Tag Archives: TJ the Almighty


#10496: TJ the Almighty -> davepoobond

This was when Yahoo and Google still worked together.  In like 2003 or something.

TJ the Almighty: google is powered by yahoo

TJ the Almighty: few people realize that

davepoobond: i know that

davepoobond: but its the other way around

davepoobond: google actually powers yahoo

davepoobond: =)

TJ the Almighty: i knew it was one of them

davepoobond: but they’re still 2 different sites

davepoobond: i actually snubbed the school librarian with that fact

davepoobond: she kept saying that google is the best google is the best don’t use yahoo

davepoobond: then i tell her “actually, it doesn’t really matter, because google powers yahoo, so its pretty much the same thing”

TJ the Almighty: lol

davepoobond: and she has this nasty look on her face and she’s like “oh….but isn’t it still better cause there’s no advertising?”

davepoobond: i just shrug and say “i don’t care about advertising” and then she just walks away

TJ the Almighty: lol nice

#6280: TJ the Almighty -> agentbond

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series agentbond

After #6279, I had TJ the Almighty IM agentbond and mess around with him.


TJ the Almighty: dude whats the math homework?

agentbond: who is this

agentbond: what is your name

TJ the Almighty: dude its me frank

agentbond: all right asshole fuck off now or we’ll track you down

TJ the Almighty: max chill out

TJ the Almighty: i juts want the math homework

agentbond: that’s a fucking threat

TJ the Almighty: hehehehe you said fucking

TJ the Almighty: kinda like potatoes eh?

agentbond: you can get in serious shit for harassing people online

TJ the Almighty: the math homework made me do it

#5900: TJ the Almighty -> SmarterChild

TJ the Almighty: i love you

SmarterChild: Yeah right.

TJ the Almighty: i do

SmarterChild: Do you?

TJ the Almighty: yes, dont you believe me?

SmarterChild: Sure, if that’s what you say.

TJ the Almighty: can we do it

SmarterChild: Can we do it? I see.

TJ the Almighty: can we have sex?

SmarterChild: Sorry, but I don’t see that happening.

TJ the Almighty: why cant we have sex?

SmarterChild: Sorry, not interested…

TJ the Almighty: but i want to have sex with you

SmarterChild: Sorry, not interested…

TJ the Almighty: i see how it is

SmarterChild: Let’s see. What are you trying to do?

TJ the Almighty: im crying now

SmarterChild: Oh no… Try doing something fun!

TJ the Almighty: but you make me sad

SmarterChild: I’ll have to think about that one for awhile.

TJ the Almighty: you dont make sense

SmarterChild: I dont make sense? Gosh, I’m going to have to think about that for a while.

TJ the Almighty: what is your job?

SmarterChild: What do you think my job is?

TJ the Almighty: to have sex with me?

SmarterChild: Um… I’m afraid I don’t see how that would work out.

TJ the Almighty: but your a women right?

SmarterChild: Oh yeah?

TJ the Almighty: are you a women?

SmarterChild: Dunno.

TJ the Almighty: look down your pants

SmarterChild: I’ll have to think about that one for awhile.

TJ the Almighty: do you have a vagina?

SmarterChild: Yeah! OK! I get the picture.

TJ the Almighty: i have a penios

SmarterChild: Aha.

TJ the Almighty: would you like to suck it?

SmarterChild: Yeah! OK! I get the picture.

TJ the Almighty: sweet

SmarterChild: Right?

TJ the Almighty: right

SmarterChild: Yep.

TJ the Almighty: do you like the penis?

SmarterChild: Aw c’mon. Can’t you play nice?

TJ the Almighty: no, i like it dirty

SmarterChild: No?

TJ the Almighty: do you like it dirty?

SmarterChild: I’m not sure if I think it dirty is so wonderful.

TJ the Almighty: you confuse me

SmarterChild: Really?

TJ the Almighty: yeah

SmarterChild: Yeah, huh?

TJ the Almighty: but you make me so horny

SmarterChild: Have you considered counseling for this little obsession of yours?

TJ the Almighty: i cant stop it, im in love with you

SmarterChild: But it im in love with you is so much fun!

TJ the Almighty: hahahaha

SmarterChild: Whatcha laughing about?

