anyway

Automatic Man: like a regular size butter 1? or the gigantic dave size TUBs?

davepoobond: you know the “i can’t believe its not butter” tubs

davepoobond: that size

Automatic Man: ya

Automatic Man: thats wut i have

Automatic Man: bout 3 inches in diamter

davepoobond: its a pound

Automatic Man: hmm

Automatic Man: i dunno

davepoobond: it says what it weighs on there

Automatic Man: but were having too deep a conversation about butter

davepoobond: its not butter

davepoobond: its 35% veggie oil

Automatic Man: whatever the hell it is

davepoobond: 25% yogurt

davepoobond: and the rest is butter i guess

Automatic Man: lol

davepoobond: do you know who En Vogue is

Automatic Man: singer?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: its a group

davepoobond: of 4 black females

Automatic Man: oh

Automatic Man: o well

davepoobond: there’s a movie named “duets”

davepoobond: and i have the soundtrack for some reason

davepoobond: it has the guy from big fat liar that was colored blue

davepoobond: i dont know his name

Automatic Man: o

davepoobond: did you finish your research paper

Automatic Man: not yet

Automatic Man: almost

davepoobond: i’ve got 8 pgs

davepoobond: 8 full pgs

Automatic Man: oh

Automatic Man: well

Automatic Man: see right now im using wordpad cuz this POS comp doesnt have word so i have to move it to my good comp after i finish so i can actually break it down into PAGES

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: the spice girls are kinda funny

Auto response from Automatic Man: id like to talk, but im on the home stretch of my research paper, and i wanna finish soon

#22492: davepoobond -> Automatic Man

davepoobond: i ate 2 footlong sandwiches from subway

davepoobond: today

davepoobond: isn’t that funny

Automatic Man: wow

Automatic Man: so thats y u were going there

davepoobond: when did you see me

Automatic Man: after school

Automatic Man: a little after

davepoobond: were you at the intersection

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: there was a coupon that i could get 3 footlongs for 10.99

Automatic Man: shit

davepoobond: so i thought what the hell, i’ll use it. i’m hungry anyway

Automatic Man: i had a footlong sub today

davepoobond: i have a bunch of coupons

davepoobond: for subway

davepoobond: i’ll give you some

Automatic Man: cool

davepoobond: they expire the 16th

Automatic Man: it was soo good, but it costeded me 9 dollars

davepoobond: 3 footlongs at reg. price is 12.99 or whatever

davepoobond: it was like 11 after

davepoobond: so i only saved a buck

davepoobond: which is kind of a rip off for a coupon

Automatic Man: but that buck will get you 100/164ths of a gallon of gas

davepoobond: i guess

davepoobond: well

davepoobond: diesel costs 1.89

davepoobond: right now

Automatic Man: o it went up

davepoobond: no, it never changed

davepoobond: it was like that for the past few months

Automatic Man: theres a cheap gas station in pas that has diesel for like 165

davepoobond: you can get it for less in cheaper areas

davepoobond: yeah, its just price gouging

Automatic Man: yep

davepoobond: its a more affluent area, so people will pay more

Automatic Man: you dont get gas at the crest, do you?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: no diesel there

Automatic Man: hey dave, dont tread on me

davepoobond: i get it at chevron

Automatic Man: o

davepoobond: its either that, or at the union at alta canyada

davepoobond: and its the same damn price

davepoobond: i like chevron better anyway

Automatic Man: o

Automatic Man: its all about the union

davepoobond: it has techron

davepoobond: which keeps the motor clean

davepoobond: er

Automatic Man: oh dave, thats a bunch of shit

Automatic Man: they do that to attract people who dont know shit about cars (like yourself)

davepoobond: what the hell does it do then

Automatic Man: techron?

davepoobond: yeah

Automatic Man: well first, you gotta really prove that they add sumthin else to the GAS

Automatic Man: im not sure if the gas even has it, let alone the diesel

Automatic Man: but it might

Automatic Man: i dunno

davepoobond: if it didn’t have it they wouldn’t advertise it

davepoobond: its false advertising and that’s illegal

davepoobond: so they add something

Automatic Man: but can YOU prove that it really cleans out carbon deposits in the engine?

