3. Look near the top for a section called [Windows]. In that section, look for the load= and run= lines. If those lines are empty, just close the System Configuration window. If there is anything in those lines, put a semi-colon in front of the line, so it would look like this:

;run=c:\etc

;load=c:\etc

This will prevent the programs reference here from loading at startup; if you remove the semi-colon, the programs will again load at startup.

In the Windows Registry:

1. Click Start button, click Run, type RegEdit, click OK, to open the Registry Editor.

2. Click HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE, then SOFTWARE, then Microsoft, then Windows\CurrentVersion, then RUN.

3. In the right window pane, you will find programs that load when Win 95 starts. Right click your mouse on the one you wish to turn off at startup, click Delete.

4. Close the Registry Editor.

Disabling StartUp programs in Win 95

To see what programs you have running, press CTRL + ALT + DEL one time. This shows you a Close Program list. You want the Systray available, but most of these programs can be disabled so they do not load when you start your computer.

In the Startup Folder:

1. Right click your Start button, click Open.

2. Double click the Programs folder; double click the StartUp folder.

3. Highlight each item in the folder and press the Delete key on your keyboard. Do this for all items. Or, you can simply move the items to some other temporary folder using Win95’s cut and paste. This does not remove the programs from your computer; it just removes the shortcuts for those programs from the StartUp Folder. These shortcuts can always be recreated and moved back into the StartUp folder if you want.

4. Reboot your computer.

Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to check for any programs that are left. If you still have programs listed, do the following:

In Win.Ini File:

1. Click Start button, click Run, type SYSEDIT, click OK.

2. Click the C:\WINDOWS\WIN.INI tab.

;run=c:\etc

;load=c:\etc

This will prevent the programs reference here from loading at startup; if you remove the semi-colon, the programs will again load at startup.

In the Windows Registry:

1. Click Start button, click Run, type RegEdit, click OK, to open the Registry Editor.

2. Click HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE, then SOFTWARE, then Microsoft, then Windows\CurrentVersion, then RUN.

3. In the right window pane, you will find programs that load when Win 95 starts. Right click your mouse on the one you wish to turn off at startup, click Delete.

4. Close the Registry Editor.

Guides

How To Make a Squackle Gang

September 2, 2007 davepoobond (DPB) Leave a comment

Note: Don’t actually do this, please.

1. Get a bunch of your friends and people that would like to join your gang that you don’t hate, and drop out of school. Or go to school and make your school your gang’s territory.

2. Name your gang from this list, and choose a theme:
Name:

The Cazzys
Foo Foo Tinas
The Tutu Posse
Mean Clowns that Bark
The Crazy Kitties
The Counts of Monte Cristo
The Vampire Squad
The CraZys (notice the misspelling)
The Miss Pellers
The Hotties
The Coldies
The Assrammers
The Spider
Las Silla Locas (The Crazy Chairs)
The Guys that Follow You Home
The Second of Man
Summer Time
Waugh
The Super Marios
The Crown Jewels
The Homeless
We Breathe
Tarzan RULES
Metallicats
The Swat Katz
Allison Chains
The Bud Light Buddies
The Treks
The Reservation (only allowed to be a Native American-themed gang)

Theme:

