Generation Gap

I found this.


(Dad is watching TV in the living room while smoking a cigarette)


Johnny: Oh my god dad, what are you doing?  Don’t smoke cigarettes in the house, it smells.  I don’t appreciate it when you are always smoking in the house.  I don’t wanna die of 2nd hand smoke.


Dad: Shut up.  I am the ruler of the house.  Don’t argue with what I do or say, I am the LAW.


Johnny: Stop joking around dad.  (Pops out a cigarette) Fine then, you can do it, then so can I.


Dad: Ey, what the hell is going on?  When did you start smoking?


Johnny:  A long time ago dad.  I just never knew how to tell you and now is the perfect chance cuz you’re smoking and I can just smoke with you.


Mom: Oh god, Johnny started smoking?  Honey, aren’t you going to do something?


Dad: Sure honey.  (Gives Johnny a light)  There you go son.  Now that you’re starting to mature, I can tell you about all those little things that i never told you about before.


Grandma: Jim, don’t let Johnny smoke, its very unhealthy.  Back in my times when they didn’t really know that smoking was that bad for you health, it was alright.  Now they know that it leads to lung cancer and all these other diseases.  So educate your son.


Dad: As long as he doesn’t do drugs, its alright.  Smoking isn’t that bad.  As long as he isn’t smoking that opium stuff or anything else.


Johnny: What about weed, dad?  Weed isn’t a drug, is it?  It’s a plant that comes from the ground and you smoke it, and it makes you feel good.


Dad: Back in the 70’s, Weed was alright to smoke, partially cuz we had to smoke it in the Vietnam War.  The THC level in marijuana these days has increased by almost 50 times since then.  You shouldn’t smoke it, but if I told you not to smoke, I’d be a hippocrit.


Johnny:  Thanks for being so honest dad.


Dad:  I wish all parents were as honest as me.  Then they could communicate with their children better.  I just hope that we have a really good relationship.


Grandma: I remember that my husband used to smoke weed when he went to war and then he came back that he told me that it was everywhere and all the other soldiers smoked it, so then you had to smoke it with them.


Dad: May his soul rest in peace.


Mom: Could we please not talk about father?  He reminds me of a sad time within our life when there was no happiness.


Dad: Sure, honey.  Let’s all stop talking about it.  Who wants to have the daily family discussion?


Mom: So, what kind of music does everybody enjoy listening to?  I’ve heard those new tunes these days and that rap music really disturbs me.


Johnny: Why don’t you like it mother, it’s a hip beat and you go with the flow.


Mom: All that profanity and vulgar language disturbs me. They always talk about Weed here, sex here, and some more sex there, violence, killing, and I mean, come on now, what kind of music is that?


Johnny: Better than that disco crap that dad used to listen to.  You and your afros and afro picks, I mean come on.  With those, sorry to say, but gay looking clothes, I mean flares on girls these days is alright, but come on.  Flares on guys, you looked really gay.


Dad: Are you dissing my heritage, dude?  That’s not cool.


Johnny: Stop trying to be funny dad.  Don’t try to talk like us, when you aren’t one of us.


Dad: That’s it.  I’m sick of this nonsense.  You’re grounded, you’re staying home until you graduate high school and turn 18 then you can get out of my house, but until then, you are gonna have to stay in your room all day.  GO study and do some homework and don’t get on that phone again.


Johnny:  This is bullshit.  This sucks.


Mom: Listen to your father honey, before he gets more angry.


Grandma: You’re just overreacting son.  Don’t worry Johnny, just go up to your room and I’ll bring you some pie and some pizza, ok?


Johnny: Thanks grandma, I love you…


Grandma: Me Too Johnny.



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