1.Cangarou
2.Kaingaroo
3.Kaneguru
4.Kengaroo
5.Poppy seed muffins
6.Kainegaraue
7.Canegeroo
8.Kaynegaru
9.Cainegeru
10.K-k-k-kanga-kanga-kanga-roo hoo hoodily hoodily hoo
Category Archives: Lists
Lots of funny lists!
Fun Stuff To Do
– Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don’t, then punch them in the face.
– Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. Then after everyone gives you sympathy remarks tell them you were just kidding and tell them they are all a bunch of queers.
– Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie. then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say “beat that.”
– Inform a co-worker that he wouldn’t make a good hooker then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good ass-fucking.
– Walk around with a big smile on your face while keeping one hand down your pants.
– Answer every question with “fuck if I know” then call the person a racial slur that doesn’t even match their race.
– Brag about the fact that you own a gun and keep playing with your nuts, get them really sweaty , then walk around shaking everyone’s hand.
– Shit on the floor of your office and when someone comes in and sees it tell them that it’s the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.
– Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over the place and yell “It won’t stop!” then when it stops, look down and say “oh.”
10. ask to borrow someon’es pen. take it to the bathroom and stick it in your ass. return it and tell the person to smell it. when they tell you it smells like shit say ” it should i had it in my ass !! “
Top 10 Excuses To Use If One Game Remains and Two People Want It
10. you have to have the barcode battler to play that game
9. that game isn’t compatible with any nintendo system
8. that game is already reserved for me
7. (offer a bribe)
6. execute a psycho crusher through this person to the game
5. take a hostage
4. i lost a contact lens — dont move!
3. sneeze on the game
2. hey! is that cindy crawford?
1. i’m buying the game for an orphanage
Top 10 Things Men Understand About Women
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Boyfriend vs. Girlfriend
TO MY DEAR GIRLFRIEND,
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren’t in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn’t want to mess up your new hair-do
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not
satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there’s a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
————————————–
TO MY DEAR BOYFRIEND,
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn’t get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn’t cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV
Of the times we did get together the reason I laid still was because
you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was , “Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?” The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
19 Things To Do In The Bathroom
Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate-
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,”May I borrow a highlighter?”
2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”
5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh sh**!! My glass eye!!”
6. Say “D***, this water is cold.”
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, “Now how did that get there?”
9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,”Whoa Easy boy !!”
11. Say,” Interesting….more sinkers than floaters”
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!
14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot”
15. Say, “D***, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your “Cross-Dressors Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, “Peek-a-boo!”
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free”
Bathroom Strategies for Men and Women
The Man’s Strategy for Going to the Bathroom:
1) Walk slowly and proudly up to the bathroom, make sure everyone knows that is where you are headed.
2) Enter the bathroom, and quickly check out the whole room
3) Look for the right urinal. This is how to pick your urinal: There must be at least one urinal between you and the next closest person (on either side) to you, if this is not available, take the urinal next to the wall, beside a ‘safe looking’ male. If this is also not available, glance at stalls, or leave bathroom, and return later, to get the right spot.
4) If proper urinal is available, approach urinal swiftly, looking straight ahead, never turning eyes or head. Another approach is to look at the floor, feet are always good as well.
5) Undo pants, relieve yourself as quickly as possible, keep head looking down (or eyes closed and head held looking up) this way no one will think you are trying to check them out.
6) Shake it off, put it back in your pants.
** Note Steps 7 and 8 are optional, but recommended in 45 of the 50 states.
7) Wash hands.
8 ) Attempt to dry hands. Look to see if a blow dryer or paper towel dispenser is close by. If not, your clothes will do just fine as a towel.
9) Exit bathroom, do NOT look back, you didn’t forget anything.
10) Check to see if your female companion has exited the bathroom before you, although highly unlikely, you must check anyway.
11) Wait patiently for her return, remember to NOT say things like, “Wow, what took you so long.”
———————————-
A Women’s Strategy for Going to the Bathroom:
1) Enter bathroom, and start checking each stall, but do NOT check the first one, first one is bad luck, even if tests prove that it’s always the cleanest. Look to see what stall is the nicest looking, deciding only after checking every available stall.
2) Decide which is the cleanest stall, and try to get to it before that other bitch who entered when you did.
