Bunnylol: (whispers me two Chinese words)
davepoobond: lol hi
Bunnylol: chinese
davepoobond: japanese
davepoobond: look at these!
Bunnylol: sorry
davepoobond: are you a girl?
Bunnylol: lol
Bunnylol: yes
davepoobond: can i ask u a question?
Bunnylol: no
davepoobond: y not?
davepoobond: do you like america?
Tag Archives: China
Joke #24416
How long is a Chinese name
#23298: chewy17171717 -> davepoobond
chewy17171717: hahhah i like your profile it matches mine
davepoobond: reallllly
chewy17171717: ya
chewy17171717: isn’t that so cool
chewy17171717: r u from china
davepoobond: definitely
chewy17171717: ?
davepoobond: oh yes i’m chinese
chewy17171717: what part
davepoobond: the place they speak mandarin
chewy17171717: hahah me too
chewy17171717: what part
davepoobond: coool
davepoobond: the place where they sell the fish frying in deep oil
chewy17171717: so what r u doin tonight
davepoobond: i’m going to jack off
davepoobond: what about you
chewy17171717: hey i have a kid in a room
davepoobond: a room?
davepoobond: what do you do with this kid in a room
chewy17171717: no my kid
chewy17171717: i um take care of it
chewy17171717: u perv its my kid
davepoobond: really?
chewy17171717: ok anyway
davepoobond: wait a seconddd
chewy17171717: actually i live in hong konk
chewy17171717: kong
davepoobond: your profile says you’re 14 and you go to catholic school
davepoobond: how can you have a kid
chewy17171717: i did like 3 weeks ago
chewy17171717: i need somone else to help me out
chewy17171717: like a father
davepoobond: and you think you’ll find one online
davepoobond: i getchya
chewy17171717: will u
chewy17171717: no im jk
chewy17171717: her name is Laurel
chewy17171717: i hate catholic skewls
chewy17171717: its so devestating
davepoobond: actually, i wouldn’t mind being your husband
chewy17171717: is your name dave
davepoobond: i’m 42, and have a decent job
davepoobond: yes i am
chewy17171717: really
chewy17171717: ooo u arn’t the pervert in the 17 magazine
chewy17171717: r u
davepoobond: no. i think he’s my cousin though
davepoobond: i’m a subscriber to it
davepoobond: i get every issue
chewy17171717: really have u read the recent one
davepoobond: i usually jack off to it everyday at 7:36 PM
davepoobond: no i haven’t
chewy17171717: what r the magazines about
davepoobond: i was going to open it at 7:33:23 to look through it
davepoobond: i dont know, i dont read the articles
davepoobond: there’s just stupid topics about stupid kids
davepoobond: i dont like them, i just fuck them
davepoobond: oops did i just say that
davepoobond: oh well
chewy17171717: hey im one those kids
chewy17171717: oo would u like to fuck me
davepoobond: well then, there goes by parole
davepoobond: sure
chewy17171717: your 42 and a redneck
chewy17171717: great
chewy17171717: what i always wanted
davepoobond: who says i’m a redneck?
chewy17171717: my name is Brigid
chewy17171717: i do
chewy17171717: sob
davepoobond: your profile says you’re julie
chewy17171717: jk
chewy17171717: hahah
chewy17171717: my bitch is fuckin me
davepoobond: oh no
chewy17171717: thats my friends name im spendin
chewy17171717: hahah jk
chewy17171717: so u must be one of those perverts arnt u
davepoobond: sure
chewy17171717: u guys r the ppl who did this to me
davepoobond: sowwy
chewy17171717: stop talken to me
davepoobond: i thought you wanted to fuck
davepoobond: you fuck
chewy17171717: um no
chewy17171717: excuse me but my daughter is to young
chewy17171717: u should no better
chewy17171717: u young kids should be thinking about skewl not girls
davepoobond: how old is she
chewy17171717: 9
davepoobond: so you had a baby when you were 5
chewy17171717: i think u would know better than that
chewy17171717: no this is the mother of the girl u just talked to
chewy17171717: so i said good day
–
Just then I get warned “anonymously.”
–
davepoobond: and then what did i say
Previous message was not received by chewy17171717 because of error: User chewy17171717 is not available.
The Truth About Recycling
Recycling is not all it’s cracked up to be. It isn’t going to save our planet by itself, but it does accomplish one thing for sure: it becomes a social burden on society.
