“This may be the coldest book I ever wrote. It’s all snow and ice and freezing winds. It was very different to write — mainly because it’s hard to type when you’re wearing mittens!”
– RL Stine
Tag Archives: cold
Joke #23391
Q: What does a car wear when it’s cold?
A: A car-digan
The tea is too cold…
I found this at school.
–
The tea is too cold
The tea is too hot. I can’t drink it.
I can’t put my dictionary in my pocket. My dictionary is too big.
An elephant is too big. A mouse is too small.
I can’t buy a boat because it’s too expensive, but Anita can buy one if she wants to.
We went to the Rocky Mountains for our vacation. The mountains are too beautiful.
I can’t eat this food because it’s too salty.
Amanda doesn’t like her room in the dorm. She thinks it’s too small.
I lost your dictionary. I’m too sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.
A: Do you like your math course?
B: Yes. It’s too difficult, but I enjoy it.
A Short Example to Get You Going
The best thing you can do for a cold is stay in your roller coaster, get plenty of rest, and drink lots of maple syrup. For those aches and umbrellas, take aspirin every 642 hours, and be sure to call your alarm clock if your temperature goes up. Some purple tea or elephant soup can also help a nasty cold. And don’t forget to attack your runny nose with soft tissues. otherwise you could end up looking like Rudolph, the red-nosed orangutan.
Joke #18176
Q: What happened to the computer that stayed out in the cold too long?
A: It got frostbyte.
Joke #18132
TEACHER: “Use ‘cultivate’ in a sentence.”
JIMMY: “One winter morning it was too cultivate (cold to wait) for the bus so I took the subway.”
Joke #18085
MOM: “Did you take an aspirin for that cold?”
SON: “Yes, I did.”
MOM: “Bayer?”
SON: “That’s how I caught it in the first place.”
Quote #17081
“Its fucking Africa! You don’t get cold in Africa in the middle of the day!”
– davepoobond
Quote #16774
“cold turkey”
– Mrs. Stickums
Quote #15677
“It was so cold her car laughed at her when she tried to start it”
– Ms. Signs
Quote #15449
“you’re freezing my assets off!”
– from the Radio
Quote #15306
“I am SO cold, I can’t even spell shiver!”
– from the TV
Joke #13807
Q: Why is Rudolph’s nose red?
A: He has a cold!
Joke #13788
Q: What’s worse than Rudolph with a cold?
A: Frosty the Snowman with a fever!
Joke #13344
Q: What has four legs and goes booo?
A: A cow with a cold.