Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10569: davepoobond -> POWder DJ

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davepoobond: pow

POWder DJ: NEVER

POWder DJ: yes? how can i help you

davepoobond: by dying

POWder DJ: oh please dont, i just died like 32 times this weekend

davepoobond: aw thats so sad

POWder DJ: at lease gimme a breeeeaakkk

davepoobond: ok one coffee break then

POWder DJ: yay

POWder DJ: depesche mode is god

davepoobond: yes they are

POWder DJ: whats up with you

davepoobond: nothin. u

POWder DJ: i just died like 32 times this weekend

POWder DJ: like i said

davepoobond: oh yeah….

POWder DJ: i was sick as fucking hell

POWder DJ: but

davepoobond: that’s pretty sad on a 4 day weekend

POWder DJ: one hour photo came out today

POWder DJ: and so did rules of attraction

POWder DJ: and um buying them

davepoobond: rules of attraction? was that any good

POWder DJ: um

POWder DJ: its my favorite movie ever

davepoobond: is that the one with nicolas cage or vanderbeek

POWder DJ: besides requiem for a dream

POWder DJ: vanderbeek

POWder DJ: not cage

davepoobond: they’re both so alike

davepoobond: stupid writers getting ideas off of each other

davepoobond: make up your own shit! that’s what i always say

davepoobond: well not really

POWder DJ: i make up my own shit

davepoobond: i usually flush mine though…

davepoobond: har har

POWder DJ: this is elmoisfurry right if im not mistaken

davepoobond: no..

POWder DJ: hm

POWder DJ: then youre one of his frienes

davepoobond: who is this

davepoobond: anyway

POWder DJ: Fajita Bum gave me this sn like 5 years ago

davepoobond: uhh….

davepoobond: didnt know that…

POWder DJ: you imd me so you tell me who you are

POWder DJ: haha

davepoobond: dave…

POWder DJ: a?

davepoobond: you were just on my buddy list

POWder DJ: that was my SECOND choice

POWder DJ: haha

davepoobond: i dont know how you got there anyway

POWder DJ: elmoisfurry ims me sometimes

POWder DJ: so i thought it might be him

POWder DJ: and hes friends with Fajita Bum

POWder DJ: so it kinda loopholes

POWder DJ: this is carl

davepoobond: i’m friends with Fajita Bum too

POWder DJ: i know

POWder DJ: so am i

davepoobond: oh ha…yeah

POWder DJ: you should see rules

POWder DJ: its really good

davepoobond: i’ll try to catch it on hbo or somethin

POWder DJ: have you seen requiem for a dream

POWder DJ: ah youre lame

davepoobond: no

POWder DJ: rent ti

davepoobond: but that costs money

POWder DJ: ah youre double-o lame-o

davepoobond: yeah well

davepoobond: i’m not exactly that exciting anyway

POWder DJ: rent em both

POWder DJ: its liek 6 buuuuucl

POWder DJ: buckkkkks

POWder DJ: u still get money off squackle?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: 17 bucks so far

POWder DJ: there yah go

POWder DJ: hahahhaha

POWder DJ: well

POWder DJ: use some ofthat

POWder DJ: !

davepoobond: no, that’s just the money i like looking at

davepoobond: y’know, gotta have some of that

POWder DJ: ooh yes

POWder DJ: thats wonderful

POWder DJ: stuff there

davepoobond: i saw jay and silent bob yesterday wow

POWder DJ: ehh

POWder DJ: the first 4

davepoobond: strike back

POWder DJ: in the series were so much better

davepoobond: only that one.

davepoobond: i haven’t seen anything else with them though

POWder DJ: wow dude

davepoobond: eh what can i say? too much Joe Millionaire………..

POWder DJ: you need to invest your 17 dollars… and rent those and requiem
and rules

POWder DJ: HAHA JOE MILLIONARE IS SO LAME

POWder DJ: the only tv i ever watch

davepoobond: yeah it was pretty lame yesterday

POWder DJ: is comedy central

POWder DJ: and then

POWder DJ: the last episode

POWder DJ: of joe millionare

davepoobond: they were talkin about a stupid twist

davepoobond: there wasn’t any fuckin twist

davepoobond: they just gave them a million

POWder DJ: i know

POWder DJ: that would have been bad ass if

POWder DJ: brb

davepoobond: they made such a big deal out of it

davepoobond: k

POWder DJ: yeah

POWder DJ: back

POWder DJ: no if

davepoobond: k

POWder DJ: after she was like

POWder DJ: ill continue the journy

POWder DJ: the guy comes out

POWder DJ: the annoying short guy

POWder DJ: paul or whatever

POWder DJ: and hes like

davepoobond: stupid butler

POWder DJ: congradulations….. now you get to choose him or ill give
you a million dollars!