Gay – everyone has man sex, no women allowed
Lesbian – everyone has hot steamy woman sex, no men allowed
Arrogant – everyone thinks they’re better than everyone else. If you get 2 of them in the same neighborhood, watch out!
Latino – everyone talks with a latino accent, and they listen to music made by WCW wrestlers who can’t get a job at the WWF/WWE.
Black – everyone talks in Ebonics, listens to rap, watches BET only (with the occasional dash of CNN, just to see what the white man is saying about the black man), and never visits Squackle
White – everyone is white, and sometimes includes albinos. Squackle is a recently visited web site, mostly among the Western Europeans. Usually does not include Eastern Europeans, unless they’re Americanized. Can be broken down into NRA (mostly Americans), Mafia (mostly Italians), and others.
Soviet – everyone is mainly Eastern European, Russian, or just can’t be considered black or purely white.
Arab – everyone listens to Arab music, and they usually kill everyone that doesn’t have heritage from a country that doesn’t have endless deserts, huge oil deposits, and blistering heat. (which is pretty much everywhere except Southern California)
Albino Black Guy – everyone is an albino or an albino black guy. You won’t see them out during the day.
Cheerleader – everyone is a hot cheerleader. Watch out for their sexy ass shakes and pom poms. They’ll fuck you then stab you in the back. Either way they fuck you, I guess. They usually only listen to the popular music at the time, and hate anything older than a month, including music they used to like.
Ugly Cheerleader – usually known as the Color Guard, these girls couldn’t get into the Cheerleading squad, so they had to go to the second level — Color Guard. Everyone is either ugly or moderately good looking. They listen to the popular music at the time, and usually don’t hate music they used to like. They say everything else just “isn’t their flavor.”
Suicidal Teenager – everyone is a suicidal teenager. Watch out for these suckers, cause when they snap…they kill themselves. They usually listen to intelligent music like Mozart, Beethoven, or Slayer
Agent Smith – everyone is Agent Smith. Wouldn’t actually be a reality, unless this were actually the Matrix and Agent Smith took over lots of people’s bodies and made his own gang for fun. Everyone would have the same hair cut and the same suit. They would all talk in unison or an echo-like type of speech, so it would be in a wave that you hear anything. Kind of weird. They’re a hive mind or whatever so they can do that kind of weird shit. If you don’t know who Agent Smith is, watch a Matrix movie.
The Military – a government regulated gang, where they’re gonna make you think Hell is an amusement park with the training they give you. The Military can do whatever they damn well please, because in a sense, they rule the country.
The Militia – a group of commonfolk from a certain town that get together on the weekends and shoot at trees and deer. They don’t really do anything that helpful, except waste trees and buy bullets from K-Mart.
Heavy Metal – this gang doesn’t do anything but sit on mattresses in a basement, listening to heavy metal from the 80s and 90s (possibly some from later years), and beat the shit out of anyone who thinks their music sucks. They usually have long hair or really short hair. Usually have tattoos, and most of them play an instrument like a guitar, bass, drums or an accordian. Some even play a triangle (those guys are bad mother fuckers)
Soccer Mom – these bitches never shut the fuck up. When they invade other territories, they bring their endless lines of minivans with soccer team after soccer team in each minivan. These soccer teams will beat the shit out of you if they believe they can get a Capri-Sun after doing so. Stupid manipulative soccer mom bitches.
Internet Geeks – these people never leave their chairs, and its amazing how most of them aren’t fat. Rather than being an “IRL” (also known as “In Real Life”) Gang, they are moreover an online-sort of gang, and hack into other people’s computers either for pleasure or to find porn because their parents put a Cyber Cop program on their computer so they can’t go to any porn sites, so they have to get it by hacking other people’s computers.
Demon – spawns of Hell or humans possessed by the Devil. These guys usually listen to Anti-Christ music and promote abortion, just so they can piss off the Anti-Abortionist Radical Christian Fucks.
Anti-Abortionist Radical Christian Fucks – these stupid fuckers bomb abortion clinics and would wish for nothing but having every teenager’s penis cut off, as well as everyone who has one that has sex more than 1 time and is unsuccessful at impregnation.
Trekkies – everyone is a Star Trek fan. These idiots can’t face reality, so they usually fight their gang fights with their photon laser weapons that haven’t been invented yet, so they have to make their own sound effects
Native American – a Native American gang whose motto is “we’re still here.” They harp on about the “Native Era” when the Native Americans ruled all of America before the white man came and had sex with their antelopes.

3. Now that you have your gang name, you have to name you and your friends. Pick names from this list:

Foyf – short for Fart On Your Face
Spoyc – short for Spit Poop On Your Chair
Dip – short for Dingo In Propulsion
Dop – short for Donkeys on Parade
Boink – short for Big Orange Industrial Noogie Kaka
Fnb – short for Freaky Nugget Boy
Brig – short for Bunny Rump In Ginger
Gog – short for Goofy On Goo
Li,ne (pronounced Line) – short for Lick Iguanas, Naughty Elf
Cwafa – short for Crab With a French Accent
Yagoga – short for Yellow Antelopes Go Over Green Apples
Smit – short for Smelly Monkeys in Tents

4. Get some guns, bazookas, knives and boxes full of beanie babies, and gloves. You have to wear the gloves at all times, it covers your fingerprints. Recruit all the guys you can, to make your gang big, and a problem.

5. Now, go to any street not named Percy or Pansy. Hold that street like it was your home, because now it is!

6. For practice, stab the beanie babies you got in the boxes with your knives, shoot them with your guns, and beat them down with large, painful looking sticks.