We’ve all seen people digging through trash and random dumpsters for cans and bottles. Those five cents that we couldn’t care less for (it IS why it is in the trash can to begin with) are the major source of income for these types of people. In and of itself, it isn’t necessarily something that is bad or you have to feel bad about — these people somehow make their way in life by doing what they’re doing.
What recycling does, when taking this into account is create a class of these people who do nothing with their time but scavenge and dig through trash, with little to no assurance that they will make even a dime. Imagine having to wake up in the morning everyday and go on the same route, checking the same trash cans, day in and day out. Not only because its necessary, but they have no time to do anything to get out of the situation they are in — otherwise they wouldn’t have to do what they’re doing.
States that charge recycling fees profit big time from recyclables. They use the noble cause of recycling to charge you an extra tax, a majority of which will never be recovered from recycling. People then scam the State out of these extra taxes by filling up cans and bottles with sand or something to get higher weights when redeeming their recyclables. Then the people who receive these items then scam the State even more and bump up their numbers of received recyclables for a bulk rate. Then these recyclables are sold to major vendors who ship most of their stuff to China to be processed so that it can be re-sold back to us. Don’t even worry about how most of our recyclables that we toss into the bins is basically “free” money for the waste contractors who employ hundreds of penguins to go through and get all of the recyclables they can.
But this is all very grand and elaborate. You have to go back to the people who scour the world for recyclables because they have no other forms of income. It is sad, and if recycling were abolished, then that would force people to not want to carry around 50 pound trash bags full of cans or shopping carts full of bottles. Recycling may be good for the Earth, but its bad for society.
Quote #22776
“I’m half chinese and half white. So if you want to go out with me, a chinese girl, you gotta go out and eat dim sum with me. haha jk 😛 I love dim sum though.”
– from a girl’s dating profile
WoW Chat #22440 davepoobond -> Sandychris
In trade chat, Sandychris is selling expensive mounts and other stuff, so I say to her…
–
davepoobond: 20k each
Sandychris: sorry only real money.:P
davepoobond: gold is real money
Sandychris: lol i mean$
davepoobond: yeah, $20k
Sandychris: lol
davepoobond: thats what i wanna give you,,,,
Sandychris: sorry i dont wanna ur gold.:P
davepoobond: it is real gold
davepoobond: i just need a down payment to bring th gold into the country
Sandychris: i know, but we dont use it.:P
Sandychris: lol
Sandychris: how?
davepoobond: i need it to pay the customs fees
davepoobond: but i will pay you back with the gold, cause its actual bullion
Sandychris: lol thanks
davepoobond: but i need these mounts
davepoobond: i told you i would pay you real gold money
Sandychris: i told u i only need $.:P
davepoobond: are you a girl
Sandychris: Yeah why
davepoobond: what is your cup size
Sandychris: what?
davepoobond: how big are your breasts
Sandychris: oh god
Sandychris: why do u know?
Sandychris: big enough
davepoobond: i want to know because i like boobs
Sandychris: ewww
davepoobond: what is so ew about that?
davepoobond: do you not like boobs?
Sandychris: lol
Sandychris: are u married?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: are you?
Sandychris: no
Sandychris: i am younger than u
davepoobond: how old are you?
Sandychris: why dont u get married?
Sandychris: i am younger 10 years old then u.:P
davepoobond: i am trying to find a good woman
Sandychris: Nice
davepoobond: when do you want to get married
Sandychris: maybe 25 or 26.:)
davepoobond: can i ask you a question
Sandychris: sure
davepoobond: do you like butt sex
Sandychris: sure why?
davepoobond: i was just wondering
davepoobond: can i ask you another question
Sandychris: okay
davepoobond: will you marry me
Sandychris: lol
Sandychris: i cant
davepoobond: why not?
davepoobond: you like everything i like
Sandychris: lol
Sandychris: but i am not live in USA
davepoobond: details, my love
Sandychris: i am living in China,lol
davepoobond: that is ok
Sandychris: lol
davepoobond: so, since we are getting married, you will be able to come to usa
Sandychris: lol never
davepoobond: do you like china?
Sandychris: sure
davepoobond: why
Sandychris: do u like USA?
davepoobond: yes
Sandychris: then my answer is same with u
davepoobond: but i am a citizen of the world, i can live anywhere i want to
davepoobond: if you will not come to me, i will go to you
Sandychris: lol
Sandychris: are u a rich person?
davepoobond: yes, i have gold in many countries
Sandychris: lol
davepoobond: how long is your tongue?