3) Mutter “Slut” under breath, when she grabs the stall you wanted, and make a run for the one you wanted, or that skank who entered after you will get it.
4) Hang jacket and purse on hooks on door.
5) Take some toilet paper and wipe the seat, pretending you can wipe off all germs.
6) Line toilet seat with toilet paper! Germs are bad!
7) Start to take off all layers of required clothing, be sure nothing rests on the ground! Use all other hooks available if needed.
8 ) Sit down on toilet seat very lightly, as not to disturb layer of paper between you and the seat. Germs are bad!
9) Relax and let the flow go, but make sure your still sitting lightly, because the paper on the seat can’t move, or you’ll get germs!
10) Start to dispense the required amount of toilet paper from the roll. Fold into neat rectangle, and wipe all drips, very careful to not get germs from the seat!
11) Toss soiled toilet paper into toilet while standing up, watch out for the germs!
12) Start to put back on the 27 layers of clothing you were wearing, make sure it looks exactly like it did when you entered bathroom.
13) Put all toilet paper lining seat into toilet.
14) Flush.
15) Grab jacket and purse while unlocking door.
16) Walk to sink, and turn on tap.
17) Put hands under running water for at least 10 seconds.
18) Lather up with lots of soap, and be sure to get anywhere on hands that was exposed to germs!
19) Rinse soap off hands under water for another 10 seconds.
20) Look for paper towel, if there is none, mumble under breath, and stick hands under blow dryer for 4 minutes. NEVER WIPE HANDS ON CLOTHING! Make your move to counter/mirror section.
21) Put jacket to side, blocking that skank who was trying to get your stall from coming next to you, and make sure your as far away as possible from that bitch who took your stall.
22) Scoff at the way the bitch who took your stall looks. Her make-up is all wrong!
23) Spread out contents of purse on counter.
24) Touch up already perfect make-up, for no reason, be sure to take at least 2 minutes doing this.
25) Organize objects when putting back in purse, a messy purse is bad!
26) Put on jacket, laugh to self at that skank who wanted your stall her clothes are gross.
27) Walk out of bathroom, tossing head at the skank who is still putting make-up on, and make sure you gasp when the bitch who took your stall scoffs at you.
28) Find boyfriend outside, wonder how he gets done so fast … You were really quick this time!
Books Never Written
– “Let’s Go to the Moon,” by Hugo First
– “An Everflown River,” by P.A. Little
– “The History of Song,” by Mike Roffone
– “Peanut Butter And Jelly: Noon Time Snacks From Around the World,” by Sam Wich
– “How Do You Spell ‘Kat?'” by Ima Dope
– “Speaking Spanish,” by Mell Amo
– “10 Easy Steps to Denial,” By Itwa Sentme
– “The Adventures of Sure-Locked Homes” – an anti-burglary booklet
Funny Names
1.)Al Dente
2.)Al Fresco
3.)Anita Bath
4.)Barb Dwyer
5.)Bob Katz
6.)Bud Light
7.)Candy Kane
8.)Casey Macy
9.)Chris Cross
10.)Dick Tator
11.)Dusty Rhodes
12.)Eaton Wright
13.)Liv Good
14.)Faith Christian
15.)Gail Storm
16.)Gil Fish
17.)Harry Cary
18.)Harry Potter
19.)Harry Rump
20.)Jean Poole
21.)Justin Case
22.)Justin Time
23.)Kerry Oki
24.)Lance Boyle
25.)Les Moore
26.)Lou Pole
27.)Luke Warm
28.)Marlon Fisher
29.)Marty Graw
30.)Mary Christmas
31.)Max Little
32.)Max Power
33.)Mia Hamm
34.)Mike Rotch
35.)Mike Raffone
36.)Minny van Gogh
37.)Mo Lestor
38.)Neil Down
39.)Ophelia Payne
40.)Pat McCann
41.)Penny Lane
42.)Penny Wise
43.)Pete Moss
44.)Pierce Deere
45.)Price Wright
46.)Rick O’Shea
47.)Rick Shaw
48.)Rip Torn
49.)Russell Leeves
50.)Rusty Irons
51.)Rusty Steele
52.)Seymour Butz
53.)Shanda Lear
54. 55. and 56.)Skip Dover, Ben Dover, Eileen Dover
57.)Tom Katt
58.)Warren Peace
59.)Warren T.
