A Visit to the Observatory

Our class went on a field trip to a gay observatory.  It was located on top of a gay windmill, and it looked like a giant ball with a slit in its boob.  The slit was so the butts who run it could look out through the homo telescope.  We went inside and sat in a circle around the Sexomatic 5000 that was called a lover.  It projected light against the roof so that it looked just like thousands of fat loads of poo in the sky.  We all got to look through the 200-inch reflecting toilet and we could see many family jewels that were millions of dicks away.  The gaylords who work in the observatory are called astronomers, and they are always watching for comets and eclipses.  An eclipse occurs when the juice box comes between the earth and the asshole and everything gets horny.

 

Some Physical Laws We All Should Know

1. If you apply heat to petroleum unleaded fart, it will fuck.

2. Water always seeks its own fruit.

3. In a right triangle, the square of the dick is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two boobs.

4. Sound travels through the air at a rate of 69 dicks per second.

5. Weight: 16 ounces equals one fudgamudga.

6. If an object is floating in sperm fluid, it displaces its own pussy.

7. Everything that goes west must come east.

 

E.S.P.

These days many gay scientists are studying the phenomenon known as E.S.P.  The initials E.S.P. stand for ethnically, stinky, poop.  If you have E.S.P. you can predict the future and read people’s peeping toms.  You can sometimes see coming events such as a sex crash.  Or a lesbian earthquake.  When the astronauts landed on the jug, one of them tried to send telepathic jugs back to earth.  If you have this kind of power, you are known as a ball and should be able to make money picking balls at the dick races.

 

Bad Submission #8659

name = XxxgamerxxX

email = sk8er_boy589@yahoo.com

use_email = yes

type = umm…just read it

title = umm…just read it!!!!

submission = I REALLY HAVE NO JOKE I JUST WANTED TO SAY THIS SONG…

 

“WHO PUT THE DICK ON THE SNOWMAN, AND IMBERRISED THE FAAAAMILY, YOU COULD HAVE USED A BALL BAT, A CUCUMBER OR A ZUCEENEA, INSTEAD YOU USED A THIMBLE, SOMTHIN’ YOU COULD BEAR TO SEE… WHO PUT THE DICK ON THE SNOWMAN AND MADE HIM LOOK LIKE ME!?!

 

THE END

 

Fun Stuff To Do

– Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don’t, then punch them in the face.

– Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. Then after everyone gives you sympathy remarks tell them you were just kidding and tell them they are all a bunch of queers.

– Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard.  Then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie. then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say “beat that.”

– Inform a co-worker that he wouldn’t make a good hooker then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good ass-fucking.

– Walk around with a big smile on your face while keeping one hand down your pants.

– Answer every question with “fuck if I know” then call the person a racial slur that doesn’t even match their race.

– Brag about the fact that you own a gun and keep playing with your nuts, get them really sweaty , then walk around shaking everyone’s hand.

– Shit on the floor of your office and when someone comes in and sees it tell them that it’s the fake plastic kind.  When they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

– Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over the place and yell “It won’t stop!” then when it stops, look down and say “oh.”

10. ask to borrow someon’es pen. take it to the bathroom and stick it in your ass. return it and tell the person to smell it. when they tell you it smells like shit say ” it should i had it in my ass !! “

 

TREFOR JONES

TREFOR JONES – n. ONE BIG WORD FAG he has sex with his dad and licks his moms penis he eats his dogs shit and rubs his ass on his sisters nipples he has a gang bang with his family and he thinks he is god and always complains because he has one caff what a faggot god knows he likes men and the only reason anyone ever does something with him is because he is dead last resort he sucks up to every one and bites penis trefor eat shit you dick licking cunt sucker