Tag Archives: A DPB Tag

USA: Why Teachers Are Paid So Little

It pisses me off when teachers complain about how they’re not paid that much. When you look at it in the total picture, they only REALLY work for 6 hours a day. 6 fucking hours! That’s almost nothing compared to what others do, which is 8-10 hours. They’re not running their own business, they chose their career to get low-paid positions as teachers at public schools, and they’re complaining about how much money they get. I don’t care about their money woes. They really don’t even work for 6 hours! There’s lunch breaks and passing periods that add up to about an hour in them just sitting around except when they say a student can come in during lunch. Suspiciously they don’t allow a student to come into class during lunch EVERY day…

 

If you work less, you get paid less. Its common sense. They get about 2 months of vacation a year, a dream to many other people, while those dreaming people still have to wok during that time. Teachers (that chose to) work for about 3-4 hours that other month of summer vacation, and then get the rest of the day off. That’s why they don’t get that much money. They would need probably $50 an hour to get the same annual income as someone who goes to work EVERYDAY except holidays and weekends working 8+ hours. And that’s another thing, the teachers get 2 weeks off for Christmas, 2 weeks off for Thanksgiving, a spring break, not to mention the summer vacation as well, and the other holidays which add up to about another week’s worth. It seems like there’s only a few months for them to actually work. And all these “teacher grading days” or “buy back days” or “days off to grade tests” or “days off to put grades for report cards in the books” and all that crap, its bull shit, I tell you. Big stinky bull shit!

 

Most teachers probably became teachers because they felt that they could never leave school and explore different fields of LIFE!

 

Quit complaining, you fucks. In the end, its all for the kids that will make more money working at McDonalds than you working at school. Isn’t it? No, not even then, cause there’s all these accounts of teachers raping, molesting, and kidnapping kids cause they can’t get any sex or kids or something otherwise. There’s 40 year old teachers with no spouses, probably because of the fact they’re teachers, and bastards/bitches as well. The teacher is a dirty job, worse than drug dealers. But that’s a different theory.

 

Now if a teacher is reading this and they say “hey we work for more than 6 hours a day,” well this is what I say to you: you don’t have to. You’re only paid to stay at your job until a certain time, and what you chose to do afterwards is your own decision. You can sit and grade papers for 500 hours for all I care, but you do it at your leisure. No one gets 3 months to make a presentation for work or something like that, while they sit at home and do it at the times they want to. But for the teachers, no one is forcing them to give back any tests or essays or homework. They could just say that everyone did it and never pass those things back, and make up some excuse like “I lost them.” That’s not fair to the students who put hard work into it, sacrificing their time at which they could be living life as a teenager, which they don’t have too many years of, to do some bullshit assignment or study for some bullshit test that never gets passed back.

USA: The Power In Schools

This goes from the most power to the least.

1. School Board of Directors (the dirty sons of bitches that are pocketing the money that should go to the schools. Whoops, we misplaced a lot of money. No Summer School for So and So school this year. And y’know that junior college you’re going to? Don’t bother going back, its not there anymore)

2. Principal

3. Vice/Associate Principal

4. Disciplinary Officer

5. Counselors

6. Teachers

7. Parents

8. Kids

9. PTA

10. NFL Players

11. Gay-Straight Alliance

12. Spanish Club

13. Everything else, including the president

USA: The Columbia – NASA’s ticket to Re-recognization

Let’s face it, no one gives a damn about NASA anymore – until now. After the space race, and the controversial “moon landing”

no one gave a damn anymore about NASA, because nothing important was happening. Slowly less and less of us cared about what the whole space program was doing, so why not have a little tragedy to remind people about NASA?

I would bet that this goes only to the high commanders of NASA. They don’t tell anyone and also pay off anyone that knows about a little “sabotage” that would make the Columbia blow up upon re-entry. It was probably lucky for them that a piece of foam fell off whatever it fell off of and hit the space shuttle. I find it kind of hard to believe that a piece of foam would do that, unless it weighed at least 500 pounds, and just happened to hit a weak panel on there that was cracked already. What would a measly 7 lives matter to the billions and billions of dollars and regaining the public’s appreciation after a 20 year hiatus? Absolutely nothing.

There was a great plus to having shuttle and human remains scatter over 2 states. Millions of people will feel for them and NASA then, too. What a great country this is. Blah page filler.

USA: Bush Spends 87 Billion Dollars, Saying Its Necessary

This entry is part 1 of 4 in the series This Is Satire

This is supposed to be like a parody kind of thing, of an actual news story, so its supposed to be taken as if this actually happened, but it didn’t.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On September 10, 2003, Bush held a press conference saying how important it is to spend 87 billion dollars, increasing the deficit from 475 billion to 525 billion (I don’t see how that adds up to 87 billion).

