seaeostaba – v. to hunt whales in a landlocked country
axbye – v. to shoot a whale from a car
Your momma’s so fat that when she jumped into the ocean the whales started singing “We are Family.”
Q: What’s big, blows water from its spout, and turns up once every 76 years?
A: Whaley’s Comet.
Q: Who’s the world’s greatest whale magician?
A: Moby Trick.
Q: Who is the saddest whale?
A: Mopey Dick.
Q: What do big white whales play cards with?
A: Moby Deck.
“I have pie in my refrigarator and its all mushy. it has whale feet in it!”
I feel as uncomfortable as a whale in a sardine can.
– Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
– Seventy sailors sailed seven swift ships.
– Joe jumps joyfully in June and July.
– Davy Dear ducks Dinah Dear daily.
– Fast Freddie Frog fries fat flying fish.
– Hairy Harry Hartley hurries home.
– Slippery southern snakes slide swiftly down ski slopes.
– Billy Bunny burst his big beautiful blue balloon.
– Fran fans Fred frantically.
– Fast Frank fries frankfurters and french fries.
– How many bagels could a Beagle bake if a Beagle could bake bagels?
– Seven silly skunks sighed sadly.
– Little Linda Lamb licks her lovely lips.
– “Shoot, Sally,” Slim Sam shouted shyly.
– Wee Willy whistles to wise Wilber Whale.
Q: What do whales like to chew?
A: Blubber gum.
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she’d be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she’d be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg (hey! it’s the ’90’s!) he’d be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she’d be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she’d be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she’d be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he’d be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he’d be G. Ghali G.
Nog (Quark’s brother on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”) has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he’d be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she’d be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale. (This one may take a little longer to get)
If Jack Handy (“Saturday Night Live” writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he’d be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.
If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.
If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard, “Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.”
Q: What kind of guitars do whales play?
A: Eel-letric guitars
Q: What do whales spread on their toast?