Stupid Note

I found this note at school.

Peter
You know Greg, you’re really starting to piss me off

Greg
I’m pissing you off!?
Well, shit, it piss me off
that I’ve come to a new place
and I’m trying desperately to
fit in and thrive in a new school
while your rich, pretty boy ass
hides in big daddy’s pocket
as he shells out mass amount of
Ben Frankling for your fu resplendent
future as a professional jerk off

Peter
That’s it you little bitch. I’m
bring you down one way or
another

Suffice to say, I do not know who these people are or the dramatic ending to this story that probably ended 10 years ago.

 

The tea is too cold…

I found this at school.

The tea is too cold

The tea is too hot.  I can’t drink it.

I can’t put my dictionary in my pocket.  My dictionary is too big.

An elephant is too big.  A mouse is too small.

I can’t buy a boat because it’s too expensive, but Anita can buy one if she wants to.

We went to the Rocky Mountains for our vacation.  The mountains are too beautiful.

I can’t eat this food because it’s too salty.

Amanda doesn’t like her room in the dorm.  She thinks it’s too small.

I lost your dictionary.  I’m too sorry.  I’ll buy you a new one.

A: Do you like your math course?

B: Yes.  It’s too difficult, but I enjoy it.

 

#23320: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

davepoobond: i have 4 classes tomorrow that we watch a movie in

stimpyismyname: woot

stimpyismyname: roxor

davepoobond: isn’t that weeeeeeeeird

stimpyismyname: woot

stimpyismyname: haxortheinternet.com

davepoobond: ahh?

davepoobond: what is it

davepoobond: that’s not a real site..

stimpyismyname: so what

stimpyismyname: whatcha gonna do about it

stimpyismyname: bitch

 

#23318: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: :-):-P;-):-(:-P;-):-)>:o

stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-P:-(;-):-P;-):-(

stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-*:-(=-O:-P

stimpyismyname: ;-):-(>:o:-P=-O

davepoobond: wow

stimpyismyname:
:-):-(;-):-P
:-(;-):-P:-)
;-):-P:-):-(
:-P:-):-(;-)

stimpyismyname: theres a lot of courses for film at bu

davepoobond: whats bu

stimpyismyname: boston university

davepoobond: yeah i’m sure to get in there

stimpyismyname: dont care

 

#23298: chewy17171717 -> davepoobond

chewy17171717: hahhah i like your profile it matches mine

davepoobond: reallllly

chewy17171717: ya

chewy17171717: isn’t that so cool

chewy17171717: r u from china

davepoobond: definitely

chewy17171717: ?

davepoobond: oh yes i’m chinese

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: the place they speak mandarin

chewy17171717: hahah me too

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: coool

davepoobond: the place where they sell the fish frying in deep oil

chewy17171717: so what r u doin tonight

davepoobond: i’m going to jack off

davepoobond: what about you

chewy17171717: hey i have a kid in a room

davepoobond: a room?

davepoobond: what do you do with this kid in a room

chewy17171717: no my kid

chewy17171717: i um take care of it

chewy17171717: u perv its my kid

davepoobond: really?

chewy17171717: ok anyway

davepoobond: wait a seconddd

chewy17171717: actually i live in hong konk

chewy17171717: kong

davepoobond: your profile says you’re 14 and you go to catholic school

davepoobond: how can you have a kid

chewy17171717: i did like 3 weeks ago

chewy17171717: i need somone else to help me out

chewy17171717: like a father

davepoobond: and you think you’ll find one online

davepoobond: i getchya

chewy17171717: will u

chewy17171717: no im jk

chewy17171717: her name is Laurel

chewy17171717: i hate catholic skewls

chewy17171717: its so devestating

davepoobond: actually, i wouldn’t mind being your husband

chewy17171717: is your name dave

davepoobond: i’m 42, and have a decent job

davepoobond: yes i am

chewy17171717: really

chewy17171717: ooo u arn’t the pervert in the 17 magazine

chewy17171717: r u

davepoobond: no. i think he’s my cousin though

davepoobond: i’m a subscriber to it

davepoobond: i get every issue

chewy17171717: really have u read the recent one

davepoobond: i usually jack off to it everyday at 7:36 PM

davepoobond: no i haven’t

chewy17171717: what r the magazines about

davepoobond: i was going to open it at 7:33:23 to look through it

davepoobond: i dont know, i dont read the articles

davepoobond: there’s just stupid topics about stupid kids

davepoobond: i dont like them, i just fuck them

davepoobond: oops did i just say that

davepoobond: oh well

chewy17171717: hey im one those kids

chewy17171717: oo would u like to fuck me

davepoobond: well then, there goes by parole

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: your 42 and a redneck

chewy17171717: great

chewy17171717: what i always wanted

davepoobond: who says i’m a redneck?

chewy17171717: my name is Brigid

chewy17171717: i do

chewy17171717: sob

davepoobond: your profile says you’re julie

chewy17171717: jk

chewy17171717: hahah

chewy17171717: my bitch is fuckin me

davepoobond: oh no

chewy17171717: thats my friends name im spendin

chewy17171717: hahah jk

chewy17171717: so u must be one of those perverts arnt u

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: u guys r the ppl who did this to me

davepoobond: sowwy

chewy17171717: stop talken to me

davepoobond: i thought you wanted to fuck

davepoobond: you fuck

chewy17171717: um no

chewy17171717: excuse me but my daughter is to young

chewy17171717: u should no better

chewy17171717: u young kids should be thinking about skewl not girls

davepoobond: how old is she

chewy17171717: 9

davepoobond: so you had a baby when you were 5

chewy17171717: i think u would know better than that

chewy17171717: no this is the mother of the girl u just talked to

chewy17171717: so i said good day

Just then I get warned “anonymously.”

davepoobond: and then what did i say

Previous message was not received by chewy17171717 because of error: User chewy17171717 is not available.

 

Quote #22778

“Hello, My name is Shawn and I need to buy a few books still after I bought books for the liberal studies class I’m taking the books I need to get still are: … ”

*insert list of books*

” … and I’m wondering if there are used copies, am I able to rent them for the semester and are they in stock

okay thanks”

– an e-mail from davepoobond’s job

 

Quote #22691

“Im going to college to become a preschool teaching trying to become a preschool teacher thats my passion and my profession.I like to go the computer and watch tv and watch movies too and I love to go swim.
I dont act like anybody else or be something Im not.I like all kinds types of music except Jazz.I like to go partying and drinking just have a good time. And I love beer and I love to smoke weed and hookah. I want to just to find nice,good and sweet,kind gentle man guy.Ive never been to a rave or strip club yet at all.”

– from a girl’s dating profile