coach – n. someone who is willing to lay down your life for the school.
Tag Archives: school
Joke #11051
Q: Should kids with head colds go to school?
A: It’s snot for me to say.
Joke #11039
Q: What do you call a sitcom about a kid who hates school?
A: “Butt-head of the Class.”
Silly Signs
– Sign in King Arthur’s court: Sign up now for knight school.
– Sign in speech class: No silence allowed.
– Sign in a cafeteria in Holland: Mothers, please wash your Hans before eating.
– Sign in the headquarters of the 7th Cavalry: Custer blew the Little Big Horn
– Sign in a flight school: No crash courses given here.
– Sign in the office of a hippie dermatologist: Give me some skin, man!
– Sign in a sign-language class: Please talk with your hands.
– Sign in a theater: Shakespeare married an Avon lady.
– Sign in medical school: Orthopedists get all the breaks.
– Sign in a doctor’s office: If you’re not completely satisfied with our cure, your disease cheerfully refunded.
– Sign in a crook’s hideout: Warning! The police are armed and dangerous.
– Sign near a frozen lake along a historical route: George Washington slipped here.
– Sign in a doctor’s office: An apple a day is bad for business.
– Sign in a realtor’s office: Give me land, lots of land, and I’ll build condominiums and make a fortune.
– Sign in a beauty salon: W work so hard that we’ll even dye for you!
– Sign in a sleazy cafeteria: Our silverware is not medicine – don’t take it after eating!
– Sign in a garden: Beware of vegetarians!
– Sign next to a deep-fryer in a kitchen: We melt the fat away.
– Sign in a dentist’s office: Good oral hygiene is bad for business.
– Sign in a cannibal’s hut: I never met a man I didn’t like.
– Sign in a cafeteria: Shoes required to eat in the cafeteria.
Penciled-in afterthought: Socks can eat wherever they want to.
– Sign in a gymnasium: We tell you everything you always wanted to know about strength, but were too weak to ask.
– Sign in an I.R.S. office: In God we trust. Everyone else we audit.
– Sign in a beach house: Bully permit required to kick sand in the faces of 98 lb. weaklings.
– Sign in a generating plant: We have the power to make you see the light.
– Sign on a jeweler’s shop: If your watch doesn’t tick, tock to us.
– Sign in a funeral home: Pay or don’t die.
– Sign in front of an oceanography class: Open only to students who can keep above C-level.
– Sign in a Vassar math class: Girls, watch your figures.
– Sign in an Italian class: Speak Italian, but don’t talk with your hands.
– Sign in a new math class: In here, we follow the liter.
– Sign in an old-age home: We’re not deaf. We just heard everything worth hearing already.
– Sign in a post office: Postal workers are sissies. They can’t even lick stamps.
– Sign on the door of a fencing school: Back in one hour — out to lunge.
– Sign on the screen (during intermission of a killer bee movie): Don’t leave. This is only the calm before the swarm.
– Sign in a tailor’s shop: I am a man of the cloth.
– Sign in a witches’ coven: We came. We saw. We conjured.
– Sign in a chicken coop: Caution. Fowl language spoken here.
– Sign in a Pawnbroker’s shop: See us at your earliest inconvenience.
– Sign in the window of a store: Our Going Out of Business sale was such a success, we’re having another one next month.
– Sign in a prison biology class: Study your cells.
– Sign on a pet store for a litter of dachshund pups: Get a long little doggie.
– Sign on a pet store for an opossum: A peticularly good possumbility.
– Sign on a pet store for an Angora rabbit: A rare bit of company.
– Sign on a pet store for Siamese kittens: Take both — they’re attached to each other.
– Safety Sign in a Karate cooking class: Wok, do not run.
– Sign for “The King of the Jungle Moving Company”: We Don’t Take Your Move Lion Down
– Sign in a clothing store: Wonderful bargains for me with 16 and 17 necks.
– Sign in the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
– Sign in a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
– Sign on a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
– On a safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket: If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member.
– Sign in a shop in Maine: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
– Sign on a delicatessen wall: Our best is none too good.
– Sign in a cocktail lounge in Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
– Sign in a city restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
– Sign in a Japanese hotel: “You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.”
– Sign in the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
– From a menu from Poland: Salad a firm’s own make; Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; Roasted duck let loose; Beef rashers beaten in the country people’s fashion.
– Sign in a Hong Kong Supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
– From the “Soviet Weekly:” There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
– Sign on the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to Moscow, you are welcome to it.
– Sign in a laundry in Rome: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Joke #10741
Q: Why do fish swim in schools?
A: Because they can’t walk in schools.
Joke #10711
Q: What bee does well in school?
A: A spelling bee.
