YouDontMakeFriendsWithSalad: will you go out with me
Ella2002: no
YouDontMakeFriendsWithSalad: why not
Ella2002: cos ur fuckin ugly
YouDontMakeFriendsWithSalad: ouch
Category Archives: Stupid IMs
These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.
#5960: ShockTheMonkey -> IgetBORED
ShockTheMonkey: hey man my ass hurts from today
ShockTheMonkey: ;o)
IgetBORED: yeh me too, i hurt my knee on that damn rope rock thing
ShockTheMonkey: swingin across a river with deftones playing on ur stereo, whilst shitting our pants with laughter at eachothers attempts to make us fall
ShockTheMonkey: what a day
IgetBORED: not giving a shit kicks ass
ShockTheMonkey: best thing is
ShockTheMonkey: we both have beautiful girlfriends, and were both jackasses
IgetBORED: it rules to be a jackass
ShockTheMonkey: amen to that
ShockTheMonkey: i’d lift my glass, but its heavy and im lazy
IgetBORED: amen to laziness.
#5959: ShockTheMonkey -> IgetBORED
ShockTheMonkey: ooooooooooooooodles
IgetBORED: stupid poodle
ShockTheMonkey: man IMs suck so bad
IgetBORED: yup. watcha do today
ShockTheMonkey: me and matt licked a raw sheeps heart in science class, everyone went nuts
IgetBORED: cool, why they go nuts
ShockTheMonkey: townies. they dont understand
IgetBORED: they should open up a little
IgetBORED: lick some raw livestock organs
ShockTheMonkey: it was a dare
ShockTheMonkey: a two way dare, we both did it
IgetBORED: no big deal, i’d do it
ShockTheMonkey: it was juicy and nasty looking
IgetBORED: so
IgetBORED: licking puss is worse
IgetBORED: they take leaks outta that hole
ShockTheMonkey: good point
IgetBORED: eating shit, now thats fucked up
ShockTheMonkey: german shizer movies
ShockTheMonkey: Eissen Mine Shizer
IgetBORED: that reminds me
IgetBORED: i need to take a shit
IgetBORED: cya
#5958: Senior Dingdong -> ShockTheMonkey
Senior Dingdong: egg nogg all round folks
ShockTheMonkey: hey dude
Senior Dingdong: i smell burning
ShockTheMonkey: someones baking brownies
Senior Dingdong: im listening to that nirvana tape of urs
ShockTheMonkey: im listening to pantera doing a sabbath song
Senior Dingdong: go back to scotland, scot
ShockTheMonkey: im not scottish, and thats my line you turdslinger
Senior Dingdong: and whatcha gonna do bout it, i used it, its now mine
ShockTheMonkey: *scratches head* err
ShockTheMonkey: watoow! *kicks knee*
Senior Dingdong: u got me, bleach is the best
ShockTheMonkey: u god darn right it is, nevermind is also tres good
ShockTheMonkey: incesticide = turd
Senior Dingdong: people = shit, what a load of wooden arm
ShockTheMonkey: poodles = left wing fat cats
Senior Dingdong: i gotta take my sis and her buttugly friend to the movies
ShockTheMonkey: haw haw *points*
Senior Dingdong: good thing its sunny out there, dont wanna catch a warm
ShockTheMonkey: toodles
Senior Dingdong: cya
#5957: ShockTheMonkey -> Charmslider
ShockTheMonkey: hey i know you
ShockTheMonkey: you owe me money
Charmslider: who are u
ShockTheMonkey: your grandpa
Charmslider: ur not my grandpa u dick
ShockTheMonkey: can ur grandfather do this? *balanced jug on head and dances*
Charmslider: i guess not
ShockTheMonkey: precisely
Charmslider: r u fit
ShockTheMonkey: its been a while since i played the ol’ squash, but i jog often
Charmslider: v.funny, are u sexy
ShockTheMonkey: well i was once compared to a frog in a blender
Charmslider: lovely
ShockTheMonkey: but now im totally out of that whole ‘ liquidising amphibians’ phase
Charmslider: ur freak
ShockTheMonkey: and you my dear are a cokatu
#5956: ShockTheMonkey -> SugaGal
ShockTheMonkey: hi
SugaGal: howz u
ShockTheMonkey: im fine
ShockTheMonkey: you damn freakin plumber
SugaGal: wot?