Sandychris: lol
davepoobond: hello?
Sandychris: hello
davepoobond: what kind of activities do you like to do in your free time
Sandychris: nothing
davepoobond: do you know nancy?
davepoobond: i havent heard from her for a long time
Sandychris: who is Nancy?
davepoobond: she works in china doing the same thing you do
Sandychris: i dont know here
davepoobond: she got married
Sandychris: her
Sandychris: Yeah
davepoobond: and then another person, named danny said she was dead
Sandychris: lol
Sandychris: which site does she from?
Sandychris: do u know ?
Sandychris: u can contact with her by livechat on her site
davepoobond: i think from susanexpress
Sandychris: lol
Sandychris: did u buy gold or mount before?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: we were friends
Sandychris: i am not working for susanexpress.:P
davepoobond: i was so happy to hear she was getting married
Sandychris: lol nice
davepoobond: and then a week later someone said she was dead
Sandychris: lol so weird
davepoobond: i think it was because she was dealing drugs
Sandychris: ahh?
davepoobond: opium
Sandychris: horrible
davepoobond: but she was so nice. she had to sit on a box and type on her computer
Sandychris: why sit on a box?
davepoobond: they did not allow them to have chairs
Sandychris: lol horrilbe
Sandychris: i cant believe
Sandychris: chinese boss is good and cent do like this
davepoobond: what is your favorite movie
Sandychris: why should i tell u?
Sandychris: Forest Gump
Sandychris: do u know?
davepoobond: yes, i know that movie
davepoobond: it is a good movie
davepoobond: what is your favorite part
Sandychris: do u love it ?
davepoobond: yes
Sandychris: every is good
davepoobond: why do you like it
Sandychris: not sure
Fortunes Cookies …in Bed! List
Everyone knows that Fortune Cookies have some important things to tell us about our future. Most of the time they don’t make much sense as a “future prediction.” But that is true until you add the suffix of “…in bed!” That favorable fortune you just cracked out of your sugary cookie from your favorite Chinese food establishment just got sexy!
So, here’s a list of Fortune Cookie messages — you can add “…in bed” to the end of them and they will become super sexualized and funny!
If you have more fortunes, feel free to leave a comment and I will add it to the list.
—
The world will soon be ready to receive your talents …in bed!
Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough …in bed!
The person closest to you is more important than you realize …in bed!
You’ll get more secure and confident in your relationships with co-workers …in bed!
We do three kinds of jobs, cheap, quick, and good …in bed!
An enjoyable vacation awaits you …in bed!
The current year will bring you much happiness …in bed!
Don’t look back, always look ahead …in bed!
Happy events will take place shortly in your home …in bed!
An important discussion will take place today …in bed!
Nothing can keep you from reaching your goals …in bed!
You have a charming way with words. Write a letter this week …in bed!
Try something new today …in bed!
Watch for a stranger near you to soon become a friend …in bed!
When in doubt, let your instincts guide you …in bed!
Now is the time for peace in your life. Go along with other’s ideas …in bed!
You will soon be changing your present line of work …in bed!
You are the center of every group’s attention …in bed!
You may lose the small ones but win the big ones …in bed!
People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner …in bed!
Express your talents in art and music …in bed!
You will do well to expand your horizons …in bed!
You could prosper in the field of medicine …in bed!
The sky’s the limit this month …in bed!
The strengths in your character will bring you serenity …in bed!
You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands on …in bed!
Your investment of time in work or school next week is important …in bed!
Your next business venture will be very profitable …in bed!
You will be involved in many humanitarian projects …in bed!
If you look in the right places, you can find good offerings …in bed!
Find release from your cares, have a good time …in bed!
You will soon be crossing the great waters …in bed!
Turn your thoughts within — find yourself …in bed!
A thrilling time is in your immediate future …in bed!
Someone from your past will happily re-enter your life soon …in bed!
Soon, you will receive pleasant news …in bed!
You will find your horizons suddenly broadened …in bed!
A pleasant surprise is in store for you soon …in bed!
You are attracted to things with an exotic flavor …in bed!
Many pleasurable and memorable adventures are in store for you …in bed!
Next week, green is a lucky color for you …in bed!
Tomorrow your friend or partner will tell you some exciting news …in bed!
On Friday your creative side will shine forth with exceptional ideas …in bed!
A thrilling time is in your future …in bed!
