Joke #21950

There are three guys going hiking together: a black guy, a white guy, and a Jewish guy. They are all friends.

They all go hiking through the forest and through the meadow.  One of them steps on a bee’s nest, and the bee’s starting swarming them and start stinging the shit out of them and they all yell “ouch, shit” and they all flee through the meadow to get away from their nest.

They are soon catching their breath.

The white guy says “Ow, man I must got stung at least a dozen times!”

The black guy says “Aw that ain’t shit a got stung at least 30 times.”

The Jewish guys says “Fuck you guys I got stung 6 million times!”

 

Joke #21214: Tarzan Sex

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. “Tarzan not know sex,” he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, “Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.”

Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.”

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. “Here,” she said. “You must put it in here.”

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, “What did you do that for?”

“Tarzan check for bees.”