Suspiciously, Bush showed up to the press conference with new, assorted jewelry, and about 50 tons of silver trailing behind him. When asked how we are going to pay for the recent increase in the ever-growing deficit, Bush replied with saying that paying back the money is an “absurd notion.” Bush also said that “spending money that we don’t have is fun,” implying that Bush will do nothing to actually decrease the deficit spending.

After the press conference, public opinion was against the new 87 billion dollars needed, as polled by MSNBC. The poll results indicated that 24% were for, 25% were against and 51% were undecided.

“Its just crazy, I tell you! That stupid fucking Bush. The only thing he’s good for is taking a piss behind. But even then you have to watch out for the lizards that’ll jump out and bite penises off!” screamed a local grocery store bag boy. He continued to scream obscenties, that would not be ethical to write down on paper for children’s virgin eyes to see.

“I think that it’ll help out in the fight against terrorism,” said Joan, a soccer mom. “It always creeps me out when I see one of those guys with the long beards or the turbans or one of those things that makes them scream ‘I’m Middle Eastern’ to everyone without having to actually hear them say it. They’re just askin’ for it. Allah Ackbar to you, Mr. Middle Eastern! Let’s see how you like it when I drive my fucking minivan into your fucking house in the middle of the night, and unleash the terror that is a soccer team in a minivan after a 2 hour game without any Capri-Suns!”

“My mom will kick your ass! She wears the pants in the family!” screamed an annoying little 5 year old as I walked away. I flicked him off, and unfortunately his mom saw, and she took a crowbar to my head that she pulled out of her ass. That woman has a huge ass. I am lucky to be alive today, writing this article.

“Bush is going to keep asking for more and more money. You know what he’s REALLY spending it on? Tank tracks. That’s what it is. Its so obviously tank tracks, because they’re like 3 million dollars a piece, y’know? And because they’re in the soft sandy desert, the tank tracks get really worn out. I’ll tell you what he’s NOT spending it on though. Himself. Who cares if he has 87 billion dollars of new assorted jewelry he got a couple of days after he asked for more money? Its the tank tracks that do it,” said a local everyday, in-the-norm jeweler.

“Y’know what I’d do with that money? Buy France. Stupid France is always fucking us in the face. IN THE FACE. I mean France is really worth like 5 dollars? I mean, after the Napoleonic era, there wasn’t much to look forward to when it came to France. They’re fucking chocolate makers for crying out loud! Well…that’s what the white house said in one of their press conferences. It tickled my belly,” said a drunken farmer named Ted. “Scooby Doo is a good movie, no matter what you fucks say!” screamed Ted as he was hit by a semi truck.

This reporter once thought that we were getting only one Bush, but it ends up that we’re actually getting one in the bush and 2 in the tush, when it comes to the money question.Squackle was down from May 30th to September 18th.

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Original article about public opinion

http://www.msnbc.com/news/966489.asp (Not functioning anymore)

Original article about Bush talking about spending money.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/09/10/sprj.irq.bush.request/index.html

USA: School Shootings and Whatever

Great. Another thing to worry about. Now we can’t even go to a place that we don’t want to without the risk of being killed. This is a stupid thing, that is just one more obstacle until you get out of school. not only do we have to get a passing GPA, pass a high school exit exam that had an essay that forces you to write about hummingbirds, not drop out, and get a good citizenship grade, we have to worry about how not to get killed, or if you will see a guy running down the halls of your school firing off shotguns and shit like that, and know how to get the fuck away without dying in the process. All your hard work wouldn’t mean a shit to anything if you die, and that time you spent on all the school and homework was wasted, when you could have been at home, for instance, doing something constructive, like watching TV, or writing stuff for Squackle!. Pretty stupid, huh?

Reflection on the 1st Quarter of Regional Studies

Regional Studies is a class that is one semester long. This class was with Mrs. DYKE.

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The 1st quarter of Regional Studies was a somewhat educational experience though in my opinion, it will not help me in the future because I will probably not ever leave the U.S.

There were something that were fun, like the oil simulation, metaphor thingys and other projects. But they basically sucked, and i dont give a damn about them, cuz they had nothing to do about the real world AT ALL!

So far this is a somewhat STUPID class and i already knew 99% of the things that were mentioned in class, and its really stupid to be learning from resources that are from the early 80s, which still have the Russia as the USSR. STUPID!

