Bcum A Pyro: hello
davepoobond: hi
Bcum A Pyro: u smell like poo\
davepoobond: you probably think thats funny huh
Bcum A Pyro: uh huh
Bcum A Pyro: are u attractive?
davepoobond: sure
Bcum A Pyro: r u sexy?
davepoobond: sure
Bcum A Pyro: am i making u hott?
davepoobond: they come hand in hand
davepoobond: no
Bcum A Pyro: oic
Bcum A Pyro: bye
davepoobond: l
Previous message was not received by Bcum A Pyro because of error: User Bcum A Pyro is not available.
KristenRocks528: lol
davepoobond: …hi…
davepoobond: do you have anything else to say except lol
KristenRocks528: no
KristenRocks528: thats about it
davepoobond: what are you laughing about then
KristenRocks528: nothin
davepoobond: unh hunh
Space Poop: hey
davepoobond: hi
Space Poop: a/s/l
davepoobond: 17/m/ca
davepoobond: u
Space Poop: 17/m/il
Space Poop: i saw ur website
Space Poop: its funny
davepoobond: thanks
Space Poop: poo
davepoobond: what’d you like about it
Space Poop: poo is in both our sn’s
davepoobond: yeah…
Space Poop: what did i like about what?
davepoobond: the site
Space Poop: its funny as hell
davepoobond: like anything in specific
Space Poop: umm
Space Poop: its funny?
Space Poop: i dunno
davepoobond: heh
Space Poop: the IMs just make me laugh
davepoobond: do you think it needs anything?
Space Poop: hmm
davepoobond: or is there something that can be improved or something
Space Poop: my brain is thinking
Space Poop: no
Space Poop: its good
Space Poop: you said it! you just said i’ve been Xed!
Space Poop: oh my gosh!
Space Poop: my friend said i would never talk to jamie kennedy
davepoobond: oh
davepoobond: you’ve been xed again
davepoobond: ha ha
Space Poop: stop it!
Space Poop: im gonna need to change my pants
davepoobond: and again and again
Space Poop: wee!
davepoobond: that kinda cancels out though
davepoobond: :-X
Space Poop: my fat self has to go get the pizza out of the oven
davepoobond: you should join the squackle bulletin board
davepoobond: yaa…
davepoobond: i gtg
Space Poop: ok
davepoobond: do you like Poison the band
Poison Ivy: no…it’s from the batman series
davepoobond: ohhhh
davepoobond: the one that gives everyone paralyzing poisons
davepoobond: and she’s green
Poison Ivy: it’s my nickname…yea
davepoobond: and all she does is sit on her flower
davepoobond: and tell vines to attack
Poison Ivy: yup…
Poison Ivy: tries to kill batman
davepoobond: that’s pretty sad. batman is the man
davepoobond: he’s got eyebrows on his mask
Poison Ivy: yea…..my ex bf nickname is batman
davepoobond: did he start going out with robin? is that why you broke up
davepoobond: hahaaaaaaaaa
davepoobond: hahaaaaaaaaa that was funny
Poison Ivy: lmao…nah
Poison Ivy: villans and good guys don’t
Poison Ivy: make for good couples
davepoobond: did he go with catwoman then?
davepoobond: that’s the whole basis of that show on WB
davepoobond: y’know
Poison Ivy: beforoe he went out wiuth me he did
Poison Ivy: we have a whole batman goup
davepoobond: ok that’s pretty sad
Poison Ivy: yea
davepoobond: who’s harley
Poison Ivy: my frined rai
davepoobond: does she wear clown makeup and a red tight jumper suit
Poison Ivy: no…for halloween she wanted to..she was the only one that
didn’ dress up
davepoobond: boob
Poison Ivy: ok?
davepoobond: boob poop dood qooq
Poison Ivy: ?
davepoobond: its the same letter but its in different positions yeahhh
Poison Ivy: oic
davepoobond: bpdq
Poison Ivy: wmwm
davepoobond: o0o0
Poison Ivy: hmmm
Poison Ivy: 6969696
davepoobond: l1
Poison Ivy: i can’t think of anymore
davepoobond: i win
davepoobond: hahaaa
Poison Ivy: hehe
Poison Ivy: damn
davepoobond: do you like pearl jam
Poison Ivy: nope
davepoobond: :-X
Poison Ivy: u like em?