davepoobond: probably not, but nor do i care that much, because i’m still gonna go to chevron which might have something or might not instead of going somewhere that doesn’t have anything advertised as being added into it

davepoobond: namely union

#11000: Automatic Man -> davepoobond

Automatic Man: wussup nigga?

davepoobond: wtf

Automatic Man: ?

davepoobond: oh its you

Automatic Man: you know whats great about our school computer admins? they dont know shit about shit

davepoobond: i thought it was someone i didn’t know

Automatic Man: ahahah

Automatic Man: im on a school comp right now, i can get on AIM, and go to any website i want

davepoobond: heh

Automatic Man: fucking retarded school admins

Automatic Man: but its me, mr. forrester, and some old ladies:-! so i need a dave to talk to

Automatic Man: :-(*

davepoobond: o boy

Automatic Man: yep

davepoobond: mighty ducks is a good series

Automatic Man: the movies?

davepoobond: they need to bring them back

davepoobond: yeah

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: Masta Rasta presents: D4, The Mighty Ducks DIE

Automatic Man: lo.l

davepoobond: featuring Doug E. Doug from Cool Runnings

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: directed by sam pillsbury

davepoobond: who directed free willy 3

Automatic Man: ya

#10993: davepoobond -> Automatic Man

davepoobond: man oh man you missed a lot at physics today

Automatic Man: im sure

Automatic Man: how was it?

davepoobond: ap wasn’t there either

davepoobond: so it was kinda boring

Automatic Man: lol

Automatic Man: sux for you

davepoobond: you are an intricate part of the table

Automatic Man: du hasst mich

Automatic Man: i know

Automatic Man: you didnt have to say that i knew it already

Automatic Man signed off at 7:26 PM

#10991: davepoobond -> manceman

davepoobond: faaaackk

manceman: what?

davepoobond: tim probably won’t be at school tomorrow

davepoobond: and we have next wednesday off

davepoobond: teacher sell back day

davepoobond: last time they had a buy back day

davepoobond: next wednesday its sell back day

davepoobond: har har har

manceman: haha

manceman: so whats the problem?

davepoobond: aahhh

davepoobond: did i tell you tim’s not gonna be at school tomorrow probably

manceman: so?

davepoobond: aaahhhhhhhh

manceman: i dont get it?

davepoobond: you’re damn right

davepoobond: you dont get a lotta things

davepoobond: like ass, is probably the #1 thing

manceman: ya from guys fag

davepoobond: =-O

#10941: Automatic Man -> davepoobond

Automatic Man: dave, im fucked.

davepoobond: why

Automatic Man: cuz i have an essay due in history tomorrow and i didnt do the reading

Automatic Man: and its online, but theres no NOTES on it

Automatic Man: and im not reading 40 pages, and THEN writing an essay

davepoobond: otherwise you’re fucked

davepoobond: so do it

Automatic Man: im trying but i didnt read so im getting chahines cock in my ass tomorrow

davepoobond: you won’t care about these last 3 hours that you spent on a sunday night

davepoobond: once its over

Automatic Man: no, but i still gotta do my physics HW

davepoobond: it’ll take you an hour tops to read it

davepoobond: and then another hour to do the essay

davepoobond: physics HW isn’t due until the test

davepoobond: that’s how it always is isn’t it

Automatic Man: no, i need to do all of the stuff i havent turned in

davepoobond: oh

Automatic Man: but ur right, imma go read it

Automatic Man: goddamn book

davepoobond: dave – the man with all the answers

Automatic Man is away at 7:27 PM

#6424: Automatic Man -> davepoobond

davepoobond sent out a newsletter (which is pretty much once every 3 months) and Automatic Man was subscribed to it


Automatic Man: dont send me more emails

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: y not

Automatic Man: cuz its annoying

davepoobond: comon that’s 1 since april. its the end of july now

Automatic Man: NO

Automatic Man: thats one small step for man, one giant step for………. i have a dream!

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: thats nice

davepoobond: so whats up

Automatic Man: my dick

davepoobond: thats spectacular. how long did it take you this time

Automatic Man: only 10 mins with that new viagra