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Tag - pig


zadowe

March 3rd, 2013 Posted in Dictionary No Comments »

zadowe – v. to dump pig blood into a river in copious amounts

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logixlogy

March 29th, 2012 Posted in Dictionary No Comments »

logixlogy – v. to sleep with cows, chickens, and pigs

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In Holland There Once Was a Man

July 27th, 2011 Posted in (C) Funny Poem, Poetry and Songs No Comments »

In Holland there once was a man

who had fun with a pig in his van

it was harder than thought

he got caught in its snort

and now he has an all over tan

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Joke #21453

May 15th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: Whats pink and hard?

A: A pig with a flick knife.

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Dialogue Between a Hillbilly Husband and Wife (very dramatic)

April 7th, 2011 Posted in Films, Squackle Broadcasting Company No Comments »

Maw: Paw, git up.  It’s time to fuck the hogs and milk the trees.

Paw: Milk the trees???  Listen, I milked them last night.

Maw: Well, git up.  Listen, the old red cow is crowing.

Paw: What’s fer breakfast?  Corn pone and black-eyed poop?

Maw: No.  I got some nice fried beer belly.

Paw: Good.  After breakfast I’ll slap the chickens and I’ll have to fix the still.

Maw: What’s wrong with the still?

Paw: It’s turning out pee instead of moonshine.  I think I’ve been putting too much meat in the mash.

Maw: Well, don’t forget to take your rifle, Paw.  If a Revenue Agent spots you you can shoot him in the arse.

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Joke #20944

March 30th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: How many pigs does it take to make a hamburger?

A: None – they are made out of cows.

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The Three Little Pigs

March 8th, 2011 Posted in Fairy Tales, Stories No Comments »

Once upon a time there were three little pigs who decided to build themselves houses.  The first pig was mooned and he built his house of farts.  The second pig worked very fart-like and built a house of of yahoos.  But the third pig was punched.  He built his house out of losers and acid piss.  Then one day a big wolf came along.  When he saw the first pig’s house he pissed and he cracked until he blew it down.  Then he blew down the second pig’s treasure.  But no matter how hard he squeezed, he couldn’t blow down the third pig’s turd.

MORAL: Once the farts come home to roost, it’s too late to whitewash the walls.

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The Pig Test

February 21st, 2011 Posted in The Squackle Quiz No Comments »

You have only one minute, a pen and a sheet of paper.

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1. Take a clean sheet of paper and draw a pig on it.

2.  Don’t look at the results before you have drawn the pig.

3.  DON’T PEEK AT RESULTS BEFORE YOU HAVE FINISHED DRAWING THE PIG!

Okay, are you ready? Oink, let’s start. Scroll to the bottom for the results after you drew a pig.

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Pig Test Results

If you have drawn a lot of details you are analytical, patient and suspicious.

If you have not wasted time on details, you are broad minded, sentimental, even gullible, not too systematic and take a lot of risks.

If you drew less than 4 legs you are in an insecure stage of life, or your entire life is in constant upheaval.

If you drew 4 legs, you are self confident, stubborn and hold on to your plans.

If you drew more than 4 legs, you are an idiot.

The size of the pigs ears tells about your ability to listen to other people — the bigger the better…

And finally the pig’s tail should tell you something about your sex life, once again the bigger and more curled, the… what, forgot the tail? No, it’s absolutely impossible to do the test again.

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Joke #18383

February 20th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What would you get if you crossed a pig with a tree?

A: A pork-u-pine.

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Joke #18349

February 20th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What’s a pig’s favorite fairy tale?

A: Hansel and Gruntel.

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Joke #18339

February 19th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What did Chicken Little say when the pig pen fell over?

A: “The sty is falling, the sty is falling!”

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Joke #18246

February 19th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What’s seven feet tall, wallows in mud, and has a huge snout?

A: Pig Foot.

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Joke #18088

February 16th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What’s the best medicine for a sick hog?

A: Pig pen-acillin.

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Joke #18062

February 15th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What do pigs enjoy most about casinos?

A: The slop (slot) machines.

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Joke #18061

February 15th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What would you get if you crossed a frog with a pig?

A: A wart hog.

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