USA: The School System

I remember hearing my mom yelling at me, “School is not a democracy, you dont vote whether or not you want to do something, when the teacher tells you to do it, you do it, whether you like it or not.” That’s right mom, its not a democracy. Its a tyranny, all ran by someone deemed head of this small tyranny of a government inside of a half democracy half republican government, cleverly named “Principal,” and his Underlings called “Associate Principals” and “Assisstant Principals.” I myself had not had too good of an experience with “Assisstant Principals.” I was banned from eating in the school’s cafeteria for five consecutive life sentences. Of course, you see, that these guys have power, and know how to abuse it. If I go in there one more time and stay there, I’d get a referral for disobedience. What am I? A pet? Pets get punished for disobedience. I don’t see why a student in a school should be getting a referral for disobedience.

 

That’s why schools in America are screwed up.

USA: The National Debt

The national debt sucks. The White House is full of people that would rather spend billions and billions of dollars on military and never give a penny to pay off the damn debt our nation has. What are they preparing for? Another world war? It must be like 20 trillion dollars now! What are they going for? A record on how much one nation owes the world? They should pay off that damn bill and we’ll all be happy. If they’re trying to pay off the debt, its not good enough, cuz the interest keeps piling up on the damn debt, DAMMIT!

 

You may say i dont know anything about the National Debt, but i dont care.

Justice Files

I was watching the Rosie O’ Donnel show a while ago before it was canceled, for some God forsaken reason that I don’t know.

So she’s talking about some shit, and there’s this voice every once in a while that agrees with her, and it doesn’t look at that guy, just at Rosie, and pretty soon its getting really redundant, then all of a sudden she says “my 3 year old son and I were watching Justice Files, on that cartoon station….Cartoon Network, that’s right, and there was this show called Justice Files, y’know with Superman, Batman, and they go around and fight aliens and stuff. Well, my son turns around and says ‘mom, I like this show.’ And I say ‘yes, son, I like this show too.'” All through her endless babble of not knowing what she was talking about, the guy kept saying “unh hunh” and then Rosie says “Then I got to wondering, WHAT ABOUT ROBIN?” and she leans forward on her desk, toward the guy, and the camera finally switches to this guy sitting at a black piano, with a huge microphone in his face, and it covered half of it, at least, and he’s right up next to it, saying “unh hunh” and says something about that, and then Rosie says, “we’ll be right back after this commercial break.”

What a dumb bitch, first of all its Justice LEAGUE. Justice Files is a Discovery Channel investigative show, which, obviously, she has never seen or heard of, in which detectives and cops tell stories and the Discovery Channel makes recreations and shit like that. Rosie needs to learn how to listen, because it always says “Justice League will be back after these messages.” And she probably doesn’t even know about Justice Friends, which is the same thing but it has Robin ::spins finger around:: whoohoo, and it was made in the 70s, the era in which SHE grew up in. Now, how do I know that and she not know that? What a dumb bitch!

Ms. E The Math Teacher is Boring

Ms E is so boring. She talks on and on about how b over a equals 3 + 5 and b divided by the square root of 1 equals absolutely 3! How boring can a math teacher get you might say? She just set the record.

She’s a bad teacher too, because she can’t notice I’m writing this in her class. She doesn’t explain anything. She does the easiest problems with not even all the different types of ways to do the problem. She gives us problems like: find the sum of the two lowest greatest consecutive odd negative integers.

Its crazy. She makes us do Long Division with letters. Its absolutely nuts. How do they get x cubed + 3x squared minus 4x minus 12 divided by x squared + 5x + 6 to be x-2!?!?!

I doubt I’ll ever need this shit! We never do it again in our lives! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

 

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Stuff Emily Dickinson Would Personify

-candy

-a jar

-plums

-a tree

-leaves

-sand

-dirt

-compost pile

-trash can

-trash

-wind

-the man next door she doesn’t talk to

-a bird flying overhead

-a bundle of sticks

-sky

-thunderstorm

-vases

-flowers

-fire

-clouds

-paper bag

-fruit basket

-her bed

-grass

-time

-emotions

-traits

-doors, entrances and exits

Who Emily Dickinson Is

Basically, Emily Dickinson was a loner that almost never left her house and communicated with people by letters and her loser sister that did her grocery shopping for her and such. She never was seen out of her house and was there for like 50 years without going outside or something…she wrote about a thousand STUPID poems, too

3 Things That Make Me Feel Proud, Special, or Unique

1. My imagination

This is the key to writing my stories. Without it I may have never made DBC (David Broadcasting Company).

2. My ability to write stories in script format

I made something called DBC (David Broadcasting Company) with TV shows, movies, sports, radio station, that kind of thing. I have a lot of TV shows for it and I’m also making a story for a web site I help on the internet.

3. My being able to figure out video games and computer games before I read the instructions.

I can figure out the basic commands (sometimes some advanced commands) the first time I put the game into the system. Sometimes I don’t even need the instruction booklet to learn how to play.

Evidence!!!

