Submitted through the Quicky Joke submission form.
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This form was submitted: May 20 2008 / 19:42:55
name = bitch plz
qjoke = What do boys do after having sex?????????????????????they nut every got damn where and they nut in yo got damn mouth
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
“There’s more to me than meets the eye. I’ve got a mouth like a sailor”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Loading ...estofol – v. to bite your landlord
I wanna fly into the air!
I wanna take over the skies!
With my rotting bowl of carrots in hand!
I’ll shit all over the masses and fuck them over!
I have a ton of fucking carrots in my fucking bowl!
Remember when I used to swim through ranch dressing in a two-piece bikini?
Let me take them carrots and put them in my mouth, chew them up, and spit them on your face!
Q: Where did the dentist go on his vacation?
A: To the mouth of the Mississippi.
“i have like cock cock cock ass and mouth with cock in it”
– davepoobond
A church-going cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
The next morning a cow walked up carrying the Bible in it’s mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes!
He took the book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heaven-ward and exclaimed, “Praise God! It’s a miracle!”
“Not really….” said the cow. “Your name was written inside the cover.”
10. You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net.
9. Last thing you remember is positioning your open mouth behind a dump truck full of yams.
8. All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps.
7. While picking your teeth, you dislodge an angry construction worker.
6. Strangers keep addressing you as “Mr. President.”
5. This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read “Good Lord!”
4. You now have an butt the size of Plymouth Rock.
3. People keep looking at you and saying, “I thought the Macy’s Parade was over.”
2. Your relatives can’t go home because they’re stuck in your gravitational field.
1. You’re sweatin’ gravy, my friend!
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
PATIENT: “Thanks to your help, I no longer think I’m a kitty cat. How can I ever repay you?”
DOCTOR: “Well, for starters, you can take that ball of string out of your mouth.”
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a cow!”
DOCTOR: “Just open your mouth and say ‘moo.'”
Mr. Cummings went to see his doctor.
The physician couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw radishes growing out of Mr. Cummings’ mouth.
“Well, that’s unusual,” said the doctor.
“You’re not kidding!” replied Mr. Cummings. “I swallowed pumpkin seeds.”
forve – n. a hybridized kitchen utensil in which a knife and a fork have an illegitimate child, and you get a retarded fork called a forve. A forve is a fork that has one longer blade on it and cuts your mouth every time you put it in there to eat something.
“cover those mouths!”
– Mrs. Stickums