Barbara: Did you hear about the boy who keeps going around saying no?
Nick: No.
Fifteen Things A Brother Or Sister Will Never Say To You
1. “Can I help you clean your room?”
2. “You decide what movie we go to. You have much better taste!”
3. “I don’t like hanging around with your friends. They’re much too sophisticated for me.”
4. “Can I finish your lima beans?”
5. “Here’s your sweater back. I had it cleaned before I returned it.”
6. “You don’t have to entertain me while Mom and Dad are out. I’ll go up to my room and read a book by myself.”
7. “You take the biggest piece of pie. I’m too full!”
8. “I’ll be happy to lend you ten dollars. Pay it back whenever you can.”
9. “Can I do your math homework for you tonight? I don’t have much to do.”
10. “It wasn’t your fault. It was all my fault.”
11. “I saw you were on the phone, so I decided to be silent.”
12. “Why don’t you wear my new Springsteen sweatshirt? It looks better on you!”
13. “Betcha I can wash and dry the supper dishes all by myself!”
14. “You sit in the front seat.”
15. “I started the fight. You didn’t!”
It’s Great to Have Brothers and Sisters Because…
There’s always someone around to blame for starting all the fights!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat the cauliflower!
When you catch a cold or the flu, there’s someone to share it with!
There are more birthdays to celebrate, and more presents that your brothers and sisters will be delighted to share with you!
There’s always someone around who can keep a secret from your mother – at least until she gets home from the store!
Your room is not the only one in the house that looks as if it was in the path of a hurricane!
There’s always someone dying to tell you the end of the movie you’re about to see so you don’t have to waste your time being surprised!
There’s always someone around to help you develop a sense of humor about yourself by teasing you all the time.
There’s always someone else in the house who votes for watching The Monkees instead of the six-o’clock news, so your dad is outvoted again!
There’s someone else who will break your best toys so you don’t have to feel bad that you did it yourself!
There are always interesting phone conversations to pretend you’re not listening to!
There’s someone to gobble up all the cookies and candy in the house before you can get to them or you don’t have to worry about your teeth rotting!
When Mom and Dad are yelling, it isn’t always about YOU!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat liver!
There’s always someone around to fight with so you don’t have to fight with your friends!
Joke #11471
Sister: Haven’t you finished the alphabet soup yet?
Brother: Not yet. I’m only up to the K’s.
Joke #11470
Brother: Why did Mom give us this for lunch? I hate cheese with holes.
Sister: Just eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of the plate!
Joke #11469
George: Look! I just found a lost football.
Louis: How do you know it’s lost?
George: Because the kids down the street are still looking for it!
Joke #11468
Q: How are a Texas tornado and a Texas divorce the same?
A: Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer
Joke #11467
Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes: “Whack, Dang!”
A bad skydiver goes: “Dang! Whack.”
Joke #11466
Q: What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The location of the dirt bag.
Joke #11465
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka.
Joke #11464
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Joke #11463
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.
Joke #11462
Q: What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
Joke #11461
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: Nothing, he just gave it a little wine.
Joke #11460
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.