POWder DJ: she would take the million

POWder DJ: that would be funny

davepoobond: didnt he just give them the million bucks

davepoobond: i didnt see the whole thing, it was too stupid

POWder DJ: yeah they dud

POWder DJ: did

POWder DJ: but taht would be badass if theyt like fucked him over like
that

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: i knew it was gonna be Zora from the first episode

davepoobond: i was hoping she’d lose

davepoobond: cause her stupid town was “supporting her”

davepoobond: and she’s so nice

davepoobond: man it woulda been great to see her go down in flames

davepoobond: “i was thinking of selling my necklace so i can help my aunt
with cancer”

davepoobond: that’s such crap no one does that except her

POWder DJ: lmao

POWder DJ: i didnt see any of that

POWder DJ: i only saw the last episode

POWder DJ: but

POWder DJ: yeah shes lame

davepoobond: i saw that whole hour of them talking about those stupid girls

POWder DJ: bull shit

davepoobond: all those girls were so boring

POWder DJ: no shit

davepoobond: they were showing what they did in their spare time

POWder DJ: they just wanted the money

davepoobond: that stupid asian girl was a “hula hoop champion”

POWder DJ: LMAO

davepoobond: A FUCKIN HULA HOOP CHAMPION and she’s like “why didnt he pick
me? i definitely woulda stayed longer if he knew that i was a hula hoop champion”

davepoobond: “i woulda rocked his world”

POWder DJ: no way

POWder DJ: they prob chose like 50 dumbasses to say shit like that

POWder DJ: my god

davepoobond: and it was so ridiculous when they were talking about sara and
her fetish videos

davepoobond: instead of showing the real thing

POWder DJ: wha?

davepoobond: they showed “simulations”

davepoobond: of people being tied up

davepoobond: only showing their feet though

POWder DJ: hahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha

davepoobond: or their wrists

POWder DJ: hahahahhahahahhaa

davepoobond: and they were still shots

POWder DJ: silly FOX……..

davepoobond: i like FOX, but they’re just stupid sometimes

POWder DJ: lol i kno

davepoobond: especially with “fox box”

davepoobond: and “power rangers ninja storm”

POWder DJ: whats a fox box

davepoobond: the stupid name they call their kids thing in the morning

davepoobond: kids programming

POWder DJ: haha

davepoobond: its not as gay as “1 saturday morning” though

POWder DJ: haha

POWder DJ: i wouldnt even know

POWder DJ: i hate tv

POWder DJ: i like

POWder DJ: the chapelle show

POWder DJ: insomnia with dave attell

davepoobond: yeah i saw 1 episode of that, but its on too late for me

POWder DJ: and

POWder DJ: south park

POWder DJ: and the man show

POWder DJ: umm

POWder DJ: and snl

POWder DJ: and

POWder DJ: uhhhh

POWder DJ: thats about it

POWder DJ: i gtg shower tho later bro

davepoobond: k bye

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10568: fartsinajar -> davepoobond

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fartsinajar: you are stupid

davepoobond: why

fartsinajar: because you are effeminate

davepoobond: i’m not a girl

fartsinajar: yes

fartsinajar: youare not

fartsinajar: but you are effeminate

fartsinajar: d

davepoobond: nor am i feminine

fartsinajar: haha

fartsinajar: oh forget it

davepoobond: k

fartsinajar: so

fartsinajar: pantera rocks

fartsinajar: in case you were wondering

davepoobond: yeah ok

fartsinajar: yeeeeeaaaaah

fartsinajar: hhhh

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10567: davepoobond -> MrDruggedPolitic

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davepoobond: so

davepoobond: are you happy now?

davepoobond: how is it now

davepoobond: are yo happy nowwwww

MrDruggedPolitic: what are you talkin about?

davepoobond: what are YOU talkin about

MrDruggedPolitic: i’m not talkin about anything

davepoobond: nor was i

MrDruggedPolitic: what the hell was all that about then?

davepoobond: all what

MrDruggedPolitic: so

davepoobond: are you happy now?

davepoobond: how is it now

davepoobond: are yo happy nowwwww

davepoobond: ….

davepoobond: i dont know what you’re talkin about

davepoobond: i didnt do that

MrDruggedPolitic: ok, who is this anyway

davepoobond: guess

MrDruggedPolitic: alan?

