megafohl – n. a big fohl <see fohl>
fohl
fohl – n. a focus group for back to school supplies
kanuj
kanuj – v. to make a fart noise by blowing into your hands
geedaneuu
geedaneuu – n. a noise that makes your balls shrink/clitoris retract
Joke #9380
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist went to the races one Saturday and laid their money down.
Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, “I don’t understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run…”
The physicist interrupted him: “…but you didn’t take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning…”
“…so if you’re so hot why are you broke?” asked the engineer. But before the argument had a chance to grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. They both demanded to know his secret.
“Well,” he says, between puffs on the pipe, “first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical…”
Joke #9379
In a foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.
The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens — he declares that he’s been saved by divine intervention — so he’s let go.
The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn’t release the blade. He claims he can’t be executed twice for the same crime, and so he is set free too.
They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, “Wait a minute, I see your problem……”
Joke #9378
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence.
The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, “A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution.”
The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, “This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd.”
The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, “I define myself to be on the outside!”
Joke #9377
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?
Joke #9376
Did you hear about the statistics professor who drowned in a pool which had an average depth of 30 cm?
Joke #9375
A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.The Physicist: “The measurement wasn’t accurate.”
The Biologist: “They have reproduced”.
The Mathematician: “If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again.”
Quote #9374
“The POP3 server service depends on the SMTP server service, which failed to start because of the following error:
‘The operation completed successfully.'”
– Windows NT Server v3.51
How Software Developers are Like Drug Dealers
Drug Dealers |
Software Developers |
| Refer to their clients as “users”. | Refer to their clients as “users”. |
| “The first one’s free!” | “Download a free trial version…” |
| Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). | Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code). |
| Strange jargon: “Stick,” “Rock,” “Dime bag,” “E”. | Strange jargon: “SCSI,” “RTFM,” “Java,” “ISDN”. |
| Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. | Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. |
| Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes. | Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, faster machines. |
| Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. | Often seen in the company marketing people and venture capitalists. |
| Their product causes unhealthy addictions. | DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D. ‘Nuff said. |
| Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you. | Damn! Damn! DAMN!!! |
Test10
We got a new email system for my school and some idiot IT guy sent a mass mail to everyone, leaving the “cluster name” in the To: field so that everyone can reply to it. And people started replying to it. And it goes to everyone.
————————————————————–
From: Goo, Simon [mailto:sgoo]
Sent: Wed 8/30/2006 3:46 PM
Subject: test10
Test10
Simon Goo
CSU Fullerton
Information Technology
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 6:53 PM
From bs:
What is test 10?
your mail is not clear to me
Bha. Su
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 8:31 PM
From cobian:
Why are you responding to email to “Simon Goo” at my email address? This is not Simon Goo’s email. Please make note.
-Alison Cobian
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 9:12 PM
From fv312:
I apologize for any inconvenience but I do not know who any of these contacts are. I would appreciate it if I could stop receiving mail from the contacts listed above. Thank you and again I apologize for any inconvenience.
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 11:08 PM
From ashleypark:
I apologize for any inconvenience but I do not know who any of these contacts are. I would appreciate it if I could stop receiving mail from the contacts listed above. Thank you and again I apologize for any inconvenience.
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 11:16 PM
From BeatriceNistor:
Please Stop adding the “DL-Stuexchcluster1” its why we’re all getting the mail
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 11:22 PM
From cmonge:
I also do not understand why I am receiving emails. Therefore please delete my email address from contacts. I do not know anyone of the contacts. Thank you
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 11:38 PM
From dannyphan03:
It’s pretty obvious that they’re testing the new email system. Simon Goo is the IT guy….so chill out people and stop sending these email to everyone…it’s getting pretty annoying. Thank you all
————————————————————–
Fri 9/8/2006 11:48 PM
From lv3tj:
Um.. i dont know any of u.. but.. i hope that this email thing.. stops soon!
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 12:04 AM
From EFeldman:
This is the funniest thing ever.
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 12:35 AM
From madenchina:
my god people… its clear that none of us know each other… if your lonely this is not the way to make friends… for god sakes this thing will stop when we stop responding to each other… oviously this has no importance of any kind so who gives a crap about what this is or what its for just dont respond to it! i hope that the message is clear enough: DONT PUSH THE DAM RETURN KEY!!!! if u c it leave it DEL this letter and DO NOT write a return message to this and it will stop!!!
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 1:18 AM
From echoi:
hqahahahahaha…imma add to the problem.. lol
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 1:19 AM
From echoi, again:
lol….just adding to the problem…lol…stress freaks
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 10:41 AM
From evphan:
me too i want to add to the problem 😉
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 11:18 AM
From anthonyha:
just using this opportunity to let you all know that i’m dead sexy
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 12:10 PM
From c_raquel_a:
The Simon Goo Test 10 was a system test of all email through CSUF. No response or request to be removed from the contact list is necessaary, ie.. if you are deleted it means no more email from anyone.
