Fuk yo bitch Ass mom

Written for the movie Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets.

1st off fuk ur bitch n yo fat ass mom

i fn’ed fuken her but caz of her lose pussy i couldn’t cum

yea i no dats wrong

but tryin to battle against me

you won’t last long

like the weed in ma glass bong

they call me long shlong

 

The tea is too cold…

I found this at school.

The tea is too cold

The tea is too hot.  I can’t drink it.

I can’t put my dictionary in my pocket.  My dictionary is too big.

An elephant is too big.  A mouse is too small.

I can’t buy a boat because it’s too expensive, but Anita can buy one if she wants to.

We went to the Rocky Mountains for our vacation.  The mountains are too beautiful.

I can’t eat this food because it’s too salty.

Amanda doesn’t like her room in the dorm.  She thinks it’s too small.

I lost your dictionary.  I’m too sorry.  I’ll buy you a new one.

A: Do you like your math course?

B: Yes.  It’s too difficult, but I enjoy it.

 

Extended “Birthday Song” Lyrics

Everyone knows the birthday song, and quite frankly it sucks.  The only reason you want to sing it is to get to the fun part at the end where you just go on forever making up stupid shit.

I don’t know why you start singing about what’s on television, though.

And many more, on Channel 4

And Scooby Doo, on Channel 2

And Frankenstein, on Channel 9

And a naked lady, on Channel 80

And you will be, on Channel 3

 

First the Worst

This is the version of the playground rhyme that I remember from my elementary school.  There are obviously a lot of variations.

First the worst

Second the best

Third the nerd

Fourth the one with the hairy chest

Fifth the bitch

Sixth the snitch

Seventh goes to heaven

Eighth goes naked