davepoobond: yeah
Poison Ivy: cool
Poison Ivy: you liike evanescense ?
davepoobond: yeah
Poison Ivy: cool
davepoobond: hey bro
Beauluver: who is this?
davepoobond: death
Beauluver: okay
davepoobond: i’ve come for you
davepoobond: online
Beauluver: im not ur bro
Beauluver: okay ell bye
Beauluver: fuck off
davepoobond: WTF
davepoobond: U CANT DO THAT TO DEATH
davepoobond: YOU CAN JUST SAY FUCK OFF TO DEATH
Beauluver: bye n*gger!
davepoobond: WHEN YOUR TIME COMES IT COMES
davepoobond: AND RACIST BITCHES GO DOWN FASTER
Beauluver: k
Beauluver: good
Beauluver: bitch
Beauluver: who the fuck are you
davepoobond: i told you
Beauluver: u piece of shit person
davepoobond: DEATH
Beauluver: k
Beauluver: bye bitch
davepoobond: k bye cracker
–
I get warned to like 80%.
I warn her to 35%.
–
Beauluver: or im not all white
davepoobond: CRACKA CRACKA
Beauluver: fuck u
Beauluver: nigga
Beauluver: nigga
Beauluver: nigga
Beauluver: blacky
davepoobond: BURN CRACKA CRACKA
Beauluver: k
Beauluver: well who r u
davepoobond: jo mama
Beauluver: i fucking know ur not death
Beauluver: k well i guess its too bad that my momma is dead bitch
davepoobond: i told you i’m death
Beauluver: so what r u coming back from he;;
Beauluver: ll
davepoobond: my name is Dr. Dave
davepoobond: i have my own tv show
Beauluver: k
Beauluver: do u even fucking know me
davepoobond: i’ve been watching you from afar
Beauluver: k
davepoobond: admiring you
davepoobond: in your radiant beauty
Beauluver: r u watching me now
Beauluver: bitch
davepoobond: no
Beauluver: y not?
davepoobond: cause i’m talking to you now
davepoobond: i dont have 4 arms
Beauluver: k why dont you call me
davepoobond: ok
Beauluver: k neither do i
Beauluver: call me
Beauluver wants to directly connect.
Beauluver cancels request; no connection was made.
davepoobond: why do you wanna send me a image
Beauluver: are you black
davepoobond: no
Beauluver: then what are you
davepoobond: as white as mary’s lamb’s fleece
Beauluver: k
Beauluver: k
davepoobond: k
Beauluver: ashlie u r poopie
davepoobond: eipoop
davepoobond: har har
Beauluver: N*GGER
Beauluver: N*GGER
Beauluver: N*GGER
davepoobond: we’ve been through that already
Beauluver: I HATE N*GGERS
davepoobond: y
Beauluver: CUZ THERE SO BLACK
Beauluver: BYE
davepoobond: i’m not black
Beauluver: I DONT LIKE TALKING TO N*GGERS
Beauluver signed off at 6:40:11 PM.
–
5 minutes later…
–
Beauluver: NGGER
davepoobond:
Beauluver: N*GGER*
davepoobond:
Beauluver: OKAY
Beauluver:
Beauluver:
Beauluver:
Beauluver:
–
I sign onto a different screen name and IM him.
–
davepoobond: WHY DO YOU BUILD ME UP!!!
davepoobond: BUILD ME UP
davepoobond: BUTTERCUP BABY
davepoobond: JUST TO LET ME DOWN
davepoobond: AND MESS ME AROUND AND WORST OF ALL
Beauluver: K
Beauluver: NIG
davepoobond: YOU NEVER CALL BABY WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL
davepoobond: I NEED YOU
davepoobond: MORE THAN ANYONE DARLING
–
He IMs me again on the original screen name.
