Squacklecast Episode 13 – “About the Olympics or Something”

This entry is part 13 of 31 in the series The Squacklecast

The Squacklecast is back from yet another hiatus to recap the Olympics!  Well, only some parts of it.

The best highlight of the Olympics?  Of course that goes to Carmelo Anthony receiving a nut punch.

Soccer on the international level is grade A bullshit.  No wonder the whole world loves it because they’re a bunch of fucking idiots.  America doesn’t like soccer because its fucking dumb!!!!

Ryan Lochte is a good looking guy… and then he opens his mouth…

And this is the Funny or Die we mentioned.  I didn’t think it was that great, but it serves to illustrate our point about Mr. Lochte.

This Danny Boyle guy should never touch another Olympic event ever.

Spice World is a great campy movie.  It has a lot of popular cameos of famous UK actors/singers.

It From the Pit will be a new Olympics game, I can feel it.

It From the Pit Box

The Pile Driver with the guy’s face in the other guy’s underwear.

Pile Driver In Underwear

The 2012 Icons are pretty shitty.  They should just put words instead of stupid stick figures, wouldn’t you say?

2012 Olympic Sports Logos

Well, that’s that!  Finally we can get back to our normal programming on NBC that I already don’t watch.

 

Forever Repressed: Dog in My Way, Part I

Sophie: You haven’t given me a speaking part in over a year.

Sussman: I haven’t written in over a year.

Sophie: Bullshit. Pet me.

Sussman: Why would I want to do that?

Sophie: Either pet me or I urinate in your shoes.

Sussman: No way, those are my shoes! (Pets Sophie.)

Sophie: Yes, that’s right. That’s where the money is.

(Sussman stops petting Sophie.)

Sophie: What the hell?

Sussman: I want to watch TV.

Sophie: Keep petting me!

Sussman: No, I want to watch some TV.

Sophie: Fine, turn it to American Idol. I love watching that British judge, Simon, make fun of the bad singers.

Sussman: We’re not watching American Idol. We’re watching the NBA Playoffs.

Sophie: That sucks.

Sussman: You suck!

The 2002-03 Cleveland Cavaliers: We suck!

Sophie: Get your candy asses out of here. Come back when you draft LeBron James.

Sussman: That ain’t gonna happen. Memphis is gonna draft LeBron.

Sophie: You callin’ me a liar, bitch?

Sussman: No, I’m callin’ you a BITCH, LIAR!

Sophie: That’s it. Get down on your knees and rub my tummy!

Sussman: Ew, no. I don’t go on the floor. That’s where you live.

Sophie: Come down to my house so I can kick your pasty white ass!

Simon, the British judge: Sophie, I think you have what it takes to be the next order of Chinese food.

Sussman: Exactly as I thought. Take ’em away, Yao.

Yao Ming: (Bumps head on ceiling.)

(Note: No Cavaliers won any basketball games in the making of this film.)

 

Am I an Introvert or an Extrovert?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?  Answer the next 10 questions, and tally up your results at the end to see your fate.

I would find it more fun to:

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The sports I like best are (mark the answer that includes the most sports you like):

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If I knew the answer to a question my teacher asked and no one else seemed to, I would:

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In the last year I have made:

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The people I admire most are:

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I would rather:

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I would dislike most:

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When I am asked questions that I know the answers to, I:

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In group activities I am:

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If my class were divided into two groups, with half the class the most outgoing kids and the other half the least outgoing, which would I be in?

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Total up how many of each Introvert and Extrovert answers you’ve selected.

If you’ve chosen more answers that are marked as Introvert, then you’re a loner.  Get some friends.  Or play volleyball.

If you selected more answers that are marked as Extrovert, then you’re an asshole.  You might want to keep yourself a little contained, you try-hard.

If you chose more of the third answer in this quiz, then you are either extremely lame or really really crazy.

 

Joke #12838

A successful basketball coach who was only six feet tall claimed that he could rate a player’s potential just by looking him in the eye.  If he could look a player in the eye without stooping, he rated him poor.  If he had to stand on his tiptoes to look him in the eye, he rated him fair.  And if he had to use a stepladder to look him in the eye, he rated him good.