ShockTheMonkey: you heard
SugaGal: well actually i saw, not heard
ShockTheMonkey: can it. you talk too much
SugaGal: woteva
ShockTheMonkey: your not just a plumber
SugaGal: no?
ShockTheMonkey: your a butt ugly plumber
SugaGal: go to hell
ShockTheMonkey: sure
SugaGal: u talk so much shit
ShockTheMonkey: so much what???
SugaGal: SHIT
ShockTheMonkey: thats whats on your hands from cleaning my toilet you monkey
SugaGal: shut up
ShockTheMonkey: sure thing.
#5955: PharelakMark -> Ju§t1n
PharelakMark: wanna tussle
Ju§t1n: tussle?
PharelakMark: fuc wit my boo and we’ll 2 step
Ju§t1n: is that healthy?
PharelakMark: nah its bad 4 ur health….leaver alone cuz i always stash th toaster closely
Ju§t1n: where is the toaster now?
PharelakMark: nex 2 th chrome oven
Ju§t1n: so where were we
PharelakMark: they call me mr please believe it believe it pleasse….i put th pump in ur mouf and help u breathe wit ease
Ju§t1n: how much ease?
PharelakMark: as easy as doin ur momz mannn she b 2loose even 4 me
Ju§t1n: WOW
PharelakMark: truuu tha wow
PharelakMark: but u prally already knew tha shit tho huh
Ju§t1n: maybe…
PharelakMark: u b up2date on ur moms
Ju§t1n: and how many bites does it take to get to the center of a tootsiepop…?
PharelakMark: 46
#5954: twinlover -> Ju§t1n
twinlover: hey a/s/l
Ju§t1n: 16/m/LA
Ju§t1n: u?
twinlover: 18/f/az
Ju§t1n: really?
twinlover: yeah y
Ju§t1n: y? you asked for my asl so i asked for yours
twinlover: am I too old for u or what
Ju§t1n: no your ok
Ju§t1n: your moving to fast
Ju§t1n: are u there?
twinlover: huh what
Ju§t1n: how can you be too old for me?
Ju§t1n: are you blind?
Ju§t1n: can you read this?
Ju§t1n: do i ask too many questions?
Ju§t1n: am i annoying you?
Ju§t1n: can you give me an answer?
Ju§t1n: are you ok?
Ju§t1n: are you there?
Ju§t1n: must i repeat myself?
twinlover: no
twinlover: I am here sorry
Ju§t1n: so what are you doing?
twinlover: talkn to a friend
twinlover: u
Ju§t1n: well more like 3 over here
twinlover: kool
twinlover: got a gf
Ju§t1n: no
Ju§t1n: do you have a gf?
twinlover: not at the moment
Ju§t1n: will you have a girlfriend soon?
twinlover: no but I might have a bf soon maybe
twinlover: u
Ju§t1n: i have no boyfriends but i DO have a groom. Were getting married.
twinlover: what say that again
twinlover: ur how old
Ju§t1n: 29
Ju§t1n: i must have made a typo earlier
twinlover: male or female
Ju§t1n: both
twinlover: u r confusing me
Ju§t1n: am I?
twinlover: yeah
Ju§t1n: are you?
twinlover: both what do u mean
Ju§t1n: shimmy
twinlover: I am a female only
Ju§t1n: well that can be changed
twinlover: what the hell is wrong with u
#5953: Ju§t1n -> sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY / Elite Force -> Singing Carrot
Ju§t1n: It all begins with a simple IM conversation…
————–
Ju§t1n: hi
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: hi
Ju§t1n: a/s/l?
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: 16.f.kali
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: yew
Ju§t1n: are you really?