DailyTitan
DailyTitan – n. a crappy school newspaper
Ex. I don’t want that DailyTitan.
Sunday is a Great Day for Unmitigated Bargaining
So, there was some stupid lady customer at work today.
She got a package of books that was 124.90 or somethin, and said that it was supposed to be like 90 something. So she brought down the book she bought along with another package that encased similar books (but not the exact same books) that was "in the same stack."
She has already bought the more expensive package and wanted a price adjustment to make the more expensive one into the lower-priced one.
I could tell right away when I looked at both of the packages, I told her, "these are different books."
She wouldn’t have it. She was stubborn in that she should still get a price adjustment, since the shelf tag said that the book she bought was supposed to be lower than what she paid.
To make matters worse, one of the textbook reps said it was okay to do the price adjustment. They probably didn’t notice that there were different books in the packages.
It just so happened that the book manager was there, so she asked what was happening, just as I was about to call her. After explaining the situation again, the customer went off on the manager saying "well, they said I could do it upstairs!" to which the book manager said "I don’t know why they did that, since *I* am the manager."
To explain the situation more plainly, the customer wanted to buy a completely different package of books priced at its own price for a completely different package of books priced lower than the one she bought, seemingly regardless of which package she actually needed.
Eventually the customer accused us of price fraud because we charged her more than the "advertised price" and wouldn’t adjust the price, saying "OH OK SO ITS MY FAULT THAT THEY PLACED BOOKS IN THE WRONG STACK."
She eventually stormed off after accusing us after accusing us of price fraud like 3 times, but wouldn’t even go with the book manager to look at the prices for the books. The shelf tags say right on them which ISBN is at which price, as well.
Not to mention it was painfully obvious that the included books were different from each other, she obviously didn’t even know which one she actually needed since she thought both packages were the same.
ra’anan
ra’anan – n. an elementary school kid tested for blood alcohol content
shikklebomb
shikklebomb – v. to be screwed by someone in the school system. Litterally or not.
Ex. I’ve been shikklebombed!
Test10
We got a new email system for my school and some idiot IT guy sent a mass mail to everyone, leaving the “cluster name” in the To: field so that everyone can reply to it. And people started replying to it. And it goes to everyone.
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From: Goo, Simon [mailto:sgoo]
Sent: Wed 8/30/2006 3:46 PM
Subject: test10
Test10
Simon Goo
CSU Fullerton
Information Technology
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Fri 9/8/2006 6:53 PM
From bs:
What is test 10?
your mail is not clear to me
Bha. Su
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Fri 9/8/2006 8:31 PM
From cobian:
Why are you responding to email to “Simon Goo” at my email address? This is not Simon Goo’s email. Please make note.
-Alison Cobian
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Fri 9/8/2006 9:12 PM
From fv312:
I apologize for any inconvenience but I do not know who any of these contacts are. I would appreciate it if I could stop receiving mail from the contacts listed above. Thank you and again I apologize for any inconvenience.
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Fri 9/8/2006 11:08 PM
From ashleypark:
I apologize for any inconvenience but I do not know who any of these contacts are. I would appreciate it if I could stop receiving mail from the contacts listed above. Thank you and again I apologize for any inconvenience.
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Fri 9/8/2006 11:16 PM
From BeatriceNistor:
Please Stop adding the “DL-Stuexchcluster1” its why we’re all getting the mail
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Fri 9/8/2006 11:22 PM
From cmonge:
I also do not understand why I am receiving emails. Therefore please delete my email address from contacts. I do not know anyone of the contacts. Thank you
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Fri 9/8/2006 11:38 PM
From dannyphan03:
It’s pretty obvious that they’re testing the new email system. Simon Goo is the IT guy….so chill out people and stop sending these email to everyone…it’s getting pretty annoying. Thank you all
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Fri 9/8/2006 11:48 PM
From lv3tj:
Um.. i dont know any of u.. but.. i hope that this email thing.. stops soon!
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Sat 9/9/2006 12:04 AM
From EFeldman:
This is the funniest thing ever.
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Sat 9/9/2006 12:35 AM
From madenchina:
my god people… its clear that none of us know each other… if your lonely this is not the way to make friends… for god sakes this thing will stop when we stop responding to each other… oviously this has no importance of any kind so who gives a crap about what this is or what its for just dont respond to it! i hope that the message is clear enough: DONT PUSH THE DAM RETURN KEY!!!! if u c it leave it DEL this letter and DO NOT write a return message to this and it will stop!!!