Next summer, you will dance to a different beat …in bed!
Nothing can keep you from reaching your goals. Do it! …in bed!
Don’t underestimate yourself. Your social skills are needed by others at this time …in bed!
The near future holds a gift of contentment …in bed!
Your present plans will be successful …in bed!
An admirer is too shy to greet you …in bed!
Don’t worry about the stock market. Invest in family …in bed!
You will receive some prestigious prize or award within the month …in bed!
Your talents will prove to be especially useful this week …in bed!
There are big changes ahead for you …in bed!
You are imaginative in using your skills. Apply this next week …in bed!
Someone is interested in you. Keep your eyes open …in bed!
An unexpected windfall will soon be yours …in bed!
You will receive an unexpected gift from an acquaintance …in bed!
You will be successful through innovation and determination …in bed!
Listen these next few days to your friends to get answers you seek …in bed!
A simple kindness today will bring you great reward …in bed!
Someone is speaking well of you at this very moment! …in bed!
You are bright and witty …in bed!
You have an accurate and professional mind …in bed!
Executive ability is prominent in your makeup …in bed!
Your talents will capture you the highest status and prestige …in bed!
The star of happiness is shining on you …in bed!
Forge ahead with your new ideas …in bed!
Now is a lucky time for you — take a chance …in bed!
You will soon bring joy to someone new in your life …in bed!
Your persistence will pay off …in bed!
Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time! …in bed!
The wise thing to do is to prepare for the unexpected …in bed!
You will win favors when you expand your social circle …in bed!
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems …in bed!
You have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself …in bed!
Someone in your life needs a letter from you …in bed!
This week, you have a good head in matters of money …in bed!
Now is the time to call loved ones at a distance. Share your news …in bed!
You will have many friends when you need them …in bed!
You will find your solution where you least expect it …in bed!
You will soon receive an usual [sic] gift of food for your health …in bed!
A small act of charity will go a long way …in bed!
Now is a good time to call a loved one at a distance from you …in bed!
An unexpected visitor will bring you good blessings …in bed!
You will be coming into a fortune …in bed!
Now is the time to set your sights high and go for it …in bed!
You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily …in bed!
Any doubts you may have will disappear early this month …in bed!
A new relationship is about to blossom. You will be blessed …in bed!
Someone is speaking well of you at this very moment …in bed!
You will soon be reunited with an old friend …in bed!
When one door closes, another one will open …in bed!
Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time …in bed!
You will win success in whatever you attempt …in bed!
You will enjoy doing something different this coming weekend …in bed!
Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you …in bed!
This year your highest priority will be your family …in bed!
Your warmth radiates on those around you …in bed!
You will soon be the center of attention. Enjoy the spotlight …in bed!
Use your abilities at this time to stay focused on your goal. You will succeed …in bed!
Three times a week, treat yourself to dessert …in bed!
You deserve to have a good time after a hard day’s work …in bed!
Your hard work is about to pay off! Congratulations! …in bed!
You will soon witness a miracle …in bed!
Wise man is slow in choosing friends, slower in changing …in bed!
A movie would be a great way to relax this weekend …in bed!
You will always have good luck in your personal affairs …in bed!
Now is a good time to explore …in bed!
Avenues of good fortune are ahead for you …in bed!
It’s time to write a letter or email to one who is distant …in bed!
You will accomplish great things in your free time this week …in bed!
Prosperity is in the cards for you this year …in bed!
Your musical talents will soon be showcased …in bed!
Flowers would brighten the day of your close friend …in bed!
Your present plans are going to succeed if you stick to them …in bed!
The culture and customs of China attract you …in bed!
Keep up the good work. You will be rewarded …in bed!
It’s a good time for you to travel. Take a vacation …in bed!
You Will soon get something special because of your charm …in bed!
You will surround yourself with warmth and riches …in bed!
There Once Was a Man From China
There once was a man from china
who wasnt a brilliant climber
he fell from a rock
damaged his cock
and now he has a vagina
Joke #21185
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It’s either my mum or my dad… or maybe my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I’m pretty sure it’s Colin.
Joke #21169
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
– Two Italian men and one Italian woman
– Two French men and one French woman
– Two German men and one German woman
– Two Greek men and one Greek woman
– Two English men and one English woman
– Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
– Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
– Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
– Two Irish men and one Irish woman
– Two American men and one American woman
–
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a “ménage à trois.”
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they’re satisfied because the English aren’t having any fun.