davepoobond: yeah that’s me

MrDruggedPolitic: k

davepoobond: you got it

davepoobond: how are you doing pal

MrDruggedPolitic: are you keepin this screen name?

davepoobond: had you going for a while

davepoobond: yeah, i think so

MrDruggedPolitic: mque

MrDruggedPolitic: do you have “my guitar wants to kill your mama”?

davepoobond: no, what is that

MrDruggedPolitic: is by frank zappa

davepoobond: never heard of it

davepoobond: did you tell me something about it before

MrDruggedPolitic: it’s a pretty good song

MrDruggedPolitic: ya

davepoobond: silly me, har har, i forgot about it

davepoobond: so how’s it going, buddy

MrDruggedPolitic: fine

MrDruggedPolitic: how did la bumba go?

davepoobond: eh it wasn’t as great as i thought

MrDruggedPolitic: you actually found people to blast music to while makin’ out?

davepoobond: not really, this old hag came along and started saying she’d call the cops

davepoobond: so we had to “disease and disperse”

davepoobond: as she said

MrDruggedPolitic: lol

davepoobond: she slurred like a bitch

davepoobond: she really meant decease

davepoobond: but you got the idea

davepoobond: she was shaking her cane around

MrDruggedPolitic: old people are always making up figures of speech

MrDruggedPolitic: or whatever you call it

davepoobond: damn conservatives

davepoobond: you cant even get some without conservatives telling you its wrong

davepoobond: there should be “Generation Cleansing” every 20 years

MrDruggedPolitic: ya

davepoobond: oh well

MrDruggedPolitic: old people are there to spread their great wisdom and experience but all they do is complain

davepoobond: not until I’m president of the world will that happen

MrDruggedPolitic: and talk about their pills

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: “claritin is so good for me…i dont sneeze anymore”

davepoobond: “yeah, so is the Perploxcoxin, i lost that bad ache in my back”

davepoobond: “oh perploxcoxin…i take that too”

davepoobond: they have their own language it seems

davepoobond: stupid drug names

MrDruggedPolitic: ya

davepoobond: have you seen Minority Report

MrDruggedPolitic: no

davepoobond: that’s a great movie man

MrDruggedPolitic: i wanted to see it but i never got around to it

davepoobond: you should

davepoobond: so how’s your girlfriend

davepoobond: i forgot her name

MrDruggedPolitic: i don’t have one remember?

davepoobond: oh yeah, that’s why i dont know her name

davepoobond: silly me

MrDruggedPolitic: ya, this isn’t alan

davepoobond: yeah ok, you got me

davepoobond: i had you goin for a while though huh

MrDruggedPolitic: ya

davepoobond: how did i do

MrDruggedPolitic: verticoe

davepoobond: did i talk like he did

davepoobond: like about the old people

davepoobond: and junk

MrDruggedPolitic: no

davepoobond: was that all just junk to test me or something

MrDruggedPolitic: ya

davepoobond: i knew it

MrDruggedPolitic: ok, so what’s your point in this?

davepoobond: i dont know

davepoobond: i’m bored

MrDruggedPolitic: ya, good way to waist time

davepoobond: yeah especially since its a part of the body

MrDruggedPolitic: ?

davepoobond: “waist”

MrDruggedPolitic: k

MrDruggedPolitic: waste is that better

davepoobond: yeah it is

MrDruggedPolitic: i screwed that up on my damn english project too

davepoobond: too bad

davepoobond: english is important

MrDruggedPolitic: english is a dumb language

davepoobond: would you rather be speaking another language

MrDruggedPolitic: probably

davepoobond: you know how the public service announcements say knowledge is the anti-drug

davepoobond: people that know all about the drug still do the drug

MrDruggedPolitic: ya

davepoobond: so i dont think that knowledge is the anti-drug

davepoobond: force is the anti-drug. if you put a gun to the person’s head everytime they reached for a smoke, they’d stop

davepoobond: don’t you agree

MrDruggedPolitic: i think the government is gay spending tons of money on anti-drug forces when they could spend it on other more useful things

davepoobond: like military

MrDruggedPolitic: i say let people do drugs if they want to

davepoobond: yeah, it’ll get rid of them

davepoobond: then we won’t have the problem

MrDruggedPolitic: ya

davepoobond: they don’t see that though

MrDruggedPolitic: it’s the same thing that happened with alchohol

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#10566: davepoobond -> UkilledKenny