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: yes
Ju§t1n: ok because there are alot of liars out there
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: okay..
Ju§t1n: are you a liar?
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: nope
Ju§t1n: are you lieing about not lieing?
Ju§t1n: if you dont answer me your a liar
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: im not lieng
Ju§t1n: HOW COULD YOU … YOU LIAR!
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: go away
Ju§t1n: why?
Ju§t1n: are you there?
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: UHG
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: GO AWAY
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: yer ANNOYiNG
Ju§t1n: why am i annoying?
Ju§t1n: answer me
Ju§t1n: UGH
Ju§t1n: go away
————–
AT THIS TIME I THOUGHT SHE WOULD NEVER IM ME AGAIN BUT I KEPT GOING…
————–
Ju§t1n: hello
(NO ANSWER)
Ju§t1n: bonjour
(NO ANSWER)
Ju§t1n: salut
(NO ANSWER)
————–
THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT IT SAID SHE WASN’T ON ANYMORE WHICH I KNEW WAS FAKE BECAUSE I WAS ON 2 DIFFERENT NAMES. THIS GOT ME MAD…
————–
Runtime Error 1: HELLO, this is MYSTERY HACKER… WHY YOU IGNORE ME?
————–
IT THEN SAID SHE WAS NO LONGER ON AGAIN SO I LOGGED ON AGAIN…
I HAD COME UP WITH A VERY ANNOYING “SONG”
————–
Runtime Error 2: YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO TOWN RIDING ON A PONY
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: STOPPP
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: STOPPP
————–
I THEN IMED HER ON RUNTIME 3 AND 4
————–
Runtime Error 3: STUCK A FEATHER IN HIS HAT
Runtime Error 4: AND CALLEDIT MACCARONI
Runtime Error 2: YANKEE DOODLE KEEP ITUP
Runtime Error 3: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…
Runtime Error 4: YA DA DA DA DA DA…
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: GO AWAY
————–
THEN SHE WAS NO LONGER ON AGAIN. I LOGGED ON TO YET SOME MORE NAMES…
————–
This SN is Lame: do you know yankee doodle?
This SN is Lame: yankee doodlekeep it up….
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: OMG
sEkZiLiZzYwiZzY: GO AWAY
This SN is Lame: yankee doodle…
This SN is Lame: dandy!
————–
THEN SHE WASNT ON ANYMORE.(YOU KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT)
————–
Singing Carrot: YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO TOWN…
Singing Carrot: RIDING NO A PONY
Singing Carrot: HIP HIP HOORAY!
————–
AND THEN ANOTHER NAME.
————–
JustInCaseUBite: HIP HIP HOORAY!
————–
I WAS THEN ABOUT TO LOG ONTO 2 MORE NAMES WHEN THE UNEXPECTED HAPPENED… I GOT AN IM FROM HER FRIEND.(Elite Force)
————–
EliteForce: hi u ass
EliteForce: leave her alone you fucking stalker
Singing Carrot: YANKEE DOODLE
EliteForce: ur a moron
Singing Carrot: YANKEE DOODLE
EliteForce: i’m about to Yankee Doodle my foot up ur ass
Singing Carrot: Will it make maccaroni?
————–
AFTER THAT LAST REMARK I WAS LMAO
————–
EliteForce: Dude girls hate over obessive guys
Singing Carrot: good
————–
THEN I NEVER GOT ANOTHER INSTANT MESSAGE… BUT I HAD A FUCKING FUN TIME LOL.
#5952: sxywendy21f -> Mugen Guy
sxywendy21f: hey whats up, I’m Wendy. I was looking for fun people online and I found your name 🙂 I have a webpage and a webcam, so click here to see it
Mugen Guy: hey whats up wendy?
Mugen Guy: howz it goin
Mugen Guy: i havent talked to you in awhile
Mugen Guy: i already saw your web page remember
Mugen Guy: ?