7. Just in case cops come, take out the magazine of real bullets in your gun and put in a magazine of blanks and say, “You were only practicing your aim with blank bullets.” If the cop doesn’t believe you, start whacking the guy with those sticks that you got and use your fancy knifing work. Take his body out into an alley and dump him in a trash can. No one will find him until next trash day, and by then all the evidence will be shat on by cats (if you were stupid enough to leave any), so it won’t matter.

8. If any other gang tries to invade your territory, do what comes to mind…KILL’EM! And then after you kill them all, take over their territory, and then adopt all the dead gang member’s moms and dads, so they can give you pasta every Sunday.

9. Once a territory that you hold has been in your gang’s possession for a long time, make it a state. It is reccomended that you register this new mini-state with the U.S. Government, so that you’ll have exclusive rights over the acquired state, but they’ll probably just send the Army after you, then you’ll really be fucked. So, you probably shouldn’t do that.

10. Live, and make sure your fellow gang members do too.

Guides

How to Make a DVD

September 2, 2007 davepoobond (DPB) Leave a comment

davepoobond: I’ve been through a lot of shit, trying to figure out what I am supposed to do to make a DVD and how I can make a DVD full of movies that me and my friends have made. This is what I have to tell you through my experience

1. To have interactive menus, you should have a DVD authoring program, such as Sonic MyDVD, or Ulead MovieFactory. They convert your files into MPEG 2 for you, which is the format you must convert your movie files into, so you can burn it onto DVDs, so they play in most DVD players. Anyway, don’t encode your movies into mpeg 2 using those programs, because you’ll only be able to fit maybe 2 hours or less of footage on there (you won’t be able to change the quality of the video either). If you want 3 or more, then you should get a separate program that converts avi files to MPEG 2. I suggest that you get TMPGEnc Plus (for the encoding), which is a great program. I’ve
downloaded several others, and this is the only one that is free (for 30 days at least), works fast, and best of all has no watermark. You can get it at

www.tmpgenc.com

2. Once you get all your files into avi format, put them through TMPGenc, as according to this guide on www.dvdrhelp.com (which is an absolutely faaaaabulous website for anything DVD, VCD, or SVCD related. Its got an enormous amount of information for this kind of stuff)

http://www.dvdrhelp.com/tmpgencdvd.htm

but instead of having 1:1 VGA, I put 4:3 display. I don’t know if it makes a difference on the TV, but the 4:3 display makes the black bars smaller (as opposed to the 1:1 VGA). The only thing that it affects is when you view the mpeg 2 files themselves (not from the DVD), on the computer. If you’re
going to want to see your movies on your computer at all, you should make it 1:1 VGA then.

3. Once you get it all into MPEG 2, put it into your DVD authoring program, you’ll be able to pack a lot more movie time into it, as opposed to if you did it with just the DVD authoring program. I used the TMPGEnc DVD Author program (at the same link above). Also, all this information took me 2 months
to gather, because its hell trying to find a free AVI to MPG2 program without a watermark that you can use for an unlimited amount of video time. Most have a watermark or have it only for 1 minute or 5 minutes or something for maximum conversion time. It’s the goy.

Guides

Guide to Scandisk & Defrag for Windows 9x

September 2, 2007 davepoobond Leave a comment

If your system is running slower than usual you might need to run these built-in Windows utilities: ScanDisk and Disk Defragmenter. ScanDisk checks your hard drive for errors and fixes them if it finds any, and Disk Defragmenter arranges file data so that it can be efficiently accessed when you need it.

Before you run these utilities, do the following:

1. Close AOL, PowerTools, and any other open applications.

2. During defragmentation, disk Defragmenter must restart each time other programs write to the disk. Therefore, be sure that no programs are running. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL one time to bring up the Close Programs list. Highlight each program listed there, except for Explorer and Systray, and click End Task. (These programs will automatically be reloaded when you reboot your computer.)

3. Empty your Recycle Bin.

4. While these utilities are running, don’t try to do any other computing functions; this may interfere with the process.

ScanDisk

Run ScanDisk anytime your computer goes down improperly (like a power outage), when you are thrown offline, when you get GPF or IPG error messages, and when you accidentally shut down your computer without closing programs. Running ScanDisk immediately after such problems can locate and repair problems and may prevent severe damage to good programs and data later. Because errors like crosslinked files can grow in magnitude, early corrective action is best. Always run ScanDisk before you run the Disk Defragmenter.

1. On your Windows95/98 Taskbar, click the START button, then highlight Programs > Accessories > System Tools > ScanDisk icon.

