Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10554: davepoobond -> TBomb

Leave a comment

davepoobond: get a load of this. this was on the Copyright Office’s FAQ page:

davepoobond:

How do I protect my sighting of Elvis? Copyright law does not protect sightings. However, copyright law will protect your photo (or other depiction) of your sighting of Elvis. Just send it to us with a form VA application and the $30 filing fee. No one can lawfully use your photo of your sighting, although someone else may file his own photo of his sighting. Copyright law protects the original photograph, not the subject of the photograph.

TBomb: hm.

davepoobond: funny huh

TBomb: it does not protect the subject of the photo

TBomb: psh.. sighting of elvis

TBomb: HAHA

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: took a while man

TBomb: well u could make up the photo and say taht u saw him

davepoobond: sure

davepoobond: it doesnt really matter

TBomb: u should do dat

TBomb: put it in ur site

davepoobond: you’re copyrighting the photo though

davepoobond: not what it is of

TBomb: ya

davepoobond: if i took a picture of my comp it would be no more special than a picture of elvis

TBomb: HAHA

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10553: davepoobond -> Phoenix

Leave a comment

davepoobond: Welcome to the club, You Belong

davepoobond: where you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do

davepoobond: club K Swiss

Phoenix: club K Swiss?!?

davepoobond: of course!

davepoobond: a place where you can hang together, and stand apart

davepoobond: and do what you want to do, no limits

davepoobond: you belong.

davepoobond: =-O

davepoobond: it was on a book cover

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: all that i said

davepoobond: and the “of course!”

davepoobond: except that

Phoenix: weird…

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: damn polish company

davepoobond: ….or is it swiss

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10552: davepoobond -> TBomb

Leave a comment

davepoobond: lights and i cant be safe

davepoobond: tides that i try to swim againt

davepoobond: against

davepoobond: blahdy blahdy

davepoobond: boy i’m bored

TBomb: wats dat song

davepoobond: cold play – clocks

TBomb: really?

TBomb: hm..

davepoobond: yeah

TBomb: i never really listened closely to the lyrics

davepoobond: well you SHOULD

TBomb: AHHA

TBomb: that song gets boring after a while tho

davepoobond: you never know when you might have to sing that song

TBomb: HAHAHAHAH

davepoobond: wtf are you talkin about! the piano makesit all the more exciting

davepoobond: dooba dooba doobaaa dooba dooba dunna dunna dunna

davepoobond: DUNNANUNUNUNA NUNUNANANA

TBomb: it repeats over and over

davepoobond: so

TBomb: so it gets boring

davepoobond: fine then

davepoobond: ass

TBomb: HAHAHA

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10549: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

stimpyismyname: it says you’ve been online for 12 days

davepoobond: ….wtf

stimpyismyname: weeeeeiiird

davepoobond: no it doesnt

davepoobond: it says 2 minutes

stimpyismyname: does for me

stimpyismyname: 12 days 3 hours 14 minutes

davepoobond: are you sure its not on another name

stimpyismyname: yep

stimpyismyname: who cares

stimpyismyname: its just weird

davepoobond: whateve

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10548: davepoobond -> TBomb

Leave a comment

davepoobond: i just killed a moth with my super fast reflexes

TBomb: really?

davepoobond: oh yeah

davepoobond: clapped it between my muscular hands

TBomb: i dont like getting near “things”

TBomb: bugs

TBomb: and creepy crawlers

davepoobond: i’da done it with my pecs

TBomb: HAHA

davepoobond: but it was too high up

TBomb: muscurlar hands

TBomb: HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

davepoobond: how was your report card

TBomb: it was good

davepoobond: gpa

TBomb: haha

TBomb: 4.3

davepoobond: woweeee

TBomb: muAHHAHAH

davepoobond: i got a 3.00

TBomb: really?

davepoobond: yeah

TBomb: i’d hate to get dat

TBomb: HAHAHAHHAHA

TBomb: i win!

davepoobond: 🙁

TBomb: 🙁

davepoobond: it was the best gpa i’ve ever gotten

TBomb: sure…

davepoobond: it is

TBomb: are you proud of urself?

davepoobond: actually yes

davepoobond: its the first time i’ve ever gotten straight bs

TBomb: wow

TBomb: actually 4.3 is the highest i got

TBomb: last yr it was like 3.5

davepoobond: smart ass

davepoobond: think you’re sooo much better than the rest of us 3.00ers

TBomb: HAHA

TBomb: :-):-):-D

davepoobond: wouldn’t that be great if there were scholarships for guys named david that ran a site called squackle

TBomb: HAHA

davepoobond: and who’s house smells like a skunk now

TBomb: HAHAHAH

davepoobond: UGGHHH

TBomb: are you gonna put the site thingy in ur file thingy?