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davepoobond: 😀

UkilledKenny: hi

davepoobond: 😀

UkilledKenny: who dis?

davepoobond: 😀

UkilledKenny: who r u?

davepoobond: 😀

UkilledKenny: who is this and if u don’t tell me i’m gonna black u

UkilledKenny: *block

davepoobond: dont block me

UkilledKenny: then tell me who u r

davepoobond: dave

UkilledKenny: k

davepoobond: i live at 4562 Stocker Avenue, Los Angeles, Alabama

UkilledKenny: i didn’t really need to kno ur address

UkilledKenny: wut’s ur asl?

davepoobond: well isnt that what you wanted to know

UkilledKenny: asl plz

davepoobond: cause you’re asking me who i was

UkilledKenny: nvm

davepoobond: 17/m/alabama

UkilledKenny: o ok

UkilledKenny: 13 f texas

davepoobond: confederates forever

UkilledKenny: ok then

UkilledKenny: tell me about urself

davepoobond: uhh no

UkilledKenny: k

davepoobond: tell me about u

UkilledKenny: wut u wanna kno?

davepoobond: sexual preference

UkilledKenny: wut about it

davepoobond: what is it

UkilledKenny: wut do u mean?

davepoobond: how do you take it

davepoobond: preferably

UkilledKenny: i’ve never had it lol

davepoobond: well that’s a turn off

UkilledKenny: ok then

davepoobond: but if you did where would you take it

UkilledKenny: i’m not sure

davepoobond: up the ass, in the ear

davepoobond: through the belly button

UkilledKenny: i rather have it up my ass than my ear

UkilledKenny: lol

davepoobond: 😀

UkilledKenny: k

davepoobond: so

Previous message was not received by UkilledKenny because of error: User UkilledKenny is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10565: davepoobond -> SatanaMcVixen18

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davepoobond: suck it up you ninny

SatanaMcVixen18: n who the hell r u?

davepoobond: 😀

SatanaMcVixen18: ur so damn funny

davepoobond: 😀

davepoobond: so bitch

–

They warn me to 55% from 35%.

–

davepoobond: you did not just do that

SatanaMcVixen18: i did

–

I warn them to 5%.

–

SatanaMcVixen18: n ill block u too

davepoobond: fine

–

I warn him to 10%.

I get warned to 65%.

–

davepoobond: HA

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10563: davepoobond -> MuRdaBaBy / LiLAngiiL -> davepoobond

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davepoobond: ….murrrrdeerrrr……….

MuRdaBaBy: who dis?

davepoobond: i’m a pre-caug

davepoobond: haven’t you seen Minority Report

MuRdaBaBy: say what?

MuRdaBaBy: yea n so0 …

MuRdaBaBy: yo0 provin wut?

davepoobond: i can see the FUUUUtuuRREE

MuRdaBaBy: suUre ya can

davepoobond: i can i’ll prove it

MuRdaBaBy: i think mayb yo0 freaked …

MuRdaBaBy: go c a psychoatrist … Lo0sa

davepoobond: who? your mom?

davepoobond: ahaha

MuRdaBaBy: nyce … leave meh alone … freak ass NiGGa

–

She warns me to 30%.

–

MuRdaBaBy: >:ogo talk pyscho 2 sumwun else …

davepoobond: who? your mom?

Previous message was not received by MuRdaBaBy because of error: User MuRdaBaBy is not available.

–

I warn her to 30%.  Afterwards, I get an IM from LilAngiiL.  I’m guessing it is MuRdaBaBy’s boyfriend.

–

LiLAngiiL: hey freak … will yah leave mah gurl ALONE … pyscho ass HOLE

davepoobond: who’s your girl

Previous message was not received by LiLAngiiL because of error: User LiLAngiiL is not available.

–

I warn him to 20%.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10562: davepoobond -> Anguished Angel

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davepoobond: rico….suave…

Anguished Angel: wha?

davepoobond: i have an apology to make.

davepoobond: to money

Anguished Angel: do i know you?

davepoobond: you saw me on that hit show Days of Our Lives

Anguished Angel: i doubt that

davepoobond: …

davepoobond: aw comon

davepoobond: you had to

Anguished Angel: seriously, do i know you?

davepoobond: i’m a soap opera actor

Anguished Angel: is that so? then tell me, what character do you play?

davepoobond: that australian guy

davepoobond: the one that disarmed the plastic explosive

Anguished Angel: does that australian guy have a name?

