Tag Archives: cigarette

You Might Be a Redneck If…

You Might Be a Redneck If…

…you are one armadillo away from a new pair of boots.

…you clean your fingernails with a stick.

…you never need a menu at Dairy Queen.

…something hisses at you every time you peer into your crawl space.

…the Salvation Army declines your mattress.

…your four-year-old grandson has ever said, “mommy won’t let me light the fireworks with grandpa’s cigarettes anymore.”

…you always take a penny but never leave one.

…your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.

…your child’s first words were “Attention K-Mart shoppers.”

…your wife’s “indoor voice” can be heard a block away.

…someone hits your parked car and you don’t care.

…your idea of talking during sex is “Ain’t no cars coming, baby!”

…your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

…you regularly light your cigarettes off a stovetop burner.

…you use a ShamWow as a doily.

…your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Bizarro Facebook #22529: Annual Deaths From Marijuana

A friend on Facebook posted this picture, which prompted the following conversation (I was being facetious, on purpose, but Oliver couldn’t get that from what I was saying, apparently):

Annual Deaths From Marijuana


Oliver Potisillegal: Damn peanuts, you scary!

davepoobond: couldnt you say that there are no deaths in marijuana because the government has done a very good job of limiting the adverse affects of the abuse of the drugs?

Oliver Potisillegal: David – The gov’t has done nothing to limit any adverse effects of the most widely available dangerous drugs; prescription drugs. Vicodin, oxycontin, xanax, adderall, codeine, and other opiates. So yeah I stand by my statement. by pushing people into more dangerous drugs, including alcohol, and tobacco instead of cannabis, the government has only lined the pockets of big pharma and the cartels.

davepoobond: well, that would be a fallacious argument. just because they havent done anything for other things doesn’t mean they didn’t do anything for the prior. just sayin!

Oliver Potisillegal: My point remains valid, just because nobody has died of cannabis through direct use, doesn’t mean it can be attributed to the government’s efforts. There’s hard evidence that the gov’t has done the contrary. This countries drug policies are seriously outdated, cause more harm than good and are pushing people into illicit black markets. Despite that, why hasn’t there been a single documented case of cannabis toxicity/overdose/whatever?

davepoobond: thats because we havent put a bunch of people that just hit the bong behind the wheel and say “let’s see what happens” yet

Oliver Potisillegal: As a matter of fact, yes,


davepoobond: then why do it at all

Oliver Potisillegal: Because If one decides to do it at all, it’s their choice and right, not the government’s. Besides I find it very hypocritical for society to push a culture of alcoholism and tobacco use yet at the same time vilify cannabis as a scourge when the real scourge is right in front of their noses. Despite that, I’d never condone outlawing alcohol or tobacco because well, it simply does not work. Do you remember reading about alcohol prohibition? The same thing is happening now, except that instead of going after the Al Capones and Nucky Johnsons, they’re going after patients and their caregivers. If you still do not believe of the benefits of cannabis vs. prescription drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, then this list will help clarify that cannabis is indeed useful to humanity:


Oliver Potisillegal: I’m enjoying this little debate, but seriously, our country’s antiquated drug laws are in need of serious reform. Too many people are being put away for possessing a plant. During its 4,000 year history of human use, cannabis has been medicine longer than it’s been a “dangerous narcotic.”

davepoobond: I don’t see how you can argue that society “pushes” a culture of alcoholism and tobacco use. The opposite is true. In fact I would say I was MORE pushed into smoking weed than either of the other two, which I never partook in tobacco or marijuana, and rarely for alcohol. So I still don’t understand what the point of smoking weed is if it doesn’t inhibit anything otherwise what is the point

Gloria: david, just look at the ads on TV, or in any magazine. you will find your answers.

Oliver Potisillegal: By point do you mean to get high? Because from a recreation viewpoint that’s the point of weed. I mean what’s the point of alcohol, to get intoxicated, right? However, there are additional medical benefits to marijuana than simply to get “high.” I’m not going into specific details because you can look it up on your own. You may not see any point, but more and more people including me, see it differently.

davepoobond: gloria, the only ads on tv that i see for tobacco are anti-use ads. also, magazines? this isn’t the 90s. print is not a influential form of media nowadays and will continue to decline. not to mention the top 4 magazines, including two AARP magazine publications, Better Homes and Gardens, and Game Informer would probably not ever have a print ad for a cigarette or even any alcohol brands. hard alcohol ads have only started appearing in the past couple years and they are heavily regulated, not to mention they arent even allowed to show anyone “drinking” the alcohol. And the most heavily advertised beers, like Bud Light and Coors Light are practically water anyway and the way they advertise isn’t as convincingly evil as you would make it out to be.

oliver, there are “additional benefits” to drinking alcohol as well. wine, for instance. i’m not gonna say any tobacco product has any “health benefits” but people can argue that there are just as easily as people who argue that marijuana has medical benefits as well.

Oliver Potisillegal: You realize that it’s not the alcohol itself that’s adding the benefits, but the polyphenols that are antioxydants. And you can argue whatever benefits alcohol may have all night, but that’s missing the point of my post entirely.