TBomb: wats dat thing called

TBomb: DAMMIT!!

TBomb: like all ur awards and crap go in “the file”

davepoobond: ………eh?

TBomb: pro-something

TBomb: or maibne not

davepoobond: profile?

TBomb: no

davepoobond: college application?

TBomb: the thing we did in junior high

davepoobond: psychiatric admittance form?

TBomb: HAHA

davepoobond: personal porfolio?

TBomb: YES

TBomb: portfolio

davepoobond: i dont have one of those…

TBomb: pro, por watever

davepoobond: the Donnas are sooooo good

TBomb: take it off?

TBomb: HAHAHAHAHHA

TBomb: i dont like dat song

davepoobond: hell yeah man

davepoobond: ah comon

davepoobond: comon and take it off

TBomb: are they new?

davepoobond: TAKE IT OFF!

davepoobond: take it off baby for meeee

davepoobond: that song is, i dont think they are

TBomb: ok

davepoobond: i’ve heard of them before i think

TBomb: :-):-)

TBomb: o

davepoobond: another good band is simple plan

davepoobond: cause they’d do anything

davepoobond: just to hold you in their arms

TBomb: ya

TBomb: i heard

davepoobond: and to fall asleep with you

TBomb: HAHAHAHA

davepoobond: dunununu!

TBomb: dunu?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: the main riff

TBomb: o

TBomb: dunununu

TBomb: i get it

davepoobond: wooooowwwwuuuuuuuuaaaaahhhhhhh

davepoobond: guess what that is

davepoobond: you may think it is the guitar solo, but its really the singer

davepoobond: cause that’s what he sounds like

davepoobond: a guitar….solo…

davepoobond: …..

TBomb: huh?

TBomb: wowuah

davepoobond: yeah

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10547: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

Leave a comment
This entry is part 8 of 8 in the series blowthetoad Wants to Be a Poop Troop

blowthetoad uses a screen name davepoobond hasn’t seen before.

–

blowthetoad: Hey can I join Squackle.?

davepoobond: stop asking, i know its you

blowthetoad: Who is me?

blowthetoad: blowthetoad? nah

blowthetoad: not me

blowthetoad: i thought you only accepted those who you knew in real life

davepoobond: i never said anything about him

blowthetoad: and Holmes…….

blowthetoad: you dont know him in real life

davepoobond: i never said anything about btt

blowthetoad: btt?

blowthetoad: when i was like 12……

blowthetoad: yeah 12…

blowthetoad: i asked why i was a poop troop

blowthetoad: you said “cuz squackle members are people we know in real life”

davepoobond: i dont need to explain myself to you

blowthetoad: =-O

blowthetoad: haha, remember when i talked to your mom?

blowthetoad: she was like “why can’t you have a civil conversation?”

blowthetoad: then thats the last i’ve ever talked to you

davepoobond: oh wow

davepoobond: is that supposed to be funny

blowthetoad: this was your old font

blowthetoad: aaaah the good days

blowthetoad: NOW SHUT UP

blowthetoad: if it was funny i would have said ‘lol’

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10546: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

Leave a comment
This entry is part 7 of 8 in the series blowthetoad Wants to Be a Poop Troop

blowthetoad: im here to try out for the poop troops

davepoobond: there are no more poop troops

davepoobond: i dont know what you’re talking about

blowthetoad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

blowthetoad: all this training….

blowthetoad: for what?

davepoobond: well, you didnt die, like you were supposed to

blowthetoad: ooh…

blowthetoad: hold ond

–

He signs onto a different screen name.

–

blowthetoad: hi, i would like to join the poop troops

davepoobond: i told you, no more poop troops

blowthetoad: you fucking nazi, dont lie to me

blowthetoad: https://www.squackle.com/IMs/blowthetoad/davepoobond3.shtml

blowthetoad: when did i do that?

blowthetoad: WAIT

blowthetoad: no

blowthetoad: thats not me

–

He signs back onto his first screen name.