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 1:53 PM
From cindyguerrero:
Please stop sending e mail to my adress, I don’t know any of these people I am not Simon Goo
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 1:58 PM
From Ammar S. Amirkhizi :
Dear Simon,
This is turning into something like hotmail or yahoo e-mail accounts and I’m sure many of us don’t like to monitor our e-mails for spam.
It seems that some students do not have the ability to recognise that this is a student e-mail account and it is not to be used for spamming.
Please take the necessary actions for them to behave in an educated manner.
Sincerely,
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 2:11 PM
From jeschultz21:
Perhaps this is a mistake, but just to let you know that I am receiving this e-mail from you and I don’t know why.
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 2:22 PM
From spimentel23:
i’m receiving this as well.
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 2:34 PM
From lneumann:
do i know you people and what is test10?
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 2:37 PM
From be188207:
i dont know what is going on, i never sent mail to any of these addresses so in the future disreguard any messages from this user. Thanks
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 2:52 PM
From gonzales:
I don’t know any of you & i keep getting these emails about test10. PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME!! CHECK THE SPELLING OF THE EMAIL ADDRESSES YOU ARE SENDING TO!
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 2:55 PM
From jamiebarber:
why do i keep getting a million Test10 emails. Annoying!!
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 2:59 PM
From Lea Bagtas:
It seems to be that “Test10” is just what it states, a test. It may or may not be a spam. Nonetheless, if you wish to reply to email TEST10 or anything related to it, please make sure that you are using the “reply”, or “reply to sender” button instead of the “reply to all”.
This way, no one is getting redundant emails or blanket emails. I have received over 5 emails, all of which had nothing to do with me. I’m sure this is as much as an inconvenience to me as it is to others.
Thank you for your consideration.
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 3:04 PM
From lmkidwell892:
this is all going to my email as well. anybody know how to stop it because its kinda gettin annoying!!
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 3:11 PM
From kendiewendie:
PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST NOW!!!!! I DO NOT WANT THESE EMIALS ABOUT TEST 10 THANK YOU
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 3:18 PM
From gcon:
Can you please take me off of your mailing list! Test 10??? :/ Who are you guys? and why am i receiving mail from you??
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 3:21 PM
From Peter Martinez:
Yes, the main e-mail address list got leaked… somehow it started w/ IT sending out an e-mail to the “clusters” which probably means every student e-mail account.
Think of it as a huge myspace bulletin … yes, kind of annoying…
Peter
Chair, SOAR-CICC
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 3:23 PM
From EJB1188:
I think this will spam to everyone..I’m testing it out!
————————————————————–
Sat 9/9/2006 3:58 PM
From chris.nguyen:
wth? I have recieved over 35! 35! of these emails…please stop sending!
————————————————————–
Soon after, the e-mails stopped coming. And then all of a sudden they were all deleted from my inbox.
In conclusion, it would have gone on for eternity, since there’s like 32,000 people at my school. Idiots.
Intersections: Phenomena or Conspiracy?
Stupid intersections.
For example, you’re walking down the street, toward an intersection of 2 streets. As you walk toward it, not a car is there, but…as you get closer and you’re about to go across the street, the cars come from all ways, making your crossing all the more difficult, not to mention all the people driving the cars are usually idiots, almost running you over and such. Or if they don’t see you and cut in front of you, smiling and waving.
CROCK OF SHIT THAT’LL DO FOR YOU, THEY ALMOST RAN ME THE FUCK OVER, WHY SHOULD I BE SMILING AND WAVING BACK TO THEM? “THANKS FOR ALMOST RUNNING ME OVER, YOU GOT LUCKY THIS TIME!”
Then, as soon as you go across, they’re gone. No more cars. Its all bullshit really, its like all those people plan to go into the intersection at the same time as you.
Is it a conspiracy? Maybe.
Is it a phenomena? I don’t give a shit.
I’m just pissed off at intersections, and you should hate them too.
5 Is the Max: The Phone Call Theory
So, say you want to call your good friend so you can go hang out somewhere and possibly go somewhere to eat. Now, let’s put two of your favorite people in the world, davepoobond and Soup Nazi into this situation. Soup Nazi’s phone is fucked up for whatever reason, and davepoobond is trying to call him so they can go and do something, like eat a burger. Davepoobond not being able to contact Soup Nazi is a predicament, now, isn’t it? How many times is “enough” to try and contact a friend so you can go and do something together because you’re bored? Davepoobond and Soup Nazi are good friends, but not good enough to warrant any more than a maximum of five calls from davepoobond. Anything more than five calls may and SHOULD be translated as a stalker or someone that is trying to get into your pants.
The rule I propose is that if you are trying to contact someone just to hang out and do nothing important in particular, you are given a maximum of five tries to contact someone. The count resets once you actually make contact. However, this should never be broken unless you ABSOLUTELY need something from this particular person you’re calling. The only thing that would qualify for the need would be something like large amounts of money (we’re talking tens here, baby), ass, returning of a loaned out item, drugs (if you really need a hook up), or if your liver is about to fall out. In these cases, you’re allowed one extra call, adding up to six.
You’re a fucking psycho if you call someone more than five or six times.