Second, this isn’t the 90’s? Have you picked up a copy of Rolling Stone? because I can point out at least 3-4 ads in your average issue for Bud Light, Stella Artois, Heineken, Absolut, Sky, should I continue?

Oliver Potisillegal: When one is inundated with alcohol and cig ads their whole life, one becomes desensitized and may not perceive any “evil.” My point is give me a choice, it’s my right, not the government’s.

davepoobond: so then once marijuana becomes legal how do you perceive marijuana ads doing the same thing alcohol and tobacco ads are doing? not as bad because why?

davepoobond: and rolling stone is not a kids magazine. you’re not giving people enough credit by saying they don’t already have a choice to choose to do the things they want to do.

davepoobond: you already have access to the marijuana you have and you already have the means to justify that it has no adverse effects on livelihood and presents no danger to anyone. you want to legalize it for what reason? to rationalize that it “isn’t bad for you” in the eyes of the government? what does it matter, you’re already doing it if you are and you’re already choosing to not do it if you don’t want to. the only reason to make the government not make it illegal is so that you can see advertising and see it in a grocery store, both of which are moot points because you already have access and the advertising doesn’t exactly appeal to anyone.

He never responded.

Joke #18651

Desperate for a unique Halloween costume for an up-coming party, my friend, Jessica had an inspired idea.

She put on a slinky dress and fishnet stockings, and then balanced a small table-top on her head. Affixed to it was a lamp, a champagne glass and an ashtray with two cigarette butts.

She went as a ‘one night stand’……and won first prize!

Generation Gap

I found this.


(Dad is watching TV in the living room while smoking a cigarette)


Johnny: Oh my god dad, what are you doing?  Don’t smoke cigarettes in the house, it smells.  I don’t appreciate it when you are always smoking in the house.  I don’t wanna die of 2nd hand smoke.


Dad: Shut up.  I am the ruler of the house.  Don’t argue with what I do or say, I am the LAW.


Johnny: Stop joking around dad.  (Pops out a cigarette) Fine then, you can do it, then so can I.


Dad: Ey, what the hell is going on?  When did you start smoking?


Johnny:  A long time ago dad.  I just never knew how to tell you and now is the perfect chance cuz you’re smoking and I can just smoke with you.


Mom: Oh god, Johnny started smoking?  Honey, aren’t you going to do something?


Dad: Sure honey.  (Gives Johnny a light)  There you go son.  Now that you’re starting to mature, I can tell you about all those little things that i never told you about before.


Grandma: Jim, don’t let Johnny smoke, its very unhealthy.  Back in my times when they didn’t really know that smoking was that bad for you health, it was alright.  Now they know that it leads to lung cancer and all these other diseases.  So educate your son.


Dad: As long as he doesn’t do drugs, its alright.  Smoking isn’t that bad.  As long as he isn’t smoking that opium stuff or anything else.


Johnny: What about weed, dad?  Weed isn’t a drug, is it?  It’s a plant that comes from the ground and you smoke it, and it makes you feel good.


Dad: Back in the 70’s, Weed was alright to smoke, partially cuz we had to smoke it in the Vietnam War.  The THC level in marijuana these days has increased by almost 50 times since then.  You shouldn’t smoke it, but if I told you not to smoke, I’d be a hippocrit.


Johnny:  Thanks for being so honest dad.


Dad:  I wish all parents were as honest as me.  Then they could communicate with their children better.  I just hope that we have a really good relationship.


Grandma: I remember that my husband used to smoke weed when he went to war and then he came back that he told me that it was everywhere and all the other soldiers smoked it, so then you had to smoke it with them.


Dad: May his soul rest in peace.


Mom: Could we please not talk about father?  He reminds me of a sad time within our life when there was no happiness.


Dad: Sure, honey.  Let’s all stop talking about it.  Who wants to have the daily family discussion?


Mom: So, what kind of music does everybody enjoy listening to?  I’ve heard those new tunes these days and that rap music really disturbs me.


Johnny: Why don’t you like it mother, it’s a hip beat and you go with the flow.


Mom: All that profanity and vulgar language disturbs me. They always talk about Weed here, sex here, and some more sex there, violence, killing, and I mean, come on now, what kind of music is that?


Johnny: Better than that disco crap that dad used to listen to.  You and your afros and afro picks, I mean come on.  With those, sorry to say, but gay looking clothes, I mean flares on girls these days is alright, but come on.  Flares on guys, you looked really gay.


Dad: Are you dissing my heritage, dude?  That’s not cool.


Johnny: Stop trying to be funny dad.  Don’t try to talk like us, when you aren’t one of us.


Dad: That’s it.  I’m sick of this nonsense.  You’re grounded, you’re staying home until you graduate high school and turn 18 then you can get out of my house, but until then, you are gonna have to stay in your room all day.  GO study and do some homework and don’t get on that phone again.


Johnny:  This is bullshit.  This sucks.


Mom: Listen to your father honey, before he gets more angry.


Grandma: You’re just overreacting son.  Don’t worry Johnny, just go up to your room and I’ll bring you some pie and some pizza, ok?


Johnny: Thanks grandma, I love you…


Grandma: Me Too Johnny.