2. Select the drive you want to scan, usually C: If you are running programs on other drives, you may need to scan more than one drive. For Type of Test, select Standard, and put a check in the Automatically Fix Errors box.

3. Click Start and wait for the process to end. You should run a ScanDisk every time you get error messages that force you to close AOL and PowerTools.

Defragmenter

Defragmenter will put files and folders back into continuous units. This will improve hard disk performance, and increase the available free space (so you can save more data). Even if your system does an automatic defrag using the Scheduler, we recommend a manual defragmentation at least once or twice a week. When Disk Defragmenter is run on the Scheduler, Windows samples the drive first, and ONLY runs if fragmentation is high on that sample (which may not accurately reflect how fragmented the rest of the drive is). Running Defrag manually will remove all fragmentation without relying on a sample, thus ensuring a proper defrag.

1. On your Windows95 Taskbar, click on the Windows START button, then highlight Programs > Accessories > System Tools > Disk Defragmenter icon.

2. You will then be asked to select a drive, select your C: drive, then click OK. You may get a message saying you do not need to defrag your hard disk at this time. If the disk is more than 1% fragmented, run Defragmenter anyway. NOTE: If your hard drive is partitioned into more than one drive, you should do this process for all drives.

3. Win 98: Click the Settings button, then make sure Check the drive for errors is selected. If you choose “Rearrange program files so my programs start faster,” defrag will take much longer to complete. That option isn’t necessary each time you Defrag.

Win95: Click the Advanced button, then select Full Defragmentation. Be sure that Check drive for errors is selected. Also select Save these options and use them every time. Then click OK. [This is the optimal defrag setting for Win95, and we recommend using this each time you defrag the hard drive. Once you have these options selected, you will not need to click the Advanced button each time you defrag.] 4. Click OK, then OK (Win98) or START (Win95) When Defragmenter is complete, reboot your computer. When you are online a lot, you should run the Disk Defragmenter every 2-3 days. This will not harm your computer in any way.

USING SCANDISK & DEFRAG IN WINDOWS 3.1 Note:

Scandisk and Defrag are available only in DOS ver. 6.0 +. To check your DOS version, go to your C:\ prompt in DOS, type ver, then press ENTER. If your system is running slower than usual you might need to Scandisk and Defrag your hard drive(s). Scandisk checks your hard drive for errors and fixes them if it finds any, and the Defrag program organizes your hard drive so it will operate faster. This is called “defragmenting.” Please follow ALL the directions carefully:

DELETING TEMPORARY FILES

1. Close AOL and PowerTools.

2. Press CTRL + ESC keys to bring up the Task List. Highlight each listing except for Program Manager and click End Task. Repeat until only Program Manager is showing on the Task List.

3. Open File Manager in the Main Group in your Program Manager.

4. Highlight the C:\ at the top in the left window and click on File menu, then Search. At the search window type in: ~*.tmp and click OK. This will search out the temporary files which you can delete by highlighting each and clicking on File menu, the Delete. At the Delete window, say Yes.

5. After you finish removing ~tmp files, Exit File Manager to return back to Program Manager.

6. Close Program Manager: Click File menu, Exit. This will close Windows and put you in the DOS mode at the C:\ prompt.

7. To be absolutely certain that Windows is NOT running, type exit, and press the ENTER key. You should see C:\ once again. If not, you should not use Scandisk/Defrag.

SCANDISK

1. To run Scandisk from DOS at the C:\ prompt, type scandisk and press Enter. Scandisk begins to examine your disk. During this process, scandisk may find files that need to be corrected or are being misreported. If this occurs choose “Fix It” and at the next prompt choose “Skip undo.” If there are more than one file to be fixed, this process will repeat. When complete, choose Exit.

2. When Scandisk finishes, it will ask if you wish to do a surface Scan for bad segments. It is recommended to preform this operation at least twice a month.

DEFRAG

1. Once you return to the C:\ prompt, type defrag c: /f as it appears here. Include the spaces. This will begin the process of defragmentation. CAUTION! This process may take from several minutes to an hour or more, depending on how fragmented your hard drive is and on the speed of your processor. Do NOT turn off the computer during this time. When the process has finished, restart your computer. If you have more than one hard drive, you should perform Scandisk and Defrag on those drives as well. To switch drives: At the C:\ prompt, type the letter of the other drive with a colon and a backslash; for example, D:\, then press ENTER. That will change the drive, and you can repeat the Scandisk and Defrag processes above.