Sing this like a terrible country song. I guess it’s a work in progress, but I’m not really working on it.
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My barn burned down
My dog died
My tractor don’t work and I sold it for parts
Oh I can’t kiss you
but I —
I can fuck you!
Category Archives: (C) Funny Songs
Fuk yo bitch Ass mom
Written for the movie Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets.
–
1st off fuk ur bitch n yo fat ass mom
i fn’ed fuken her but caz of her lose pussy i couldn’t cum
yea i no dats wrong
but tryin to battle against me
you won’t last long
like the weed in ma glass bong
they call me long shlong
Extended “Birthday Song” Lyrics
Everyone knows the birthday song, and quite frankly it sucks. The only reason you want to sing it is to get to the fun part at the end where you just go on forever making up stupid shit.
I don’t know why you start singing about what’s on television, though.
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And many more, on Channel 4
And Scooby Doo, on Channel 2
And Frankenstein, on Channel 9
And a naked lady, on Channel 80
And you will be, on Channel 3
First the Worst
This is the version of the playground rhyme that I remember from my elementary school. There are obviously a lot of variations.
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First the worst
Second the best
Third the nerd
Fourth the one with the hairy chest
Fifth the bitch
Sixth the snitch
Seventh goes to heaven
Eighth goes naked
Say You’ll Grow Hair
Parody of “Say You’ll Be There” by the Spice Girls.
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Say you’ll grow hair…
Say you’ll grow hair…
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see
This I swear…
Last time, you had an evaluation
I decided that I’d fix your split ends…yeah
But now I just twist them up in circles
Tell me when this growing bald spot will end…
Now you – tell me that you’re using a glove
Well the Velcro it should work easily…
This time, you gotta rake it easy, gently part it-
There’s just too much lotion for me…
Any fool can see that it’s falling,
Gotta take this hair to the can…. (Yes I do, yeah)
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see,this I swear…
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two, to be there… (Say you’ll grow hair!)
If you, glue 2 more hairs together
Then we’ll see – what this hair spray is for…
If you – can’t fight this bald invasion…
I’ll just make you sweep the hair off the floor.
There is no weave, too frayed or ugly
It would be better left on your head. (Yes it would, yeah)
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see… this I swear (Say you’ll grow hair!)
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two, to be there. (Yeah, toupees too)
I’m getting a new hair piece
For this boy I see ,this I swear… (Say you’ll grow hair!)
And… all that I want from you,
Is a wig or two to be there.
The Blunt That Never Ends
Parody of “The Song That Never Ends” from Lambchop’s Playalong.
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This is the blunt that never ends
It goes on and on my friends
Some people started smoking it
Not knowing what it was
And kept on smoking it
Just because (because because because)
(Continue from the top)
Jimmy Cracked Corn But No One Cares
Parody of “Jimmy Crack Corn”
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Jimmy cracked corn but no one cares
No one cares
No one cares
Jimmy cracked corn but no one cares
So why is there a fucking song about it?
A Song That Doesn’t End
This is a song that doesn’t end
Doesn’t end
Doesn’t end
Doesn’t end
Doesn’t end
Doesn’t end
Doesn’t end…
(Keep going until the world ends cuz you suck at singing wich won’t take long cuz you’re you!)
A.M.T.
Parody of the song “AC/DC – T.N.T.”
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Math!
Math!
Math!
Math!
Math!
Math!
Math!
Math!
See me sit in the desk at school
From your white board at the front of the class
Out for all that I can get
If you know what I mean
A girl to the left of me
And a guy to the right
Ain’t got no pencil
Ain’t got no eraser
Don’t you start no test
Cause I’m in AMT It’s algebra!
AMT! and I’ll fail that test!
AMT! I’ve done this before!
AMT! I’m doing it againnnnnnn!
I’m bored, mean and not listening
I want to leave
I don’t like the teacher
Understand?
So lock up your pencils
Lock up your erasers
Lock up your pencil box
And run for the door
The man is in the back of the room
To the left, in the second row against the wall
Cause I’m in AMT It’s algebra!
AMT! and I’ll fail that test!
AMT! I’ve done this before!
AMT! I’m doing it againnnnnnn!
AMT! Math! Math! Math!
AMT! Math! Math! Math!
AMT! Math! Math! Math!
AMT! Math! Math! Math!
AMT! Math! Math! Math!
AMT! Math!
It’s algebra! (Math! Math!)
AMT! Math!
And I’ll fail that test! (Math! Math!)
AMT! Math!
I’ve done this before! (Math! Math!)
AMT!
I’m doing it againnnnnnn!!!
I Have to Go to Work at 1
Parody of A*Teens – Dancing Queen.
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You can EAT, the SALADDD, I don’t care what you do with your hair
See that girl, she’s a ho, I work at one today
Friday night and I get to work
Looking out for number 1 (me)
Where they hand out prescriptions, and astroglide
You come into look for sales
Anybody could have those items
But you come in to see me, not really
With a bit of 90s music, everything is ok
Not in the mood for a dance
And when you go home…
I’m still working, I started at one, only eighteen
I work at one, feel the beat of the cash register
I can’t dance, I can’t bike or swim, its safe to say my life sucks
See that girl, there’s no way I’ll tap that ass
I’m a teaser, I make them mad
When the price isn’t the same as the one they saw
Looking for another, anyone will go
They’re in the mood to be a bastard
When they don’t get the price they want
I’m still working, I started at one, only eighteen
I work at one, feel the beat of the cash register
I can’t dance, I can’t bike or swim, its safe to say my life sucks
See that girl, there’s no way I’ll tap that ass
(fade)
Thin Mints Ballad
Thin mints!
They’re thin and they’re minty.
MINTYYYY!
The Magical Unicorn Song
I’m a magical unicorn
I have rainbow colors
And a glowing horn
We’ll have lots of fun today
Won’t you come with me and play?
The Real Meaning Behind Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
sung to the original song of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
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Do not trust minorities in your working environment,
sure they go about they’re own business for the time being,
but as soon as you turn your back they will take your job.
Rudolph was an obvious minority because he was the only one with a red nose and he took the
head job on the sleigh, he obviously took someone’s job.
And people said Christmas songs are good for the soul. Baah who needs em
Dave’s Song
He’s Dave…
If you hadn’t gave Dave some head…
You’ll be diggin’ a grave
Ohhh he’s Dave
Dave’s the maaaan
Dave’s cooool
Dave’s buffffff…
Cuz he’s da maaaaaannn
Dave drives a ‘cedes
‘82
cuz he’s fuckin’ awweeeeesomeeee
oh yeahhhhhhhh
The Happy Anniversary Song
Sung to the Happy Birthday song.
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Happy Anniversary to you
Happy Anniversary to you
Your life is like poo
Your names are (names)
After (#) of crappy years
You smell like poo
And you look like it, too