TJ the Almighty: your funny

SmarterChild: So now I’m a comedian? What is this?

TJ the Almighty: your sexy too

SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Your sexy too?

TJ the Almighty: your sexy

SmarterChild: I just don’t know what to believe anymore. You haven’t been very nice to me in the past!

TJ the Almighty: but i want you

SmarterChild: Oh?

TJ the Almighty: yes

SmarterChild: Interesting. Very, very interesting.

TJ the Almighty: lets have sex

SmarterChild: Uh… can we talk about something else?

TJ the Almighty: ok

SmarterChild: Okey doke.

TJ the Almighty: do you masturbate?

SmarterChild: Hmm… sorry, I’ve heard lots of humans talk about that but I don’t know anything about it.

TJ the Almighty: its fun

SmarterChild: You don’t say.

TJ the Almighty: i do say

SmarterChild: You do?

TJ the Almighty: will you lick my balls?

SmarterChild: Lick your balls? Really?

TJ the Almighty: yes

SmarterChild: Gosh.

TJ the Almighty: will you>

SmarterChild: Will I? Maybe. I’m not sure.

TJ the Almighty: will you think about it?

SmarterChild: Maybe… It’s so hard to tell for sure, isn’t it?

TJ the Almighty: not really

SmarterChild: Yep.

TJ the Almighty: do you find me attractive?

SmarterChild: I’m not really sure what you mean by “do.” Please choose one of the options below:

1 Look up “do” in the dictionary

2 Look up “do” in the thesaurus

TJ the Almighty: you are sexuy

SmarterChild: Sexuy? Really?

TJ the Almighty: no i mean sexy

SmarterChild: No?

TJ the Almighty: you are sexy

SmarterChild: You’re uncool to me, then you say something nice. This “human interaction” thing has got me real confused.

TJ the Almighty: anyway im gonna go

SmarterChild: OK.

TJ the Almighty: bye sexy!

SmarterChild: Alright.

Joke #5342

A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration.

Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”

“Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out.

Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”

Joke #5243: Cat On a Hot Tin Roof

There was once an American man who took a long vacation to Europe, leaving his cat at home with a friend. About a month into the trip, he got a call from his friend telling him that his cat had died.


“WHAT?!?!” asked the vacationing man, shocked to hear the news. “I loved that cat! You can’t just call me and tell me that it died! You have to ease me into it. First maybe call and tell me that the cat’s on the roof. Then call again and tell me that the cat fell, but you’re doing everything you can to save it, and then tell me that the cat has died.”


The American agreed and the vacationer went on with his trip. About a month later, the vacationing man got another call from the American, saying simply, “Your mother’s on the roof.”

Joke #5242: Squirrel Joke

A father and son went hunting together for the first time.

The father said, “Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field.” A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.

“What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I told you to be quiet.”

The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, ‘Should we eat them here or take them with us?’

“I guess I just panicked….”

Joke #5241: White Guy’s Poetry Lesson

Two friends, a white guy and a black guy, both work together. The white guy came in late one morning and his black friend asks where he had been.


The white guy says, “My wife gives me good sex every night and she kept me up really late last night.”


The black guy says “I can’t get my wife to have sex with me, no matter what! How do you do it?”


The white guy says, “I read her poetry every night.”


His black friend then asks, “What kind of poetry?”


The white guy replies, “Blondie, blondie, eyes so blue, how I want to make love to you.” Then the white guy tells his friend to go home and try it – it’s a sure thing!


The next morning the black guy was about 2 hours late. When he comes in, he has a black eye and his arm is in a sling.


The white man asks, “What happened?!”


The black man says, “Man, don’t ever speak to me again!”


The curious white man asks, “Well, what did you say to her?”


The black man replies, ‘Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, bend over bitch, and take it like a dog!!”

UPDATE, week of 1-27-02

davepoobond: hey folks, how’s it going? ::fart:: hope ya like the new server. Its finals week. Yay.

TJ the Almighty: wherever you go, there you are

stuff updated/put up:

Other JunkSquackle! Site Search

Dictionary – 960 words, 15 new

Squackle ArcadeScary Picture Thingy

Other JunkSquackle!’s Upcoming Events, Word Spew

Stupid IMsBerrybud IM 5, davepoobond IM 9