–

blowthetoad: https://www.squackle.com/IMs/blowthetoad/davepoobond3.shtml

blowthetoad: okay, yeah

blowthetoad: thats me

blowthetoad: when did i do that?

davepoobond: i dont care to remember

davepoobond: but do you think i make that shit up

blowthetoad: it’s a small possibility…..

blowthetoad: hey, atleast update my age

blowthetoad: im now 14, uhthankyou

davepoobond: not to me your not

blowthetoad: well thats slimy bullshit

blowthetoad: whats the diff between jesus and a pic of jesus?

blowthetoad: a pic of jesus takes only one nail to hang

blowthetoad: *insert drum sound here*

davepoobond: boy thats funny

blowthetoad: yeah, it’s swell aint it?

blowthetoad: did your mom learn to breakdance yet?

blowthetoad: breakdancing: invented by a black person trying to steal a hubcap from a moving car

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10545: davepoobond -> Sk8Godezz

Leave a comment

davepoobond: angela

davepoobond: angela!!!

Auto response from Sk8Godezz: Am i the star beneath the stairs? Am i the ghost upon the stage? Am i your anything?

davepoobond: oooh you like AFI

Sk8Godezz: hi whos this?

davepoobond: dave

Sk8Godezz: dave who?

davepoobond: poobond

davepoobond: whos this

davepoobond: oh yeah

davepoobond: angela

davepoobond: haha

Sk8Godezz: Angela…

Sk8Godezz: yeah, where do i kno u from?

davepoobond: yeah, you saw me in the magazines

davepoobond: remember

davepoobond: seventeen weekly

Sk8Godezz: no

davepoobond: they send out seventeen different magazines a week

davepoobond: helloooo

Sk8Godezz: nope i have no clue who u r

davepoobond: well

davepoobond: i better talk to my agent

Sk8Godezz: do u go to my school or sumthing?

davepoobond: cause he said everyone under the age of 872 would know me

Sk8Godezz: ooh lol…nope

davepoobond: no, i dropped out of school 5 years ago

davepoobond: in 89

Sk8Godezz: o

davepoobond: y’know, 1989

Sk8Godezz: have i seen u before?

davepoobond: i told you

davepoobond: i’m on seventeen magazines

Sk8Godezz: i dont get those tho

davepoobond: well

davepoobond: you’re a deprived and abused child then

davepoobond: cause EVERYONE gets those

davepoobond: pshh

davepoobond: pshh

davepoobond: even my maid does, and he’s a man

Sk8Godezz: but i dont even want them

davepoobond: WHY THE HELL NOT

davepoobond: THEY SMELL SO GOOD

davepoobond: and its like soft core porn half the time

Sk8Godezz: i dont really like them

davepoobond: soft core porn?

Sk8Godezz: nope 😀

davepoobond: how about hard core

Sk8Godezz: nah

davepoobond: dammit this stupid bitch warned me to 49%!

davepoobond: urrrrghhh

Sk8Godezz: who warned u?

davepoobond: Licmytushi

Sk8Godezz: lol

davepoobond: 99 red balloons floating in the summer sky

davepoobond: panic bells its a red alert

Sk8Godezz: 🙂

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10541: davepoobond -> Licmytushi

Leave a comment

davepoobond: is this koko lala of las vegas nevada?

Licmytushi: wow should i be surprised

davepoobond: why do you ask that

Licmytushi: who is this??

davepoobond: its not like i looked at your directory and saw your name and where you lived

Licmytushi: ok,well who is this

davepoobond: dave

Licmytushi: no kidding

Licmytushi: and last name

Licmytushi: how doy ou kno me

davepoobond: i dont KNowoWW

Licmytushi: wow ok then

Licmytushi: byebye

davepoobond: hihi

Licmytushi: byebye again

davepoobond: hihi again

Licmytushi: no really who is this

Licmytushi: ??

davepoobond: dave

davepoobond: i told you

davepoobond: do you want an address

davepoobond: geez

davepoobond: what do you expect for people to say when you say “who is this”