15 Things You Don’t Want To Hear in Surgery
1. Wow this is just like a balloon.
2. Did you say left or right arm?
3. Let’s Eat.
4. That organ is leaking.
5. My ring fell in there.
6. Come on guys. We can make it fit.
7. What color is the vein again.
8. If I cut fast enough will the blood still be blue?
9. This guy has kidneys like a camel. Let’s take one.
10. He must eat a lotta McDonalds!
11. BREAK TIME!
12. She waited 20 years! What’s another day?
13. I’m just a little jumpy.
14. I have split personalities!
15. This should make a nice ash tray….
Bad Pick Up Lines
– Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money for it?
– I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
– My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.
– You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause you’re the Bomb.
– If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
– Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I’ve seem to have lost mine.
– I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house.
– You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what’s one more going to hurt?
– Date me if I’m wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
– Excuse me, do you wanna date, or should I apologize?
– You must be Jamaican, because Ja-maican me crazy.
– Are your legs tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day long.
– Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.
– Your awfly perrrtay.
– Love is like a box of chocolates and your full of sour cream and mustard with cheese wiz.
– Excuse me, do you think it could be possible, if there’s a chance, that if you want to go somewhere, and have no one to go with. And perhaps call me. Then we could go out. Maybe a in a unit. That is only speaking in certain terms….yak yak.
– Were you a Girl Scout? Because you have tied my heart in a knot.
– Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cause every time I see you, you turn me on!
– Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Jeffrey and you’re… gorgeous!
– Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
– If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.
– Did it hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven?
– I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away.
– You are under arrest for robbery. You stole my heart.
Actual (Stupid) Label Instructions
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
– On Sears hairdryer: “Do not use while sleeping”. [Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair]
– On a bag of Fritos: “You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside”. [Evidently, the shoplifter special]
– On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” [And that would be how…?]
– On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestions: Defrost.” [But it’s *just* a suggestion]
– On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): “Do not turn upside down”. [Oops, too late!]
– On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating”. [As sure as night follows the day…]
– On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body”. [But wouldn’t this save even more time?]
– On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication”. [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]
– On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness” [One would hope]
– On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only”. [As opposed to what?]
– On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use”. [I gotta admit, I’m curious].
– On Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: Contains nuts”. [NEWS FLASH]
– On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.” [Step 3: Fly Delta]
– On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly”. [I don’t blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]
Only in America…
Only in America…
…can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
…do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
…do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage
…do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
…do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight
…do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
…do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
…can a vocalist get rich by singing the blues.
“You’re So Stupid” Insults
These can also double as “Your mom is so stupid that…” or “Your mom is so stupid…” or “I knew a Blonde so stupid that…” or “You’re so dumb that…” or “Your mom so dumb that…” or “Your mamma/momma so stupid that…”
–
You’re so stupid…
…you sent me a fax with a stamp on it!
…you thought a quarter back was a refund!
…you tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!
…you thought Boyz II Men was a day care center!
…you thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools! (not that many kids know who Eartha Kitt is, she’s a singer)
…you thought General Motors was in the Army!
…you thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats!
…you thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday!
…under “education” on job applications you put “Hooked on Phonics”!
…you tried to drown a fish!
…you tripped over the cordless phone!
…you stared at the orange juice carton because it said “concentrate”!
…you got stabbed in a shoot out!
…you asked me to meet you at the corner of “WALK” and “DON’T WALK”!
…they had to burn down the school to get you out of 3rd grade!
…on applications that say “Sign Here” you put “Libra!”
…at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”… you put “Sagittarius.”
…you asked for a price check at the Dollar Store!
…it takes you 3 hours to watch “60 Minutes!”
…you studied for a blood test and failed!
…you tried to buy tokens to get on to “Soul Train!”
…when you saw under 17 not admitted at the movies you went out and got 16 friends!
…when you heard 90% of accidents happen at home you moved!
…you think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company!
…you think Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
…when you missed the #44 bus you took the #22 bus twice instead!
…when the sign said Airport Left you turned around and went home!
…you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!
…you sold your car for gas money!
…you got trapped in a grocery store and starved to death.
…you sat on the TV and watched the couch.
…you called me to get my phone number.
…you put lipstick on your forehead because you wanted to make up your mind.
…if I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I’d get change back.
…they had to burn the school down to get you out of third grade.
