Women Are Not For Decoration
Category Archives: Media
Pictures, videos, audio, etc.
To Baghdad and Beyond
Hungry Hungry Hippos the Movie
Squacklecast Episode 8 – “Wait Till We Do a Number 9”
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We have a guest this week! It’s Daniel, the guy that went to the strawberry festival last week. We put him on the grill and insult his decision for going to the strawberry festival along with his weird two-headed friend, Lucy the Two-Headed Goosey.
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http://www.strawberryfestival.org/
What have we become? A never ending http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ ad for the http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ Strawberry Festival? http://www.strawberryfestival.org/
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In honor of the Zombie Apocalypse, AMC is starting a new show called…
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Zombie Apocalypse 2012:
Guy eating someone’s face off in Florida.
Guy eating his roommates brain in Maryland.
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Get off my computer, Jamie Oliver. You’re not a chemist. You’re just an asshole.
Silly Jaime Oliver, we shouldn’t be throwing away perfectly edible food. We should at least ship it off to Africa!
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McDonalds used to be a value. Now they try to sell you everything in bulk so that there is the same perceived value as what was once known as the Dollar Menu.
Only 20 bucks!
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That new Coldplay song is pretty bad. It doesn’t even sound like a Coldplay song.
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Rihanna looks dumb. Please remove her from my music and movies.
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Carly Rae Jepsen? Who stepped in what? Yet another terrible song for your listening pleasure:
The Sky Is The Limit must be gay code for anal sex. So is “funnel cake.”
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#1 – Piss
#2 – Poo
#3 – Poop and Pee at the same time.
#4 – Poo, Pee, and a Yak (a barf). Mostly done by bulimics and people who don’t feel very good.
#5 – Opening up your intestine and chopping up parts and throwing it at police (Zombies gotta poop somehow)
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The newer Dawn of the Dead introduced running zombies. Is it really that much weirder than the idea of zombies in the first place?
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[Rec] was a “demonic infestation” sort of zombie thing rather than a virus or reanimated corpses due to magic/radiation. By the way, that was a spoiler.
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Want to hire screamers with 13 dB yells or higher to make movies seem more scary than they are. Apply at the offices of William Castle.
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Facebook and Mark Zuckerburg jokes are so funny.
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The real #5 – Peeing inside someone. A whole #1, while penetrating them.
#6 – Same thing as #5 but taking a shit on them instead.
#7 – Forced ejaculation
#8 – Vegetables in orifices, coming out.
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The #1 (pun intended) defense against Zombies is making a house out of sugary treats.
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#9 – You don’t even need a can opener. You just peel it back and drop that shit in, then you turn it to medium heat and stir it.
#10 – Strawberry sauce/Period Juice on your Hot Dog.
#11 – “Painting the porta potty.” The paintbrush is your dick and the porta potty is a person’s ass.
X Squared – all of the above
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Boy that was a great one, huh, guys? Who knows what’s going to happen next week!
Squacklecast Episode 7 – “FUCK the Strawberry Festival!”
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This week we watched Chernobyl Diaries, a movie about a bunch of college kids going to Russia to dick around and take Instagrams of ruined buildings and put them in meaningless filters so that they can show off to their friends. They also bring their crazy knife-wielding soccer coach along for the lulz.
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Chernobyl Diaries has an old zombie lady masturbating in a closet in an attic of one of the buildings. Gross!
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Too much Carrie Underwood and Colbie Caillat in Chernobyl Diaries for my taste. It’s almost like a boring wedding video.
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This is the knife that the soccer coach had.
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Why does Will Smith like making sequels to movies 10 years after the fact? It’s not like he was doing anything that important in the mean time between movies. If he’s going to make a shitty movie, he might as well make it while it is still relevant.
Bad Boys (1995) -> Bad Boys II (2003) = 8 years
Men in Black II (2002) -> Men In Black III (2012) = 10 years
I, Robot (2004) -> I, Robot 2 (currently 2015) = ~11 years
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Hologram Tupac takes the forefront in Men In Black III, don’t be fooled by the trailers. They’re pulling a Metal Gear Solid 2 on us.
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Ali 2 will be Will Smith walking around with Parkinson’s until he either cures it or dies from it, made in 2018.
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Independence Day 2 or even 3? Welcome to URF again in 10 years!
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Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith shitting on their White House and blowing up alien landmarks. How do you like that, mother fuckers!? Aliens getting shit on all the time!
Kind of sounds like Avatar…
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Avatar 2 is gonna be at the bottom of the ocean. Or something. You heard it here first, Jeff Goldblum is in Avatar 2.
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On the flip side of things, Prometheus looks like it’ll be a good movie.
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Mortal Kombat: Legacy was terrible. You should watch it. It was directed by that guy that did Fame.
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Street Fighter and The Legend of Chun-Li had it right — only have a story about one character, not 35 million characters at the same time. That’s about the only thing they did right, and the rest of it was so wrong it was right.
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Paul W.S. Anderson is the poor man’s Michael Bay. And obviously not as good looking.
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Dead Or Alive is one of Paul W.S. Anderson’s travesties. But at least that is better than any of Uwe Boll‘s movies.
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The Island is a less classy version of Never Let Me Go.
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George Lucas would probably go back into the Star Wars movies and remove Ewan MacGregor’s beauty marks just so that it is consistent through all of the movies.
Kind of something like this:
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And most of all, FUCK THE STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL!
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Everything is going to be made from the blood of trees now.
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The Middle East is just a big fucking desert, who cares what happens to the environment there. No one freakin lives there anyway. So let’s toss all of our unused plastic bags into it.
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See you guys next week! :licky:
This Man Normalizes His Data
Where the Fuck Is Jeeves?
You Don’t Want to Win This Prize
GeForce 256 GPU Box Art
Drunk Cat
Fascist Cats
You Play Too Many Videogames. You Have Too Many Periods.
Red Bull(shit)
Squacklecast Episode 6 – “Mermaid Off the Port Bow!”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Whoa, did we miss another week? Sorry ya’ll, but this week we’ll take a look at The Little Mermaid, Snow White, and how they’re both kind of crappy movies. The reason why we’re even bothering? Because Billy never watched it before last week!
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The Evil Queen should have put Snow White into a sleeper hold and then shot her.
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Little Mermaid run time – 83 minutes
Snow White run time – 83 minutes
D:
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Who would do a credit for “Birds”? Purv Pullen, of course.
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Bedtime for Bonzo… a movie with Ronald Reagan and a chimpanzee! I’d guess its a movie about killing a lab chimpanzee from the title.
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Squackle Film Festival, with Troll 2 to begin and to end! Also featuring Strange Saga of Hiroshi the Sex Machine and Hooking Up. More movies to be announced at a later date.
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Wouldn’t YOU like to penetrate the Little Mermaid?
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Sebastian is just a scrotum with a huge penis coming out of it along with pincers. A dick with pincers, even.
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Ariel would qualify for being an episode of Hoarders.
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TWO new Snow White movies? Whyyyyy? Number 1. Number 2.
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Who the fuck is that guy in the mirror? It must be Zordon.
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The fairest one of all?
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WHO PUT A DICK IN THIS BOX?
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Whatever you do, don’t search for “Little Mermaid Hentai…”
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Will it be two weeks or next week that we do the next podcast? No one knows.
Jacob is the Fairest One of Them All