Mugen Guy: you know what im tired of this everytime you im me you never respond
Mugen Guy: what kind of relationship is this
Mugen Guy: forget you then bleotch dont ever im me again
#5951: Melissag -> Mugen Guy
Melissag: hi
Mugen Guy: hi
Melissag: hi
Mugen Guy: howz it goin whats the good word?
Melissag: who is this
Mugen Guy: this is mugen
Melissag: huh?
Mugen Guy: my name is mugen
Mugen Guy: whats your name
Melissag: how do you pronounce that
Melissag: missy
Mugen Guy: muugin
Melissag: what ethnicity are you? i dont mean to offend you by that question..sorry if i do..i just have never heard that name before
Mugen Guy: german mexican
Melissag: so is your name german or mexican?
Mugen Guy: neither my dad likes honda a lot so he named me after a honda tuner[
Melissag: lol cute cute
Melissag: do you skate?
Mugen Guy: thanks hehe
Mugen Guy: no but i wear the shoes
Melissag: haha
Melissag: that doesnt count buddy
Melissag: i just thought that since roller was in your sn that you did
Melissag: but its all good
Mugen Guy: naw this my friends s/n
Mugen Guy: my screen name is circuitsi
Melissag: oh
Melissag: so are you two just bored?
Mugen Guy: no i like talking to new people cause people dont find me attractice so they dont talkto me
Mugen Guy: have you ever seen goonies?
Melissag: haha random
Mugen Guy: random what?
Mugen Guy: ?
Mugen Guy: ?
Melissag: that question
Mugen Guy: no
Mugen Guy: i look like the guy from goonies
Mugen Guy: “hey you guys”
Melissag: oh
Melissag: oh i havent seen that movie
Mugen Guy: oh well hes ugly
Mugen Guy: jk
Melissag: whatever
Mugen Guy: do you have a picture
Melissag: you probablyarent as ugly as you say or think you are
Melissag: yeah
Mugen Guy: will you send your pic to me a volksi@aol.com
Melissag: sorry i dont out my picture to people i dont know
Mugen Guy: oh well you want my pic first?
Melissag: if you want to send it to me its your choice
Melissag: i wont stop you
Mugen Guy: will you send yours if i send mine first
Melissag: geeze…either send me your picture or dont
Melissag: either way i wont lose sleep over this
Mugen Guy: hey there is no need to get all upset…are you on your period?
Melissag: hey are you lame?
Mugen Guy: no but i like limes
Mugen Guy: im sorry i think im schizophrenic
Mugen Guy: i have multiple personalities im a 5150
Melissag: uhhh ok..well it was nice talking to you
Mugen Guy: i took acid like 8 times and im legally insane
Mugen Guy: have a stupendous evening
Melissag: bye
Mugen Guy: why are you leaving
Mugen Guy: whats up howz it goin
Melissag: cuz you are lame
Melissag: i dont talk to randoms
Mugen Guy: what are randoms
Melissag: you
Mugen Guy: what am i though
Mugen Guy: im a carbon breathing human just like you
Mugen Guy: does that mean you are a random
Melissag: youre some random i dont even know….and you are weird
Mugen Guy: if im a random and i breath air does that make you a random too cause you breath air dont you
Melissag: ok stop talking
Mugen Guy: ok but can i still type cause im not using my mouth just my fingers
Mugen Guy: you gotta be specific
Mugen Guy: have you ever seen that one movie with jean claude van damme
Mugen Guy: bloodsport
Melissag: omg shut up
Mugen Guy: where he goes son of a bitch …..is that good enough guys
Mugen Guy: is it possible to shut up…or can i shut down will that work too
Mugen Guy: ?
Mugen Guy: thats rude your not supposed to ignore people
Mugen Guy: didnt the pack of wolves that raised you teach you any manners?
Mugen Guy: oh sorry wrong im
Mugen Guy: please dont go …you konow like that song by john secada
Mugen Guy: cmon if you dont talk to my im gonna commit suicide well john my other half is but ill still be here
Mugen Guy: i guess i came on too strong ay well take care now byebye then
#5950: blowthetoad -> davepoobond
blowthetoad was on a different sn, trying to be annoying, but it was very easy to tell that it was him. He’s stupid, cause he calls davepoobond “young david” when dave is 3 years older than him.
