guelmo – v. to eat cereal in the morning, but become so hungry again that since you have absolutely nothing else to eat, you eat cereal again

Tags: cereal, food, guelmo, verb

areqge – v. to drink coffee with your bowl of cereal at 6 P.M.

Tags: areqge, cereal, coffee, verb

tucuv – v. to smash someone in the head with a bowl of cereal

Tags: assault, cereal, head, tucuv, verb

oavazadowe – n. cereal that has French Vanilla creamer instead of milk

Tags: cereal, cream, milk, noun, oavazadowe

guisapano – v. to pee in your cereal full of milk and then eat it

Tags: cereal, food, guisapano, milk, pee, verb

Tags: cereal, frog

Enriched foods are everywhere.

Rarely ever do you see non-enriched foods anymore.  I remember a time when Orange Juice didn’t have calcium or when milk was just Vitamin D (naturally) instead of Vitamin A and D.  I remember when cereal didn’t have 800 nutritious vitamins and minerals, which make even the worst cereals that you could possibly eat into the equivalent of supplemental pills.

However, this what they tell us is in the foods we eat.  How do WE know for certain those things are in there?  Sure, there’s laws, but it doesn’t mean food manufactures ACTUALLY put them in, does it?  Who bothers testing each and every random box for those random vitamins and minerals?

And what good does all that crap do for us anyway?  It’s all just a ploy — an excuse for them to charge us more, and to accept rolling backpacks as “okay to use.”  Damn them.

Tags: A DPB Tag, backpack, cereal, mineral, money, orange juice, vitamin

You know you’re a mom when…

- Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor — and you don’t care.

- When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone’s bleeding.

- You can’t find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

- Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.

- Popsicle’s become a food staple.

- Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

- You’re willing to kiss your child’s boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.

- You’re so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!

- You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

- You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.

- You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

- You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

- Your kid throws up and you catch it.

- You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet… you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

Tags: bathroom, blood, cereal, children, cupcake, floor, grape, hair, jelly, kitchen, laundry, marshmallow, mom, popsicle, telemarketer, telephone, television

The following is a menu offered at the Unfriendly Restaurhant and Coffin Shop Moan-U.

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A die-ning delight that will lift your spirits!

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SAND-WITCHES

Boo-loney

Boo-gels and Scream Cheese

Hallow-weenies

Liver-worst

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BOO-VERAGES

Milk Shaaaakes

Ice Scream Floats

Orange Crrrush

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HEX-TRAS

Clammy on the Half Shell

Chilllled Tomb-ato Juice

Deviled Eggs

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SOUPS AND SALADS

L-eeek! Soup

Cream of Asparaghost

Arti-Choke Hearts

Lettuce Alone Salad

Marinated Brussel Shouts

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SIGHED DISHES

Baked Beings

Cre-mated Spinach

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DESS-HURTS

Creep Suzettes

Banana Scream Pie

Sheet Cake

Key Slime Pie

Hot Sludge Shun-dae

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TODAY’S SPE-CHILLS

Spook-ghetti

Souther Fright Chicken

Ghoul-lash

Turkey with Grave-y

Pasta-way

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Breakfast Served from Midnight to 3 A.M. Daily

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CEREALS

Ghost Toasties with Evaporated Milk

Shrouded Wheat

Scream of Wheat

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EGGS

Terri-fried Eggs — Over Easy

Scream-bled Eggs

Three-moan-it Soft-booled Eggs

Stormy-side-up Eggs

Eggs Boonidict

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Cust-tomb-ers: We accept Die-ners Club, Monster Card, and American Hex-press Credit Cards

Tags: artichoke, asparagus, bagel, banana, beans, bologna, cake, cereal, cheese, chicken, clam, customer, dessert, devil, dish, egg, food, fudge, grave, gravy, Halloween, heart, hot dog, ice cream, juice, lettuce, lime, liver, milkshake, orange, pasta, pie, salad, sandwich, soup, spaghetti, spinach, tomato, turkey, wheat

Tagged People: American Express, MasterCard

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Tags: calcium, cereal, hamburger, internet, milk, yogurt

Tagged People: General Mills

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Tags: breakfast, cereal, Cocoa Pebbles, Count Chocula, drugs, Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms

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Tags: Atlantic Ocean, book, cereal, Cocoa Puffs, coin, corn, gold, pilgrim, Winnie the Pooh

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Tags: beef, cereal, corn, cow, plant, sunflower

“Taimi routinely eats Froot Loops and Tang”

- from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school

Tags: cereal, food, Froot Loops, high school, Tang

Tagged People: davepoobond

“Hello honey.  Can you pick up a box of cereal and 2 liter bottle of pepsi on the way home?  Thanks..”

- from the Internet

Tags: bottle, cereal, internet, Pepsi, soda