Q: What is full of holes but still holds water?
A: A sponge.
Joke #20878
Q: How many sides does a circle have?
A: Two, inside and outside.
Joke #20877
Q: What kind of plant do you put in a cake?
A: Flower.
Joke #20876
Q: What flies and helps people?
A: A helidoctor.
Joke #20875
Q: What’s black and white and blue all over?
A: A frozen penguin.
Joke #20874
Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A “pouch” potato.
Joke #20873
Q: What did one casket say to the other casket?
A: That you coffin?
Joke #20872
Q: Why didn’t the turtle cross the road?
A: Because she forgot her purse.
Joke #20871
Q: What’s yellow and writes?
A: A ball point banana.
Joke #20870
Q: What do you call a very religious potato?
A: A medi-tater.
Quote #20869
For an assignment, davepoobond was supposed to create an “advertising tagline” for an image similar to the following.
“Now you don’t have to deal with your wife’s bullshit.”
– davepoobond
Quote #20868
For an assignment, davepoobond was supposed to create an “advertising tagline” for an image similar to the following.
“You don’t need to be in a race to reach a finish line.”
– davepoobond
Quote #20866
For an assignment, davepoobond was supposed to create an “advertising tagline” for an image similar to the following.
“Morning runs don’t have to be on the toilet.”
– davepoobond
Dan is a CPA
Dan is a CPA. He is a good CPA. He spent 20 years of his life in school to become a CPA. He got a job with the United States government, and he did CPA-ing to its finest.
He was nominated for best CPA at the CPA-award giving awards. But he lost to some other guy named Fernando, cause Fernando was a Mexican and Dan was white.
So, one day, some of Fernando’s rabid fans threw copious amounts of tequila on his front lawn, and set Dan’s house on fire.
Dan lost his home.
The next day, Dan was called into his boss’ office, and his boss fired him because he had nowhere to send his checks and he doesn’t want homeless people working for him.
Dan was banned from CPA-ing ever again. So, he borrowed money from the mafia and he didn’t pay back his loan and they broke his skull.
Moral: Get Direct Deposit.
Joke #20864
Q: In baseball, what’s at home plate?
A: Dinner.