donosiuqeo – v. to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory
Tag Archives: sleep
isadaioeu
isadaioeu – v. to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors in Pennsylvania
eietsidupi
eietsidupi – v. to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on
Joke #24736
Q: What do you call a nun sleepwalking?
A: A roamin’ Catholic.
ettrramufnideaasbi
ettrramufnideaasbi – v. to sleep in a bed with a sledgehammer that does not have any sheets, so you are sleeping right on the mattress itself.
If you get sleepy while driving, you should:
Loading ...Quote #22687
“I love reading, i’m a big book worm. lol i used to get in trouble when i was little becasue i would be up at night reading instead of sleeping.”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Felled
Lovely Text Message #22444: Dee -> davepoobond
I got a text message from some random number. So, as I usually like to have fun with these kinds of things, the following ensues:
–
Dee: Marcel? It’s dee
davepoobond: Hey baby what’s up how you doin
Dee: Hi lol I’ve been pretty good actually. Wbu?
davepoobond: O u kno jus chillin
davepoobond: N e plns 4 tonite
–
2 hours later
–
davepoobond: Yo you there?
–
5 hours later, at 1:57 AM she texts me again. (I was sleeping. Who the fuck texts back at 2 AM in the morning?)
–
Dee: My bad, my phone died. I was helping my cousin move
–
I wait until about 5:30 the next day and send her…
–
davepoobond: Hey what up dee what you up to
Dee: Whos this
davepoobond: What are you talkin bout
Dee: Who’s this*
davepoobond: Who is what
davepoobond: This is marcel
Dee: Which one? Lol what’s your last name
davepoobond: Why u askin how many marcels u kno?
davepoobond: Wait who is this
Dee: I know a few, and it’s dee. So which is it?
davepoobond: Jones
davepoobond: Which dee is this
davepoobond: U there?
–
Dammit! My like-a-black-guy texting didn’t convince her or something happened that tipped her off that she was texting the wrong person.
furiosoqu
furiosoqu – v. to fall asleep while being shaved by a barber
nahpo
nahpo – v. to sleep on the floor of a governmental building full of delegates
Quote #22094
First Date:
“this is random but i wouldn’t even mind going to a graveyard and fall asleep on a grave.”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Joke #18496
Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that he’d fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the building.
“But you’re such a light sleeper,” I said. “I’m surprised the sound of the guy breaking in didn’t wake you up.”
“I didn’t get fired for falling asleep,” he confessed, “I was fired for wearing my earplugs.”
Joke #18224
Q: Why did the baby vampire sleep in its parents’ bed?
A: It kept having bat dreams.
Joke #18191
Q: What does the Road Runner do when it can’t sleep?
A: It counts beep.