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Sat 9/9/2006 1:18 AM
From echoi:
hqahahahahaha…imma add to the problem.. lol
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Sat 9/9/2006 1:19 AM
From echoi, again:
lol….just adding to the problem…lol…stress freaks
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Sat 9/9/2006 10:41 AM
From evphan:
me too i want to add to the problem 😉
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Sat 9/9/2006 11:18 AM
From anthonyha:
just using this opportunity to let you all know that i’m dead sexy
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Sat 9/9/2006 12:10 PM
From c_raquel_a:
The Simon Goo Test 10 was a system test of all email through CSUF. No response or request to be removed from the contact list is necessaary, ie.. if you are deleted it means no more email from anyone.
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Sat 9/9/2006 1:53 PM
From cindyguerrero:
Please stop sending e mail to my adress, I don’t know any of these people I am not Simon Goo
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Sat 9/9/2006 1:58 PM
From Ammar S. Amirkhizi :
Dear Simon,
This is turning into something like hotmail or yahoo e-mail accounts and I’m sure many of us don’t like to monitor our e-mails for spam.
It seems that some students do not have the ability to recognise that this is a student e-mail account and it is not to be used for spamming.
Please take the necessary actions for them to behave in an educated manner.
Sincerely,
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Sat 9/9/2006 2:11 PM
From jeschultz21:
Perhaps this is a mistake, but just to let you know that I am receiving this e-mail from you and I don’t know why.
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Sat 9/9/2006 2:22 PM
From spimentel23:
i’m receiving this as well.
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Sat 9/9/2006 2:34 PM
From lneumann:
do i know you people and what is test10?
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Sat 9/9/2006 2:37 PM
From be188207:
i dont know what is going on, i never sent mail to any of these addresses so in the future disreguard any messages from this user. Thanks
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Sat 9/9/2006 2:52 PM
From gonzales:
I don’t know any of you & i keep getting these emails about test10. PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME!! CHECK THE SPELLING OF THE EMAIL ADDRESSES YOU ARE SENDING TO!
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Sat 9/9/2006 2:55 PM
From jamiebarber:
why do i keep getting a million Test10 emails. Annoying!!
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Sat 9/9/2006 2:59 PM
From Lea Bagtas:
It seems to be that “Test10” is just what it states, a test. It may or may not be a spam. Nonetheless, if you wish to reply to email TEST10 or anything related to it, please make sure that you are using the “reply”, or “reply to sender” button instead of the “reply to all”.
This way, no one is getting redundant emails or blanket emails. I have received over 5 emails, all of which had nothing to do with me. I’m sure this is as much as an inconvenience to me as it is to others.
Thank you for your consideration.
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Sat 9/9/2006 3:04 PM
From lmkidwell892:
this is all going to my email as well. anybody know how to stop it because its kinda gettin annoying!!
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Sat 9/9/2006 3:11 PM
From kendiewendie:
PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST NOW!!!!! I DO NOT WANT THESE EMIALS ABOUT TEST 10 THANK YOU
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Sat 9/9/2006 3:18 PM
From gcon:
Can you please take me off of your mailing list! Test 10??? :/ Who are you guys? and why am i receiving mail from you??
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Sat 9/9/2006 3:21 PM
From Peter Martinez:
Yes, the main e-mail address list got leaked… somehow it started w/ IT sending out an e-mail to the “clusters” which probably means every student e-mail account.
Think of it as a huge myspace bulletin … yes, kind of annoying…
Peter
Chair, SOAR-CICC
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Sat 9/9/2006 3:23 PM
From EJB1188:
I think this will spam to everyone..I’m testing it out!
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Sat 9/9/2006 3:58 PM
From chris.nguyen:
wth? I have recieved over 35! 35! of these emails…please stop sending!
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Soon after, the e-mails stopped coming. And then all of a sudden they were all deleted from my inbox.
In conclusion, it would have gone on for eternity, since there’s like 32,000 people at my school. Idiots.
Joke #9287: The Play’s the Sting
Matt’s dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got one.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he had. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.”
“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”
Joke #9267: The Pusher
A little girl in her Sunday-best was running as fast as she could to get to Sunday school on time.
As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late. Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late.”
At that moment she tripped and fell getting her clothes all dirty.
She got up, brushed herself off and started running again, praying… “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late, but don’t shove me anymore!”
Joke #9259: Nocturnal Omission
A Sunday School teacher asked her class, “Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?”
A small girl replied, “Aren’t those the sins we should have committed, but didn’t?”
Joke #9146
With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, James’ schedule was hectic.
To add to this, he kept running out of household supplies.
James instructed his family to let him know when they used the last of any item by writing it down on a note pad on the refrigerator.
As a reminder, he wrote at the top: “IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT DOWN.”
When James checked the pad a few days later, he found the following message:
“MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT ‘OUT OF IT.”‘