Dream #23034: The Moon Blew Up

I wrote this in 2002.

I had a dream that I was out in the desert or something. The sand was red and there weren’t any trees, but big rocks every so often. There were a lot of people there, and there were a lot of houses. I wasn’t too far from my house. I looked up at the moon (which was very close). It was really hot, and the moon turned around pretty fast, and it looked the same except it had its own “red eye storm” like Jupiter. It’s kind of hard to describe. Anyway I pointed it out to my mom, and she said “that’s normal, they throw all our trash up there, you know?”

I thought “hmm, all that plastic up there is burning making it hot down here…” It seemed like it was raining fire from the moon. All of a sudden, it blew up. Everyone started screaming and went back inside their homes. After the moon rocks fell, I went over to my friends house, and there was my Grandma. She said his family wasn’t there because my friend was at the hospital. She pointed out the window shutters on the window, and said something about how cheap they were because a rock fell through. Then she disappeared.

Then it rained rocks again.  Afterwards, I was crying and I turned on the TV. To get my mind off everything, I turned on the TV and watched cartoons, while there was another TV with the news on. It had a bunch of people talking about the moon blowing up, and how it was more horrible than September 11. The rocks fell again all of a sudden for the last time. I went outside to see what happened, and there were a lot of people on hospital beds, screaming because trash and rock shot into their body.

I woke up then. What a weird dream. I could barely describe it all. You should’ve dreamed it yourself…to truly understand.

 

Joke #18438

A Bedouin wandering in the Sahara happened upon an American dressed in a bathing suit, flip-flops, a big, over-sized t-shirt and sunglasses.

The Bedouin gazed at him in amazement, “What are you doing all the way out here dressed like that!?”

“I’m going swimming,” the tourist explained.

“But the ocean is eight hundred miles away,” the Arab informed him.

“Eight hundred miles!” the American exclaimed with a whistle of appreciation. “Boy, what a beach!”

 

Joke #5272

There are three girls going on a long car trip in the desert.

One has brown hair, one is a redhead, and other is a blonde. All of a sudden the car stops.

“Darn, it won’t start!” exclaims the brown haired girl.

“Okay, we’ll just have to walk across the desert to get help,” says the redhead, “So, bring anything that is necessary for survival.”

The brunette brings some water in a big bottle. The redhead bring a hand held fan, and the blonde goes over to the car and rips off the car door.

As they are walking the girls dcide to stop to take a break.

The brunette drinks some water, and the redhead turns on the little fan. The blonde rolls down the car window and says, “Ahh, now that’s better!”

 

Joke #5223: In Your Dreams

A young single guy finds himself stranded on a deserted island. As he washes ashore, he sees a women passed out in the sand. Able to perform CPR on her, he saves her life. Suddenly, he realizes that the woman is Cindy Crawford. Immediately, Cindy falls in love with the man. Days and weeks go by, and they’re making passionate love morning, noon and night. True Heaven on earth in the man’s eyes. Alas, one day she notices he’s looking kind of glum.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” she asks. “We have a wonderful life together and I’m in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?”

He says, “Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt and pants?” “Sure,” she says, “if it’ll help.” He takes off his shirt and pants and she puts it on. “Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?” he asks. “Whatever you want, sweetie,” she says, and does so.

Then he says, “Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?” She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later.

He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, “Dude! You’ll never believe who I’m sleeping with!”