——
blowthetoad: hello there young david
blowthetoad: do you dream of horses running on the beach, with a sun set, and sand in your hair?????/
blowthetoad: because i do
blowthetoad: so…
blowthetoad: remove your foot from my poop
davepoobond: ok
blowthetoad: :: kisses you, and congradulates you ::
blowthetoad: my number on my screen name is higher than yours
blowthetoad: so haha
davepoobond: who the hell r u
blowthetoad: oh, so what now? u think you’re a hot shot
blowthetoad: a big boy
blowthetoad: i am….
blowthetoad: hm…..
blowthetoad: mr. rogers
blowthetoad: and who are you? young david
blowthetoad: talk to me, tell me your name, you’re like a la la la la parachute, she walks like she talks and she talks like she walks
blowthetoad: she bangs, she bags
blowthetoad: the magical horses
blowthetoad: she poops like a rabbit, and fucks like a bee
blowthetoad: like ever girl, in history
blowthetoad: [chorus]
blowthetoad: i want chicken i want liver meow mix meow mix so delicious
blowthetoad: you are so beautiful
blowthetoad: now i must leeve……to my mission…..
blowthetoad: to the moon
blowthetoad: good bye……i will always always love you
davepoobond: ok great
blowthetoad: my dearest……
blowthetoad: David John Bond
davepoobond: heh
blowthetoad: :: cries and goes into space ship shaped like a penis ::
blowthetoad: :: waves good-bye ::
blowthetoad: :: rocket launches in air ::
blowthetoad: :: rocket falls down ::
blowthetoad: :: breaks David John Bond’s (c) penis ::
blowthetoad: :: runs away ::
blowthetoad: :: gets in a space ship again ::
blowthetoad: ::waves good-bye and flys off::
blowthetoad: weeeeeeeeeeeee
blowthetoad: :: space ship makes poopy t.v. out of tune sound ::
blowthetoad: :: dissapears in mid-air ::
#5949: blowthetoad -> ELeMenT
blowthetoad: WAWAWA!!!!! I ATE A PINK TUNA!
ELeMenT: wtf dude thats sick
blowthetoad: not if you wear pink pants on your head and plug your nose, and look like rodger rabbit, and have a black dot on the tip of your nose!
ELeMenT: dude idk if its drugs you are taking or drugs you need to be takin, but do SOMETHING
blowthetoad: why, roger rabbit is a sex symbol!
ELeMenT: dude get some sleep
blowthetoad: why!!!!! im sexier than the poo in your bottox!
ELeMenT: holy shit dude lol
blowthetoad: but it’s true…..
ELeMenT: hahaa
blowthetoad: don’t laugh at me you bisexual ape with a pokédot pokémon bow in your hair!!!!!!!!!!
ELeMenT: ok
blowthetoad: promise?
blowthetoad: cross your heart?
blowthetoad: hope 2 die?
blowthetoad: stick a poo in your eye?
blowthetoad: DEAL
blowthetoad: :: SHAKES HANDS ::
#5948: blowthetoad -> KinkyKat
blowthetoad: how’s carly?
KinkyKat: uMM iM SurE ShEs oK
KinkyKat: whoS Dis
blowthetoad: chicken little
blowthetoad: and you?
KinkyKat: uMM
KinkyKat: BoB
blowthetoad: wow
blowthetoad: my mom’s name is ‘BoB’!!! WITH A CAPITOL B!
KinkyKat: Coo Coo
blowthetoad: Si Si
KinkyKat: LoLz
KinkyKat: coMo eSTa (how are you?)
blowthetoad: asi asi (eh…i’m okay)
blowthetoad: y tu? (and you?)
KinkyKat: Mas o MeNos (:: shrugs ::)
blowthetoad: umm…. ok
blowthetoad: si* (yes)
KinkyKat: Naw FreaLz….