–
Beauluver: SO WHATS UP
Beauluver: AS
davepoobond: wow really
Auto Response From Beauluver: brbLONG AS UR NOT BLACK THEN THATS FINE
Beauluver: no im lying
davepoobond: oh.
davepoobond: is it cause i called you a nut
Beauluver: u r stupid
Beauluver: no is it cuz u dont have n e
davepoobond: n e what
Beauluver: NUTD
Beauluver: Sn
Beauluver: NUTS*******
davepoobond: wow that was good
davepoobond: didnt see that coming
Beauluver: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.
davepoobond: didnt see that coming
Beauluver: i know
davepoobond: racist chicks make me hot, y’know
Beauluver: it sweapt u away
Beauluver: k
Beauluver: whats ur #?
davepoobond: 1-800-take-me-to-funky-town
Beauluver: ya know a a phone number oh wait being a n*gger like u probably dont have one
Beauluver: k i’ll call u
davepoobond: that doesn’t insult me cause i’m not black
Beauluver: k
Beauluver: if someone called me black i’d like murder them
davepoobond: have you heard of the civil rights movement
Beauluver: oh of course not
davepoobond: k just checking
davepoobond: cause i’m learning about that right now
davepoobond: in american history
davepoobond: yeah
Beauluver: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.
davepoobond: y’know, its a class, at school.
davepoobond: a prerequisite for college
Beauluver: k
davepoobond: do you watch hollywood squares?
davepoobond: you should probably update your profile
davepoobond: cause you say you dont hate anyone
davepoobond: do you watch basketball?
davepoobond: you’d probably implode if you did
davepoobond: i suggest staying away from espn too
davepoobond: do you listen to la bouche
davepoobond: hey bro
YoungProphecy189: i dont know who this is
davepoobond: good
davepoobond: and that impacts me how
YoungProphecy189: how am i your bro if i dont know you
davepoobond: how are you my bro……if……..?
davepoobond: what does if mean?
davepoobond: you suck
YoungProphecy189: davepoobond (9:22:06 PM): hey bro
YoungProphecy189: how the fuck am i your bro
davepoobond: i ruv you
–
I get warned to 35%.
I warn him to 10%.
–
davepoobond: HA U LIKE THAT
YoungProphecy189: STOP BOTHERIN ME
davepoobond: is it true?
Auto response from Trance N Dent: Blit
Trance N Dent: is what true
davepoobond: that you like cinnamon and gay sex
Trance N Dent: yeah 🙁
davepoobond: that’s appaling
davepoobond: i’ll never forget those nights
davepoobond: i wonder if it was a dream
davepoobond: all night i was screaming
davepoobond: and baby when i get you back
davepoobond: i’ll show you what i’m made of
Trance N Dent: tru whos this?
Trance N Dent: obvious a kid ahaha
Trance N Dent: well I gotta get back to tha game
davepoobond: i wouldn’t be singing boys of summer to you if i were a kid
davepoobond: loser
Auto response from Trance N Dent: Blitday is friday everybody commin up my way trying grub on tha yayo niggas cant say no to this shit it hits like 2 ton brick.
hat toss: for flash movies do you gotta send the .fla file?
hat toss: to submit one
davepoobond: yeah if you want
hat toss: whats another option?
davepoobond: swf
hat toss: ok
hat toss: are you flash movies uploaded as swf?
davepoobond: yes…
hat toss: alright
hat toss: you put three periods at the end, i guess that means that was a no-brainer question :-\
hat toss: How did you pay for your dot com?
davepoobond: why do you care
hat toss: so i know if i paid for mine a decent way
hat toss: i used a money order
davepoobond: how much did you pay for yours
hat toss: like 5 or 6 bucks
davepoobond: that’s fine
hat toss: www.godaddy.com
hat toss: i REGISTERED it at go daddy, thats not my site
davepoobond: what’s your site then
hat toss: i wouldnt be caught dead registering a url like that
hat toss: that’s confidential, till i get billed
davepoobond: i thought you sent a money order
hat toss: (i dont like people looking at the who-is info)
hat toss: no
hat toss: online form
hat toss: did you use a credit card?
davepoobond: why do you care so much
davepoobond: if you pay for it you pay for it
hat toss: oh man
hat toss: that was good
hat toss: have you played ddr?
davepoobond: dungeons and dragons?
davepoobond: diddy kong racing?
hat toss: dance dance revolution, lol
davepoobond: no
hat toss: do you know what it is?
davepoobond: yes
hat toss: i was in a competition, but this FUCKEN asian dude went right before me and he was like… on fire and i just dropped out
davepoobond: too bad
davepoobond: you could’ve been the ddr king
hat toss: he was wearing some visor upside down and sideways with his right pant leg rolled up… you could clearly see that this kid meant business
hat toss: dont you think that’s pretty intimidating?
davepoobond: sure
hat toss: yeah, considering i wore a wife-beater and jeans
hat toss: whats a 6.9? a 69 interupted by a period
davepoobond: i’ve already got that joke on the site…
hat toss: hahaha, i crack myself up
hat toss: oh
hat toss: shit
hat toss: fuck
hat toss: dammit
hat toss: my bad
hat toss: do you accept racist jokes?