Licmytushi: nope not really ,but why are you talkin to me

davepoobond: cause

Licmytushi: i want a last name and how you kno me when i say that

davepoobond: poobond

Licmytushi: haha funny last name

davepoobond: as per the screen name

Licmytushi: your moms really creative

davepoobond: yeah well

davepoobond: its been in the family for generations

davepoobond: what can i say

davepoobond: we have a coat of arms and everything

davepoobond: its just a big bucket overflowing with crap

Licmytushi: who would marry a guy named poobond??let meask you that

davepoobond: most of them have been females

Licmytushi: ok then

Licmytushi: wow exactly at 5 :05

davepoobond: its 2:05 for me

davepoobond: what are you talking about

Licmytushi: haha

davepoobond: eastern folk are so weird

davepoobond: its like they’re living in the future

Licmytushi: where do you live

davepoobond: hell

Licmytushi: yea sure

Licmytushi: ok whatever

Licmytushi: bye

davepoobond: hi

Licmytushi: hi and bye see ya

Licmytushi: never

davepoobond: hi again

davepoobond: forever

Licmytushi: leave me alone

davepoobond: y

Licmytushi: don’t talk to me

davepoobond: y

Licmytushi: cause your annoying

davepoobond: :'(

Licmytushi: happy

davepoobond: y

Licmytushi: cause i said so

davepoobond: y

davepoobond: y

Licmytushi: not talking to you as of now

davepoobond: y

Licmytushi: y should i tell you y

davepoobond: cuz i said y

Licmytushi: i said y for your y

davepoobond: y\

Licmytushi: y yyyyyy

davepoobond: but YYYYYYY

Licmytushi: y to your y to your yyy’s

davepoobond: did you blow the moon?

Licmytushi: so soon

davepoobond: BABY YOU’RE ALL THAT I WANT

davepoobond: WHEN YOU’RE LYIN HERE IN MY ARMS

davepoobond: I’M FINDING IT HARD TO BELIEVE

davepoobond: WE’RE IN HEAVENNNNN

Licmytushi: stop breakin out into song

davepoobond: AND LOVE IS ALL THAT I NEED AND I FOUND IT THERE IN YOUR HEART

Licmytushi: it wasn’t meant to be

davepoobond: IT ISN’T TOO HARD TO SEE

davepoobond: WE’RE IN HEAVENNNNNNN

davepoobond: we’re in heaven

Licmytushi: shutup

davepoobond: doo bee doo be doo ba doo bee da doo

–

I get warned to 39%.

I warn her to 35%.

–

davepoobond: that wasn’t worth it was it

Licmytushi: huh

–

I get warned to 49%.

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#10540: LilBabyJess -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

LilBabyJess: yea

davepoobond: yeah what

LilBabyJess: this is joe mama

davepoobond: that’s coollll

LilBabyJess: whos this

davepoobond: joseph mama

LilBabyJess: yea u wish

davepoobond: ok fine, its really dave

LilBabyJess: dave who

davepoobond: poobond

LilBabyJess: yea ok

davepoobond: so whats happenin joeyyy

LilBabyJess: no thing

LilBabyJess: do u have a pic

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: do you

LilBabyJess: no

davepoobond: so, how’s the kids?

LilBabyJess: wat kids?

davepoobond: that’s sad

LilBabyJess: wat

davepoobond: you have kids, and you dont even acknowledge their existence

davepoobond: anyway

davepoobond: why are you warned to 16%

LilBabyJess: I dont kno cuz some fagget

davepoobond: whats his sn

davepoobond: i’ll get him back for you

LilBabyJess: I dont kno his sn

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10537: NewJerzGurl -> davepoobond

Leave a comment
This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series The NewJerzGurl Debacle

A long while later after #10536, NewJerzGurl IMs me again on a different screen name. I forgot all about what happened beforehand.

–

NewJerzGurl: someone loves you or likes you they will try to do anything for you and help you in anyway if you send this to 11 people something good will happen to you at 9:43 tonight

davepoobond: what if i dont

davepoobond: and who are you

davepoobond: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NewJerzGurl: is this dave?

davepoobond: yeah…

NewJerzGurl: ok

NewJerzGurl: 6this is courtney

NewJerzGurl: why dont you talk to me anymore?

davepoobond: ………………………

davepoobond: courtney?

NewJerzGurl: yea

davepoobond: i dont know any courtneys…

NewJerzGurl: wateva then

NewJerzGurl: bye

davepoobond: where do i know you from

NewJerzGurl: NEWJERZGURL

davepoobond: ehhhhh nope doesnt ring a bell

NewJerzGurl: is this yingyangman?

davepoobond: no

NewJerzGurl: who is it?

davepoobond: dave…

davepoobond: poobond…

davepoobond: i live in california..