The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut the fuck up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn’t they bring a goddamn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this godforsaken deserted island in the middle of friggin’ nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping…
“Immigration Interview” Breakdown
I kid you not, this is the exact text from which I found on a poster board at my high school. The spelling and grammar errors are exactly as they appeared on this poster board. I found this around 2004, and wrote up my part of the article when posting.
–
“An interview with Helen
Made by her son Michael
Q: What was your impression of America before today?
A: peaceful life and today my view of America is I hope there are no more wars”
I don’t even know where to begin. How is it a view of America to “hope there are no more wars”? You make it sound like America has always been in a war. I guess we’ve been in one for 10 years, and since this was answered around 2004, guess you’re very not impressed by America anymore or something.
“Q: Why did you leave Burma so suddenly?
A: a riot broke out in the city I was living in from a group from Chinese government”
One riot and that makes you get on a boat and go 5000 miles across an ocean? I’m sure there’s something more, I don’t know, MEANINGFUL to pick from a list of reasons for leaving Burma.
“Q: if you went back in time and if did not have to any place you went what would it be?
A: China”
You’re not even from fucking-China. You’re from fucking Burma! Also, what the fuck kinda question is that to ask? Who the fuck cares if she can go back in time to an indistinct era to just “go somewhere.” What the fuck is she gonna do by going back in time?
“Q: Why did you immigrate to Canada instead straight to America
A: the weather was good and there are many more job opportunity”
So, when you got on the boat to go to Canada, they handed you a brochure which outlined “the weather is good” and “there are many more job opportunity?” How the fuck do you know that if you’re getting on a boat in Burma?
“Q: what the reason that most of your family members stayed in Canada instead of coming down?
A: the health care union was very good”
And I guess you didn’t care enough about health care which prompted your movement to the United States? I don’t get it. If you were so inclined to move, then why not the rest of your family? This is about as ridiculous as the reason you chose to leave Burma. This woman sounds very finicky.
“Q: in your opinion how is life in the United States differ from life in Canada?
A: there is more stress in America while in Canada it is more of a relaxing life”
Not only does she leave Canada for nondescript reasons, she says Canada is BETTER than the United States. Why the fuck didn’t she just go back to Canada if it was too stressful for her?
“Q: if there were no riots in Burma would you have still made the immigration to America?
A: most likely because I wanted a better life”
Yeah, right! You just said the only reason you left Burma was because of the riots. I don’t think you actually know what you would have even done. How would you know if the weather was good or not if it wasn’t for that handy brochure they passed out on the Passage to America boating line?
“Q: what is one thing that is important to you in America?
A: My job”
So, let me get this straight. Your son, interviewing you for his class, asks you what is important to you in America. And you say your job. You don’t say your son, who is standing right there asking you this question, hoping to hear something that would make him learn how to write English better, but no. You throw it back into his face and tell him that your stinking 9-5 that you somehow convinced someone to let you have is more meaningful to you than your son or your family in America.
“Q: what is the most charitable thing you have coming to America?
A: security, financial stability, and many others”
This question doesn’t make any sense. On top of that, the answer makes even less sense. How the fuck is security and financial stability even considered charitable? What the hell does it even mean to have something charitable by coming to America? English is hard.
–
In closing, this lady is fucking stupid. Just looking at her responses makes you wonder what the hell she was smoking.
No wonder American values are going down the drain, stupid foreigners are teaching their children that the most important thing in life is your job, and not your family or something like that that is more important. Even non-foreigners are teaching their children this. I blame everyone.
I hate older generations.
Rejected International Sports Team Names
– Brussels Sprouts
– Cannes Openers
– Amsterdam Yankees
– Vienna Sausages
– Belgium Waffles
– Manila Folders
– Czech Bouncers
– New Dehli Catessans
– Buenos Airheads
– Guadalajara Krishnas
– Iraqi Raccoons
– Bolivia DeHavillands
– Seoul Brothers
– Taipei Personalities
– Syria Killers
– Hungary Jacks
– Dublin Mint Twins
– Prague Tologists
– Peking Toms
Joke #18531
Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal.
Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you’d expect from a Jedi Master.
Poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself.
Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says, “Use the FORKS, Luke.”
Joke #18504
Q: Why can’t you play hide-and-seek with poultry in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Because of the Peking Duck.
Joke #18165
Q: What do you call assignments from a Chinese cooking class?
A: Home-wok.