…you took a ruler to bed to see how long you slept.
…if you spoke your mind, you’d probably be speechless.
…you got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.
…you jumped off a cliff to see if the wings on your maxi pads would make you fly!
…you locked yourself in a bathroom and pissed in your pants.
…you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
…you asked someone how to spell “TV.”
…you bought a solar-powered flashlight.
…you looked in the lake and saw a reflection of yourself, jumped in, and tried to save yourself from drowning.
…you grabbed a bowl when I said it was chilly outside.
…you left me a voicemail by screaming into my mailbox.
…you went to the beach to surf the internet.
…you stuck a phone up your ass to make a booty call.
…you went to get a ladder when you heard drinks were on the house.
…you went to the library to find Facebook.
…you went to the dentist to get your Bluetooth fixed.
…you sprayed a tree with Axe body spray and thought it would fall down.
…you tried to climb Mountain Dew.
…when you took a survey that asked you your sex you put in “M, F, and sometimes Wednesday”
…you bought tickets to Xbox Live.
…you went to Babies R Us and asked where the babies were.
…you fell up a flight of stairs.
…when your TV got stolen, you chased the robber shouting “You forgot the remote!”
…you made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
…you returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
…when you were in court, the Judge said “Order” and you said “Fries and a Coke, please.”
…it took you an hour to make one minute rice.
…you got fired from a blow job.
…you got hit by a cup and told the police you got mugged.
…you stood on a chair to raise your IQ.
…you had to ask what the number was for “9-1-1.”
…when you saw the “On Air” sign you said, “Let’s go down, I’m afraid of heights.”
…when a zombie said it wanted brains, it walked right past you.
…you went to a pipe company looking for YouTube.
…when people said you killed the vibe, you went to the police and said “Arrest me, I’m a murderer.”
…you stood on a chair to raise your IQ.
…when you saw a nickel, you said “I’m going to give this to Jefferson!”
…when someone gives you a piece of paper with ‘please turn over’ written on both sides, it’ll keep you busy for hours.
…you put a quarter in each ear and thought you were listening to 50 Cent.
…you bought Norton antivirus when you had a cold.
–
Below are specific to the following versions of “You’re So Stupid” insults
–
Your momma so stupid…
…she loved you!
Interesting Facts
1. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; “7” was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. “UP” indicated the direction of the bubbles.
2. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
3. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
4. American car horns beep in the tone of F.
5. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
6. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
7. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
8. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
9. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
10. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
11. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
12. A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.
13. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
14. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.”
15. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
16. The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of Varieties of pickles the company once had.
17. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
18. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
19. The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
20. Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
21. Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
22. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
23. Adolf Hitler’s mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
25. All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn’t like being seen wearing them in public.
26. Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
27. The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly
28. Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
29. Pearls melt in vinegar.
30. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year’s supply of footballs.
31. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
32. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
33. Average life span of a major league baseball: seven pitches.
34. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo and no one knows why.
35. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
36. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
37. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
38. The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
39. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
40. There are more chickens than people in the world.
41. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
42. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
43. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
44. All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20.
45. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
46. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”
47. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial, on the back of the $5 bill.
48. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
49. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
50. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
51. There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
52. Los Angeles’ full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula”
53. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
54. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
55. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
56. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
57. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
58. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street, were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life,”
59. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
60. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
61. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
62. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
63. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
64. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
65. The microwave was invented, after a researcher walked by a radar tube, and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
66. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
67. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
68. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
69. “Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
70. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face it gets mad at you but when you take the dog in a car it sticks its head out the window?
71. Sometimes…when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes…when you are happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just one time….
72. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!
73. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE.
74. David Duchovny was in a porno series called the Red Shoe Diaries where he read letters from people telling him a story, reading it aloud for his dog. He never got any, actually, in the show.
75. The main character from Pay It Forward died from a stomach wound
76. Dacky was made in paint by Fajita Bum
77. You CAN get into trouble for calling a white guy Aunt Jemima and calling him that name 10 times a day for a year
78. The AAA DOES NOT care about right triangles
79. Tiger’s Hit Clips don’t play the whole song. You buy less than a song
80. The cards in Guess Who? don’t actually talk
81. All the pets in really old movies over 10 years, are all (most likely) dead
82. Tagalong Girl Scout cookies cost 20 cents a cookie, at $3.00 a box of 15