NewJerzGurl: oh

NewJerzGurl: do you know who yingyangman is?

davepoobond: no

NewJerzGurl: oh

davepoobond: or i might not remember him

NewJerzGurl: how did you get my other screen name? newjerzgurl

davepoobond: oh wait…

davepoobond: i do know him now

davepoobond: i remember

davepoobond: har har har

NewJerzGurl: OK…

NewJerzGurl: IS HE ON?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: he blocked me

NewJerzGurl: oh

NewJerzGurl: y?

davepoobond: cause he’s a stupid bastard

NewJerzGurl: lol

NewJerzGurl: ok

NewJerzGurl: someone loves you or likes you they will try to do anything for you and help you in anyway if you send this to 11 people something good will happen to you at 9:43 tonight

NewJerzGurl signed off at 6:39:31 PM.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10536: davepoobond -> NewJerzGurl / davepoobond -> yingyangman

Leave a comment
This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series The NewJerzGurl Debacle

These two IMs went on at the same time pretty much, and interacted with each other, so I put it as much as I can that occurred at the same time…just use your imagination.

–

davepoobond: Baby C!!!

NewJerzGurl: ??

davepoobond: hi

NewJerzGurl: dave??

davepoobond: yeah!

NewJerzGurl: iight

NewJerzGurl: dass u???

NewJerzGurl: yingyangman?

davepoobond: course its me

NewJerzGurl: HEY!!!!!!!

davepoobond: HI!!!!

NewJerzGurl: where you been?!

NewJerzGurl: my birthday was 2 weeks ago!

davepoobond: sorry i missed it

NewJerzGurl: itds ok

davepoobond: i had family stuff this last 2 weeks

davepoobond: a few deaths in the family

NewJerzGurl: yea?

NewJerzGurl: are you ok?

davepoobond: y’know, saddening stuff

davepoobond: yeah i’ll be fine

davepoobond: so how’s your family? still alive i assume

NewJerzGurl: yea

NewJerzGurl: they are pretty good i guess

davepoobond: trust me, they’ll die soon enough, just like all my family members

Auto response from NewJerzGurl: dancing brb

davepoobond: granny…great granny

davepoobond: grandpa

–

Meanwhile…

–

davepoobond: hey dave

yingyangman: hey

davepoobond: how’s it going man

yingyangman: its going alright..u?

davepoobond: same same

yingyangman: thats good

davepoobond: i hear you had a lotta deaths in the family the last 2 weeks

davepoobond: and you didn’t go to some girl’s birthday 2 weeks ago

davepoobond: what’s happening with you man

yingyangman: no one in my family has died

davepoobond: yeah just keep denying that

davepoobond: what about that girl’s birthday party

davepoobond: everyone but you was there

–

Back to her…

–

NewJerzGurl: hey

NewJerzGurl: dont jynx ma!

NewJerzGurl: me*

davepoobond: what are you talking about

NewJerzGurl: talkin bout they are gonna die soong

NewJerzGurl: soon*

NewJerzGurl: thats not nice

davepoobond: i’m sorry

davepoobond: but they are

NewJerzGurl: pok

NewJerzGurl: ok*

–

Meanwhile…

–

yingyangman: what girl?

davepoobond: NewJerzGurl

davepoobond: that girl

yingyangman: i wasnt even invited

davepoobond: WELL

davepoobond: NewJerzGurl: my birthday was 2 weeks ago! that bastard didn’t come!

davepoobond: seems like you were

yingyangman: i can guarantee i wasnt invited..and just when did she invite me

davepoobond: i dont know, why don’t you talk to her and copy and paste what she says to me?

davepoobond: i’ll tell you whats a lie and whats not

davepoobond: are you talkin to her

yingyangman: yes

davepoobond: whats she sayin

yingyangman signed off at 1:48:10 PM.

–

Back to her…

–

NewJerzGurl: are you two playing games with me?

davepoobond: what are you talkin about

NewJerzGurl: nothing

davepoobond: hmm

davepoobond: well

NewJerzGurl: is this dave? or not?

davepoobond: it is

NewJerzGurl: ok then… why you playing on the other screen name?

davepoobond: i’m not doing anything

NewJerzGurl: watever

NewJerzGurl: nothing…

NewJerzGurl: aint this dace?

NewJerzGurl: dave*

davepoobond: it is

NewJerzGurl: he was like who is davepoobond? and all this junk… thats you right?

davepoobond: why do you keep asking

davepoobond: yeah

NewJerzGurl: you’re one both names?

davepoobond: what are you talkin about? i dont have 2 names

NewJerzGurl: yingyangman

davepoobond: eh?

davepoobond: oh yeah that’s me

NewJerzGurl: you;re slow

NewJerzGurl: bye

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: wait

davepoobond: what

davepoobond: nooooo

davepoobond: :'(