This would be evidence for 1 and 2. This story is based on Pokémon (a video game) where I turn the tables and when humans usually catch Pokémon the Pokémon catch humans. This is only about a page of the story. I have 10 pages so far:

Note: I took this piece of fine literature out of this article because I’m going to put it up as a separate thing later on. I’ll link it from here when its up. I’ll put it up when I feel that I’m ready to receive the backlash for even writing shit like that in my past.

I can’t really give any evidence for #3. I have no idea how I can give anything for that.

Dreams of the Future

This was written as an essay for dave’s 12th grade English class.

I have many dreams of the future for my life. There are different types of success that I would consider successful and some that are not successful for me at all. One thing is for sure though, in 30 years I want to see that I made a difference. I want to make an impact on a greater scale, and not be living life with nothing to look forward to with each passing day.

The main dream I have for my future is to become the head of a huge company that I build with my own hands, with or without help from others. I believe that within 10 years, I will be able to gain enough popularity to branch into different business fields. I will probably gain most of my popularity through my web site, because a lot of people like it, and as I slowly make money off of it, I will have enough money to do more things. I will also use some money I get elsewhere, like my job, to fund my ambitions for future development of my company. I know this is a long shot and it probably won’t happen, but it’s just a dream.

A second dream that I have, is to somehow rule the world, and THEN make a huge company that everyone loves, or will be forced to love. I would obtain the world by enlisting an army of millions and millions of people, that would like to join my cause. And once I had a powerful enough army, I would become the president of the United States, because the millions and millions of people that are in my army would vote for me, and then I would have control of my army and the United States Army, and then I would take over the world accordingly. The company I make would supply most of the world’s food and other necessary items, because I would force all the companies in the world to become apart of my company. I would be a fair and honest ruler, and the world will be passed down through the generations of my family. I know this isn’t going to happen at all though.

If I, in the future, end up doing things that are really important, and I end up not having a life that doesn’t have anything more to look forward to, then I would consider myself successful. I want everyday to be exciting and I want to be happy with the choices I made in my life, and the path that I took.

Email to a “Prison Warden”

this was a really fucking long time ago…I thought it was funny when i was doing it, but its just stupid now, but oh well. I have no idea what web site this was anymore…wow there’s a huge crow in my backyard…

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WHAT?? you send us to preeson??? you cannot do that till you find out i m a illegal in de states compandre! MY MOM IS A NURSE! she’ll get a bucncha cocters to sue you and you will die. i’m going to hak you site. stomp humpig you chair! you pig! you goys shuld make da prisons funner! you should give us guns, so that we can kill you and all your stupid guardsa. I’LL PERSONALLY ESTE OOMPA ON U ASS! I’LL GET MEDIEVEL TO! OPEN A CAN OF WHUP ASS! GET A 2 BY 8 AND KILL YOU! YfOuUcK try and and firger tat one out! I WANT TO HAVE KITTIEs! brecuz of yyour stinking finger i cannot have puppies and kitties in my hands at the ship! yyyyyyoooooouuuu arrrreeee nnnooottt cooollll….i demand a trial with a jury i pick out personnally and you will die. dont foget you will die. u should make the prisons more entertainig. put a chair up in my room. also a computer so ic can hak into you mind and screw up what somehow slipped away from bein screwed up. why would u work in a place lick dis? you get paid? i should have your gob. i am much more quallified dan you. i bet your name is nancy. what kind of a name is nancy for a warden of a prison where they hold a bunch of weirdos liek you een. slap slap slap. screamlikeamoron screamlikeamoron screamlikeamoron. bang bang bang. kill kill kill. eat eat eat. bang bang bang. slap slap slap. kill kill kill. sleep sleep sleep. I just discribed your everyday life.!’, yo should die. you our going to love to die. so satart crying you poo poo head. you shouldn’t dance like a hamster near anybody you know. you shouldnt dance a t all actualy poopp….knock knock, who’s there, you, you who? hi, you suck! guess what?>? its trues! i bet you dont wear shoes! are you a direct decendent of a lady named charles sheen and michale chakson? i bet you look like them. thank you good bye. no you cant come over to my house and have noodles. blah blah blah blah. fah-q fah-q. poopy head person. go poop in a sink you toilet brain. you sour punk. i oughtta bash your head in wit my steel guitar i brought from mexico. remember that i will este oompa on you ass one day in your life. watch you ass. hahaahahaha. i bet you’d actually look at it, wouldnt you? well poop on you. if you read it this far, i am amazed that you can read at all. and no, you cannot go on that date with me that i said you could go out with my dog skiwa and do something that i dont want you to behind my dog. you know what you’re gonna do with him. you shouldnt do things to dogs like that. poo poo brain i stick my tongue out to you =P =p

POO POO HEAD!!!!