KinkyKat: wHo i S diS?
blowthetoad: CHICKEN LITTLE!!!!!
KinkyKat: oK
KinkyKat: Do i Noe u?
KinkyKat: asHLeY?
blowthetoad: AnD wHy Do yOu YoU tYpE LiKe ThIs?
blowthetoad: does it do it automaticly?
KinkyKat: uH No
KinkyKat: HaBiT
KinkyKat: i oNo
blowthetoad: habit?
KinkyKat: YeaH suRe
blowthetoad: weeeeee
blowthetoad: :: toots :: (habbit)
KinkyKat: ??
KinkyKat: oK
KinkyKat: iM coNFuSeD
blowthetoad: lets start from the top….
blowthetoad: i farted…..
KinkyKat: oK
blowthetoad: it’s a habbit…..
KinkyKat: oK
blowthetoad: got it?
KinkyKat: i caNt SPeLL?
blowthetoad: exactly
blowthetoad: thats my point
blowthetoad: duh
KinkyKat: oK TheN
KinkyKat: Too BaDD i Nu DaT ALreaDy
blowthetoad: alright
blowthetoad: yeah
blowthetoad: oh well
blowthetoad: lifes a big pickle….
KinkyKat: PiCKLeS R GrosS
blowthetoad: no
blowthetoad: i like them
KinkyKat: YES
KinkyKat: Woo Hoo FeR u
blowthetoad: cucumbers are also yummy
KinkyKat: oK
KinkyKat: do i Noe u??
blowthetoad: yes…. and a big H( o )( o ) TER PAIR FOR YOU!
blowthetoad: YeS No MaYbE So
KinkyKat: wtF!
KinkyKat: oK wHo r u?
blowthetoad: C
blowthetoad: H
blowthetoad: I
blowthetoad: C
blowthetoad: K
blowthetoad: E
blowthetoad: N
KinkyKat: uR MaKiNg MeeH MaD!!
blowthetoad: L
blowthetoad: I
blowthetoad: T
blowthetoad: T
KinkyKat: BYe
blowthetoad: L
blowthetoad: E
blowthetoad: WAIT!!!!!!
KinkyKat: wHAT
blowthetoad: REMEMBER ME!????
KinkyKat: uH No
KinkyKat: ………………………………….!!!!!!!!!!!!
blowthetoad: yes…..
blowthetoad: im sorry u had to hear that
blowthetoad: my dog farted in your face….
KinkyKat: wHaT
KinkyKat: oK
KinkyKat: NewaYz
KinkyKat: Bye
blowthetoad: thtinky poo
blowthetoad: WAIT!!!!!!1
blowthetoad: my name is….
blowthetoad: ASHLEY
KinkyKat: Too BaDD iTz NawT HuH
KinkyKat: …….. braNdon??
blowthetoad: i know :-\
KinkyKat: watEVeR
KinkyKat: Go awaY
blowthetoad: huh?
blowthetoad: where did u get brandon from?
KinkyKat: suM1
blowthetoad: oh, that one person…..
KinkyKat: YaH
KinkyKat: DiS oNe PeRsoN
blowthetoad: No LiMiT KuTHi?
KinkyKat: YaH
blowthetoad: i see
KinkyKat: woW
blowthetoad: what
KinkyKat: Bye
blowthetoad: wait
KinkyKat: oK
blowthetoad: bye, i THOUGHT this was michael…..
KinkyKat: NewaYz
blowthetoad: guess not
KinkyKat: GoodbYe!!
blowthetoad: tu gordo pito……
KinkyKat: sure
blowthetoad: asta lasanga, poopé face!
#5947: wHaTArEuDoiNg -> blowthetoad
wHaTArEuDoiNg: 🙂
blowthetoad: 😉
wHaTArEuDoiNg: hi
blowthetoad: hi
wHaTArEuDoiNg: 🙂
blowthetoad: 😉
wHaTArEuDoiNg: whats up?!
blowthetoad: sky
wHaTArEuDoiNg: uh okay
blowthetoad: 😛