Tag Archives: shirt

Quote #22574: The Crazy Shirt Story

This entry is part 24 of 26 in the series The Retail Report

A girl came over to my register with two articles of clothing to purchase.  Before you ask, no she was not hot.  I was wearing a shirt, if that isn’t implied by this story already.

Girl: “Cool shirt!”

davepoobond: “Oh, thank you.”

::5 second pause::

Girl: “So, what’s the story behind the shirt?”

davepoobond: “Umm….”

::I took a couple seconds to think how I should respond to this ridiculously dumb question::

davepoboond: “I had a 10 dollar gift card to Kohl’s, I went there and I bought this shirt.”

– at davepoobond’s job

That Was a Weird Dog Walk

Went outside to walk my dog and these things happened:

2 people were pulled over in their car in a “no stopping at any time” zone. One was on his phone away from the open passenger car door. The other, which I assume was a girl, was making puking/spitting sounds inside the car, even though the car door was open and she was actually standing outside. and the guy was just on his phone talking about something I didn’t understand.

I cut across the street so I don’t have to walk past them. then I see some random fat lady sitting on the concrete box thing full of phone/cable equipment or whatever it is in there just sitting there doing nothing, staring at a wall.

Then I avoid her and walk back towards where I came from, and some old guy comes out of the gate and just stands there and just stares at stuff around, he’s not even doing anything.

So I walk farther down the sidewalk away from him, and some shirtless younger looking guy is walking in my direction putting a shirt on. He says something like “good morning” to me and then goes over to where the old guy is and stands around him. No idea what they’re saying cause im far away from them at that point.

So I’m kinda looking in the general direction to see if they’re doing a drug deal, then I see the fat lady getting up and walking down the middle of the street going towards something I didn’t care to find out because I was freaked out and ran back into my house.

And this all happened before 12 am, thursday night… wtf was that all about?

Joke #18468

While I was working in the men’s section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.

When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.

“I don’t know his size,” she said, “but my hands fit perfectly around his neck.”

Joke #18416

I was a salesman and always wore a shirt and tie which made me stand out in Key West. Tourists would walk up to me and ask me what to do at night. I would tell them that people gather at “Mallory Square” to watch the sunset. There are street performers and very interesting sights but most go there just to watch the sunset.

They would reply, “How often is that?”

Future Family

Future family: (the character is a boy)
I had a best friend. I liked her. Soon, we were partners. Being her bf, I sometimes think that I want to marry her. Then one day, I asked her mom and dad if I could, then they said “No. We’ll test you first… Someday..” I saw how my gf’s sister looked. She was so sexy and pretty, she looked so gorgeous at her short skirt and cute shirt, soon I had a crush on her. This time came that we were the only two people in the house. She told me, “Oh I can’t stand this feeling anymore. I love you Arkin! So much! Your wedding’s coming soon, and if you want one last wild thing, just go upstairs and get me.” As she went up the stairs, she gave her sexy panty to me, and showed me her pussy. Gosh ! I can’t believe it! Then I removed my pants and brief, I let him see my penis, but the door was locked so I guess no one saw me. I went up to the room. We had sexy sex. She let me saw her boobs, her pussy, and everything, after a little while, my gf’s family saw me, I said ” I’m sorry. I love your daughter. May I bring her home?”

Hahahahahahaha!! PLEASE COMMENT AND LIKE!!


Sewing Your Wound

Johnny was working at his mother’s sewing machine, putting together an outfit for the school party.  He was working diligently, carefully sewing together the sleeves and the cuffs.  When he saw his favorite video come on TV, he decided to take a shortcut to save time, but ended up sewing over his finger, a wound that required nine stitches.

Moral of the story? A stitch in time saves nine.