davepoobond: that said “plastic explosive” on it

Anguished Angel: i dont watch the show

davepoobond: not yet he doesnt

Anguished Angel: i dont believe you

davepoobond: i dont believe YOU

Anguished Angel: you have nothing to believe about me

davepoobond: sure i do

davepoobond: umm

Anguished Angel: like what?

davepoobond: ur not an angel

davepoobond: ha

davepoobond: how about THAT

Anguished Angel: yeah, that’s true

Anguished Angel: let me guess. you’re name is dave?

davepoobond: HOW’D YOU KNOW

Anguished Angel: i dont know…

davepoobond: OH MY GOD

Anguished Angel: pretty good, eh?

davepoobond: sorry i’m in shock

Anguished Angel: i can imagine you are

Anguished Angel: sometimes i shock myself

Anguished Angel: i have another shocker

Anguished Angel: hmmm… you are a male?

davepoobond: what is it

davepoobond: AGH

davepoobond: you’re my kinda man

Anguished Angel: i’m not a man..

davepoobond: AGH

Anguished Angel: yep

Anguished Angel: sorry to disappoint you

davepoobond: its ok

davepoobond: i didnt get disappointed though

davepoobond: see, it was actually supposed to be an insult

davepoobond: an affrontal, if you will

davepoobond: because i thought you were a man

davepoobond: when you really weren’t

Anguished Angel: funny

Anguished Angel: how old are you?

davepoobond: 17, you

Anguished Angel: 15

Anguished Angel: wow..

davepoobond: wow what

Anguished Angel: i dont know.

Anguished Angel: i’m gonna go. i’ll think about adding you to my buddy list…hmmm.

Anguished Angel: goodbye

davepoobond: k bye

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10560: alexnorbts -> davepoobond

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alexnorbts: whats up man

alexnorbts: how u doin

davepoobond: not much, you

alexnorbts: not doin anything

alexnorbts: do u have bartows cell #

alexnorbts: can u get it

davepoobond: no, sorry

alexnorbts: damn

alexnorbts: aight

alexnorbts: do u have anyones #

alexnorbts: katies

davepoobond: no

alexnorbts: i just need to find my cell fone

alexnorbts: cool i got it

davepoobond: ok good

alexnorbts: how u doin buddy

davepoobond: alright

davepoobond: and you

alexnorbts: good

alexnorbts: what u doin tomorow

davepoobond: sleeping

alexnorbts: ha

alexnorbts: tight

alexnorbts: besides that sleepy ass

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10559: SR71 Steve -> davepoobond

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SR71 Steve: hello

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: are you the real slim shady

SR71 Steve: ?

davepoobond: sure

SR71 Steve: then say something slim shadyish

davepoobond: yo i’m slim shady no i’m not the real slim shady

SR71 Steve: the REAL slim shday wouldn’t say that

SR71 Steve: damn it

davepoobond: sorry

SR71 Steve: my search continues

davepoobond: ok good

SR71 Steve: remember, it is imparitive that the cherro fruit loop allaince NOT losse the milk front to the chex invaders

davepoobond: i’ll keep that in mind

davepoobond: the roof. the roof is on fire.

SR71 Steve: no

SR71 Steve: noo

SR71 Steve: it’s that damn lephachans work again

davepoobond: but today is valentine’s day

davepoobond: why would they do that

SR71 Steve: we’ll get his lucky charms irrelgales

davepoobond: they’re in their leprachan beds jacking off now

SR71 Steve: good, a chanse to infiltrate

SR71 Steve: try and get the 4 leaf clovers

SR71 Steve: the rainbows

SR71 Steve: and if possible the pots of gold

SR71 Steve: leave all non marshmellows

SR71 Steve: they’re not our concern

davepoobond: of course.

SR71 Steve: What is the current position of the Trix rabbit?

davepoobond: half way between gay and child molestor

SR71 Steve: ah of corse

SR71 Steve: and delsuion

SR71 Steve: he thinks he can just get Trix

SR71 Steve: but he doesn’t really WANT them

SR71 Steve: he need to make the kids feel his WANT

SR71 Steve: and not in the way he usualy does itd

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10555: davepoobond -> KaosAngel

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davepoobond: and the pirate will lead us to heaven!

KaosAngel: what!?

davepoobond: what

davepoobond: if there’s a bustle in your headstrong, don’t you be alone now

davepoobond: yes there are 2 paths you can go on, but in the long run

davepoobond: there’s still time to change the road youre on

davepoobond: and it makes me wonder

davepoobond: ahhhhhhhhhh

davepoobond: do you know that song

KaosAngel: brb