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: they’re jokes still
hat toss: ok, whats worse than a mexican and a burrito?
davepoobond: but i put it for both sides so it balances out
hat toss: oh, nevermind lol
hat toss: do you have “surenos” where you live?
davepoobond: no..
hat toss: they’re some mexican gang
hat toss: nobody likes them
hat toss: what about bloods and crips?
davepoobond: i dont know, i dont go out asking what kinds of gangs we’ve got here
hat toss: haha
hat toss: by ‘here’, what do you mean?
hat toss: san diego??? hmm hmm hmm
hat toss: santa cruz????????
hat toss: one of those damn s’s
davepoobond: yeah sure, santa cruz
hat toss: thats pretty groovy
hat toss: i live in a place that’s initials are S.F.
hat toss: it has a bridge…..
hat toss: take a guess
davepoobond: san franco?
hat toss: SO CLOSE!!!
davepoobond: san fuckerslivehere
hat toss: san francISCo
hat toss: you almost had it
hat toss: eh fuck, i’ll give you the plus points anyway
davepoobond: what city is that, i never heard of that place
hat toss: seems that either you or your sister went to alcatraz
davepoobond: since when
hat toss: since you put the story up
davepoobond: exactly, its a story
davepoobond: i didnt actually go
hat toss: oh man
hat toss: my life’s ruined
davepoobond: why do you care so much
hat toss: i dont actualy
davepoobond: surreee ya dont
hat toss: ok fine you got me there….
hat toss: did you take the ferry boat?
hat toss: it’s two story
davepoobond: i dont remember, i wrote it in 9th grade
hat toss: we had one of those last year, i talked about tryign to join a gang
davepoobond: great
hat toss: it wasnt really
hat toss: actualy, it was kinda funny
davepoobond: did they shoot you in the arm
hat toss: no, the heart
hat toss: i joined up with a mexican gang,like actualy got the beating and “acceptance” then about 15 minutes after the free weed, i was like “you do realize that i am not mexican, right?”
hat toss: then their eyes glowed red and they attacked me
hat toss: but it was still worth is
hat toss: it*
hat toss: why does the S and the T gotta be SO GOD DAMN CLOSE?!
hat toss: do you keep those stupid notes?
davepoobond: what?
hat toss: screwed up town
hat toss: the notes
davepoobond: no
hat toss: i see
hat toss: how did you think of that name….. Squackle
davepoobond: jo mama gave it to me
hat toss: how did she think of it?
hat toss: THAT BITCH!!!!!!!
hat toss: Donkmaster is a sell out. I’m gonna make a shrine in his sell out-ednessness honor, make comics about him and humiliate him. Its been about a year since he’s sold out.
hat toss: you never got aroudn to that
davepoobond: so what
hat toss: you should make Blow The Toad and donkmaster fight
hat toss: that would be great
davepoobond: i wouldn’t insult donkmaster like that
hat toss: ey??
hat toss: barqoa: to eat batteries with gratitude
hat toss: tappparv: to mean nothing
hat toss: there, two words just for you
Found the following coins today:
Canadian Penny – 1988
Penny – 1930
Penny – 1967
Nickel – 1957-D
Nickel – 1958-D
Nickel – 1961
Nickel – 1962
Nickel – 1969-D
Nickel – 2004-P
Canadian Dime – 1974
author – n. someone who writes fucked up and stupid books for stupid people to read. Other times you can be cool if you write books with loads of cuss words in them, or write stuff that is actually interesting and not completely stupid, and full of characters we actually care about
Ex. Most authors are horrible at writing.
eraser designer – n. someone who makes cool designs for erasers
helium tank attendant – n. someone who fills up balloons with helium for annoying little kids so they can lose them
underwear inspector – n. someone who inspects underwear by sniffing them. If you are an underwear inspector and see someone wearing your inspected underwear, you can say “you’re wearing my undies”
English teacher – n. someone who dances around and talks about symbolism, poetry and the like all day long, doing the same dance steps six or so times a day
meat cutter – n. someone who cuts meat after peeing on it, claiming its a special marinate, and charge double price for it