“Laura shit the right day, but she fucked at the wrong time”
– davepoobond
Category Archives: Quotes
Quotes, re-enactments, “real-life” chat logs.
Quote #22232
“Frankie has already fucked the car.”
– davepoobond
Quote #22230
“Naomi fucked the boxes in the storage room and fucked the door.”
– davepoobond
Quote #22191
::davepoobond is sitting at a desk at work, using the computer::
::Armando picks up the phone::
Armando: Dave, Megutron wants to talk to you.
davepoobond: To me? About what?
Armando: I’ll transfer her to that phone.
::davepoobond picks up the phone::
::Megutron explains that the camera she is using is not recording audio. davepoobond tells her he doesn’t know what it could be, since he never used the school’s cameras, and suggests it could be the heads not recording sound::
::Later… about 1.5 hours later::
::davepoobond goes out to where Megutron is filing and tells her to go to the menu settings and eventually he fixes the audio problem in like 2 minutes. It wasn’t set to Audio In::
Megutron: Agggh! Fuck! Oh my God!
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07
Quote #22190
Armando: Both of you are crazy.
Megutron: You know, if the majority is abnormal, they become the normal ones, and you’re just the abnormal one after all.
Armando: Oh, really? Hahaha…
davepoobond (singing): ‘Cause 2 out of THREEEEEE….. Ain’t baddddd!
::Armando and Megutron don’t say anything::
Armando: You just contradicted yourself there, y’know.
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07
Quote #22189
davepoobond: Yes! Only 10 more days left for summer school!
Brian: Yeah! Finally!
davepoobond: Then I could work full time! And give all of my time to this joooobbbbb…. yeahhhhhh!!!!!
Brian: Yeahhh!
::Brian and davepoobond laugh all crazily::
Ely: What the hell? You guys are crazy…
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07
Quote #22188
Blanker: Hey, you’re Receptionist right?
davepoobond: yeah.
Blanker: Do you want to trade? I don’t like being Lead.
davepoobond: Ok, doesn’t matter to me.
Blanker: Ok! Cool. It’s cause I like doing breaks.
::davepoobond gives Blanker the break list and then stands behind the counter, doing nothing::
davepoobond (like a robot): Assuming the Lead position…
::Blanker laughs::
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/21/07
Quote #22187
::Everyone is eating dinner at a restaurant near a window::
::davepoobond’s dad goes outside to smoke a cigarette::
::Everyone keeps talking::
::dadpoobond goes up near the window while he is smoking and shakes his head, nods his head, acting like he can hear and is part of the conversation::
– at a Mexican restaurant, 6/19/07
Quote #22186
::Blare is throwing food in the trash while davepoobond is watching TV::
Blare: Hey. When do you eat?
davepoobond: Huh? “When do I eat?”?
Blare: Yeah. Like, I see you, but I never see you eat.
davepoobond: I dunno.
Blare: Do you?
davepoobond: What? Eat?
Blare: Yeah.
davepoobond: Yeah…
::davepoobond shrugs::
– at davepoobond’s apartment, 6/16/07
Quote #22185
::davepoobond is listening to his iPod particularly loudly at his job::
Customer: Shhhh!
::Customer puts his index finger to his lips::
::davepoobond looks at him weird::
Customer: I can’t hear!
davepoobond (thinking): What are you trying to hear? You’re not listening to anyone or talking to anyone.
::davepoobond just looks at him weird as the customer leaves::
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/15/07
Quote #22184
::davepoobond is filling up balloons::
::Vance is doing nothing, just walking around bitching about stuff but not actually helping with anything::
davepoobond: Vance, could you help me out and just hold this balloon You don’t have to tie it or anything.
Vance: Nope! Nope! I don’t hold balloons! I just do computer stuff.
davepoobond (thinking to himself): Lazy bastard.
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/13/07
Quote #22183
::Test day for Comm 233. During the test, the moderately attractive girl smacks her gum in the quiet room fairly loudly. During which, she also writes very hard on the paper and you can hear every single stroke of the pencil and pen she used. Afterwards, at work… ::
davepoobond: Geez, I did kinda bad on the test. I didn’t even know we had a test until I turned and asked the guy sitting next to me.
Ely Munaz: hahaha!
davepoobond: And this girl next to me was chewing her gum really loudly the whole time. As much as I liked hearing the noises coming from her mouth for about 10 seconds, it got annoying real fast.
::Ely Munaz laughs again::
davepoobond: And she wrote really hard on the paper, too. It was like a flamethrower under her pencil. FWOOOOSH FWOOOOSH FWWOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!
– at davepobond’s job, 6/10/07
Quote #22182
::Maria Sweden, davepoobond, and David Arr are working together at Customer Service::
Maria Sweden: There was a girl that was totally macking on davepoobond at the Brief.
davepoobond: Yuck! She wasn’t a girl at all. She was a beast! She was fatter than me!
Maria Sweden: You’re not exactly skinny yourself, davepoobond.
davepoobond: Exactly! Plus, she looked like David Arr!
::davepoobond points to David Arr::
David Arr: Whaaaat?
::David Arr laughs embarrassingly and really loudly::
David Arr: I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or insult!
::davepoobond laughs at David Arr’s response::
– at davepoobond’ job, 6/7/07
Quote #22181
“You’re gonna rip my books and then I’m gonna rip your ass!”
– a customer at davepoobond’s job.
Quote #22177: Not an Equal Opportunity Dater
** DO NOT EMAIL ME ..IM NOT INTO SPANISH , MEXICAN , OR BLACK GUYS!!! IM ONLY INTO WHITE GUYS!! YOU HEAR? SO SICK OF YOU GUYS EMAILING ME ASKING ME WHAT MY PROBLEM IS WITH NOT LIKING ANY OTHER TYPE OF GUYS THEN WHITE GUYS!! I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO U . DO NOT EMAIL ME!!! Thanks***
– from a girl’s dating profile